There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
by Pamplemousse-Juice
Summary: Two and a half years ago, Temperance Brennan left her life in DC for a new opportunity, thousands of miles away. It seemed like a clean break, but little did everyone else know that she was bringing a piece of home along with her...AU
1. Reckless Mistake

**Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Bones or any of its wonderful characters. The only things I can take credit for are this plot line, and of course the character of Olwyn :)**

Chapter One: Reckless Mistake

It was seven o'clock when I awoke that morning. It was the first morning in two and a half years that I was still lying in bed when my alarm clock went off. I set it for seven a.m. every night, in the hopes that one of these mornings I'd need it. Since the move, my sleep pattern, or lack thereof, was less than manageable. Awakening too early, nodding off far too late – it was the result of a number of contributing factors. An exhausting result. Maybe things were finally settling down, but then again maybe they weren't and this was just a once-off. An extra hour of sleep would be a nice bonus, but if I never got it back again it wouldn't trouble me too much. It was a small price to pay for my new life.

The one downside of waking that bit later was that I didn't have as much time to ease myself out of my slumber before getting to my morning routine. It was made slightly easier by the fact that there was more sunlight trickling through the gaps in the curtains, lighting the room, than there would have been an hour earlier. At first it stung my eyelids, prickling at them, daring them to open, and then as soon as they relented, singed my retinas. While I didn't exactly appreciate this, it did prevent me from nodding off again, as sometimes happened on darker mornings.

So eventually I pulled away the warm duvet, climbing out of my remarkably empty queen-size bed. Rarely did anyone else ever occupy the space beside me, and when that happened there was usually plenty of room still to spare. Even when she spread out her arms and legs as wide as possible (this seemed to be the only position in which she slept comfortably), Olwyn never filled it fully. That wasn't surprising, though. She was, after all, less than three feet tall.

But last night wasn't one of those nights when my daughter decided she needed my company for the night. She was pretty independent, like myself, and enjoyed sleeping in her own bedroom. She'd recently made the transition from the crib that still stood a few feet away from my bed to her own, 'big girl' bed and was very proud of that fact. It was no wonder that she was less and less eager to share a bed, or even a bedroom, with me. Having her own room meant my bed was no longer a tempting alternative to her crib anymore. As much as I loved to see her becoming her own person, I did sort of miss the sound of her tiny and yet perfectly balanced and rhythmic breathing lulling me to sleep at night. I wasn't as accustomed to sleeping alone as I once was.

I decided to by-pass Olwyn's bedroom as I walked slightly dozily along the hallway, heading straight for the kitchen. It was a Saturday, a day away from work, an opportunity to spend quality time with the daughter I felt as if I was neglecting during the week. However, part of that neglect involved disturbing her sleep at seven each morning to dress her and feed her before her nanny arrived. Though she didn't know life any other way, I still felt she deserved a lie-in when I could give it to her. I set about making a pot of coffee, which would hopefully eradicate my fatigue. It was something I could have done with my eyes closed at this stage. Between raising a small child alone, moving to a foreign country and heading up Ireland's first and still only Forensic Anthropology Department, I'd needed a hell of a lot of coffee to keep me both awake and sane. It had been worth the numerous trips to University College Dublin's Insomnia Cafe and the two coffee pots I'd managed to break, though. I'd helped solve over 20 murders so far in my time in Dublin, written another book, and most importantly, started the greatest adventure of my life so far – raising a daughter. Maybe it was the coffee that had disrupted my sleep pattern. Maybe, but then maybe it was the stress of the events that had led to me becoming a single mother living thousands of miles from home. I preferred the idea of the coffee – there was a scientific basis for that keeping me up at night.

I put two slices of Brennan's bread (I was slightly amused to find that was the most popular brand of bread here, while Olwyn has since become convinced that it was named after us) into the toaster, then went to retrieve my laptop from the study. I let it boot up on the kitchen table while I prepared my breakfast. I stared out the large kitchen window of my fourth-floor apartment, looking out onto Dun Laoghaire harbour. There was a few people already out for a morning walk along the pier, while the HSS ferry was pulling in, nearing the end of the first journey from Holyhead, Wales, of the weekend. Within the hour, there would be an abundance of UK cars driving through the streets of Dun Laoghaire, Blackrock and Glasthule. No one from the area would be surprised to see so many unusual license plates around the place all of a sudden – it was a clockwork routine we were all familiar with.

I loved Dun Laoghaire; it was nothing like DC, but it felt like home to me. Olwyn had never known another home but this small town – I wouldn't have it any other way. Ireland was a very, very different place to the US, though not how you'd expect. While a large proportion of the small island was made up of sprawling green fields and farms, the majority of people lived in Dublin, the capital city, and its surrounding area, which was anything but farm-like. It was like America in many respects, but on a smaller scale. It was things like the fact that every small town was within a few hours' drive, not plane journey, of every other town, or the fact that there were national, not regional, news bulletins every night that lasted less than a half hour for the entire country's news, that just made it seem much more close-knit, less detached than the States, which was arguably more like a continent than a country.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my toast popping behind me. I spread strawberry jam on it before pouring my coffee. I sat down at the table, opening up the online edition of the Irish Independent newspaper, as I did every Saturday. I read it for about a half hour, before a familiar voice drew me away from it.

"Morning Mommy." Olwyn said sleepily, rubbing her sleepy brown eyes as she toddled into the kitchen. I wasn't expecting her to wake of her own accord, but then again I wasn't exactly surprised. She was much more of a morning person than I ever was. She didn't need guilt or worry to rob her sleep early in the morning; it was just how she operated. I hoped that this habit would stay with her as she got older, as it would certainly make school-runs a lot easier for the two of us.

"Come here, sweetie." I said, lifting her up to sit on my lap. She rested her head against my chest, her deep black-brown curls tickling my chin. "Still tired, huh?"

"Nuh-uh, Mommy." She denied, sitting up, though as she said it she yawned widely. I smiled – it was as if being tired at half seven on a Saturday morning was a sign of weakness to her. She had no idea.

"Well that's good, because do you know where we're going today?" I asked, pushing a lock of hair out of her face. She looked up at me with those massive brown eyes.

"No, where we go today?" She asked, suddenly excited.

"We're going to go get our dresses for Aunt Angela and Uncle Hodgins' wedding." I said with a smile, which she reflected right back at me.

"Yay!" She exclaimed. She was the co-flower girl, along with Angela and Hodgins' one year old daughter Genevieve, who wouldn't really be able to do the job alone. They'd been engaged when they'd discovered that Angela was pregnant with their twins, Genevieve and Noah, and so had decided to wait until the two were old enough to play a part in the wedding to get married. Noah was the ring-bearer, with the help of Hodgins' 5 year old nephew. I d was honoured when they asked Olwyn and me to be a flower-girl and the Maid of Honour, respectively. It made sense, given that I had played that role at their last wedding, but it was still nice to be asked given that I was living so far away now. Rather than having all the bridesmaids wearing the same dresses, Angela had decided to let them all choose their own, as long they were all roughly the same shade of crimson red. The same applied to Olwyn and Genevieve's dresses. The wedding was in about a month, a few days before Christmas, but this was the first opportunity I'd had to get into Dublin to go dress-shopping. Olwyn was really looking forward to it – she couldn't wait for the wedding, either. She'd never been to the States before, and had only actually met the Hodgins family once in person, when they had visited in the Spring. I'd had my reasons for not visiting sooner.

Spurred on by the prospect of the trip into town and the chance to try on dresses, Olwyn hurriedly ate her Ready Brek, a form of children's oatmeal which she just adored, and rushed me along as I dressed her.

"C'mon, Mommy, we gotta get to the dresses!" She told me as I got dressed myself. She sat on the bed, playing with her doll as she bossed me about. She had a mind of her own, that was for sure.

It wasn't long, thanks to Olwyn's efforts, before we were walking along Marine Road, down to the bus stop from which the 46A bus would take us to Dublin city. I did have a car, but parking in, say Arnotts on Henry Street, meant that if we ended up buying our dresses on Grafton Street, we'd have to walk all the way back to the car. For those not familiar with the layout of Dublin, I can assure you that it's a long enough walk for a two-year old who refuses to sit in a stroller anymore. By contrast, there are bus stops all over the city, usually within a few minutes of you at any one time. Plus, Olwyn loved going on the bus, because it meant she could sit beside me and talk as much as she liked – something she loved to do – without me complaining that she was distracting me from driving. She had things figured out pretty well, all right.

And she did talk, for effectively the entire forty-five minute journey. Most of it was about the wedding, asking about how the whole event would happen. She'd never been to a wedding before, and so was extremely curious to see what it would be like. She was a very inquisitive little girl, and within reason I always answered all her questions. She retained information like a sponge would retain water, just lapping it all up. She could already read basic sentences, and pointed out the names of places on signs as we passed them whenever we were out and about. By 18 months, she could name practically every brand of car and in most cases the model names too. Right now she was most interested in the bilingual signage – everything was in both English and Irish. I felt bad, because I couldn't help her at all and she seemed somewhat frustrated with me. I promised her I'd ask some of my colleagues to teach me some Irish and she perked up. She didn't really understand that I hadn't lived in Dublin for my entire life, as she had.

"But Mommy, if you not from here, where you live before?" She asked me, when I explained why I didn't speak any Irish.

"In America, Olwyn. Where the wedding is going to be." I explained.

"But...you say that is lots of time from here." She seemed confused.

"Yes, it's a very long plane journey. Seven hours."

"Then how you see your Mommy?" That almost brought a tear to my eye. I hadn't exactly explained to her where my parents were; the question hadn't arisen before. The longer she didn't understand what a grandparent was, the better. Max hadn't a clue that I had a daughter, though I intended on telling him before the wedding. As for my Mom, well I felt the same about the concept of death as I did about grandparents with relation to her comprehension of it. She was too young for that.

"I don't see my Mommy, Olwyn. She's not around anymore."

"Why?" Her favourite word.

"She just...isn't, okay? I'll explain it to you another time." She didn't seem satisfied with my answer, but knew I wasn't going to elaborate.

"Mommy, do you have a...Daddy?" I nodded.

"Yes." Well, I wasn't going to lie to her.

"But he's a lot of time away, too?" I nodded again.

"Yes."

"He goes to the wedding?"

"I don't think so, Ol."

"Why not?"

"He's not invited. He doesn't know Aunt Angela and Uncle Hodgins." Well, in fact, I wasn't certain of this. He did know them, working at the Jeffersonian, so maybe he would be invited.

"Okay...but do you go see him when we there? I can see him?" I sighed. I knew she'd ask me this.

"Maybe, honey, maybe."

"Okay." She nodded. "Mommy?"

"Yes, Olwyn?" I was hoping she'd take us off the current topic.

"I see my Daddy?" Dammit.

"No, I don't think so, honey."

"But I have one, a Daddy?" Gingerly, I nodded. "Why he not here?"

"That's...complicated, Olwyn." I could feel the stares of other passengers, inadvertently eavesdropping on my daughter's rather loud questions.

"Is he like your Mommy? Not around no more?"

"No, he's not like that."

"He loves me? Like you love me?"

"Yes, more than anything in the entire world, Olwyn." He would if he knew you existed, that is.

"Good, 'cos I love him." My heart broke for my little girl. This was my fault. "You love him?"

"...Yes. I love your Daddy." More than he ever knew, and ever would know.

"He love you?" I restrained myself from shaking my head, nodding it feebly, even though I knew I was lying. "That's good."

"It is, sweetheart." I hugged her close. This just wasn't fair on anyone, including myself. I hated having to lie to my child.

"I think bout him lots." She said quietly.

"Really?" I was surprised by this.

"Yeah, but I not know how he look, so it's hard." She looked down. "You know what he look like?"

"Yes, very much so." I bit my lip.

"You have picture?" I shook my head, lying. "That's okay. But you tell me?"

"Olwyn, I really don't want to talk about your Daddy, okay?"

"Why not?" My eyes started to well up. "He not a nice person?"

"He's the nicest man who ever lived."

"Then why you so sad?" Her big eyes looking into mine bore the answer. They were his eyes.

"Because it's a long time since I saw your Daddy. He was very sick the last time we talked."

"Sick? Like a cold?" She was so innocent.

"No, his head was hurt, Olwyn. He was just...very sick."

"Okay." She seemed to sense I really didn't want to talk about her Dad anymore. "I love you, Mommy." She hugged me and placed a kiss on my cheek. I smiled.

"I love you Olwyn. And I promise you, your Daddy does too. He just can't see you right now, okay?"

"I understand Mommy. Like I can't see the stars right now, but I will sometime, right?" I couldn't honestly promise her that, and she'd never forget my answer to this question.

"You'll see him." She seemed satisfied.

Yes, she would definitely see him, but whether or not she would know he was her father remained to be seen. Angela and Hodgins had used the same logic by which I'd been selected to be the Maid of Honour to choose the Best Man, so I knew for a fact that her Dad would be at that wedding.

I wasn't sure whether that was a good thing, or a bad thing. On the one hand, there was no way he could ever know about Olwyn – he'd never loved me, but one way I could ensure he never would be to tell him I'd hidden his daughter from him for two years. He'd treasure her too much – he'd never forgive me for it and any hope we ever had of restoring our relationship to anywhere near its former glory would go up in flames.

However, Olwyn was his daughter. She was clearly aware of the fact that her father was absent from her life, and it was having a much more profound effect on her than I'd ever anticipated. This had never been something she'd shown interest in before, so I was definitely taken aback to hear she thought about him. She had absolutely no idea what she was missing, not having him around. I knew what I told her was true – her Daddy would certainly love her more than anything else if he had any idea that she existed. He would be a fantastic father to her; I knew this because I'd seen him with his son.

The thought of him finally holding her in his arms both warmed and broke my heart at the same time. The reunion would definitely be positive for both of them, at first, but I also knew what separation from his own son had done to him. I wasn't in a position to uproot myself and Olwyn to move back to him, and neither was he. The distance would kill him and she would never be able to get her head around it. What if he fought for her, for custody? Olwyn was settled here; she was going to start pre-school this coming Autumn. This was her home, the only home she'd ever known. A transatlantic relationship with her father and a possible custody battle over her between the two of us wouldn't do her any good. She didn't need her world to be turned upside down by my reckless mistake.

But then again, it was my reckless mistake that made this world her reality. Who was to say it was the right one for her? I looked at her big brown eyes, and there I found my answer.

A/ N – Just a few notes I need to make on this one:

a) Brennan left DC shortly after Booth woke up from his coma, around the time she would have gone to South America. However, she got a job offer in Ireland instead... It was originally going to be set in London, but we have no forensic anthropologists here, plus I know my way around the country pretty well so it's really easy to write about it accurately and naturally!

b) Angela and Hodgins got back together shortly after the End in the Beginning (Season Four finale).

c) Booth's tumour was only detected a few weeks later than in the original canon - allowing more to happen before he told her he'd changed his mind...

So, do you think I should continue this? It'll get a lot more interesting as the plot thickens, I assure you...

Reviews are very welcome, as always – positive and negative of course!


	2. Not Today

Chapter Two: Not Today

Monday morning and I have never been on particularly good terms, but usually the two of us can get through our weekly encounters without too much trouble. It's just matter of grinning and bearing it, for the most part, with the help of a cup of coffee or two, and before you know it it's all over for another seven days. However, when I awoke on that particular Monday morning in November, I found it difficult to muster the strength to even show my face. It wasn't because I'd slowly drunk myself to sleep the previous night; I hadn't even the slightest hint of a headache and woke up about an hour and a half before my alarm was set to summon me. No, I had a feeling it might have something to do with the reason why I'd found myself drinking last night in the first place. Not that anyone ever had to know about that, though.

Reluctant to get up and face the world, I lay there in my bed staring at the ceiling, unable to get back to sleep. I wished that my mind could be as lethargic as my body; it was all I could do to keep from thinking about the day before me. Unfortunately that early in the morning my mind wasn't up for much of a battle, and I found my thoughts straying to that forbidden area. I tried to distract myself, but I couldn't think of anything less painful to think about. That was how miserable my life had become. Eventually I decided to give up the ghost and tried to pull myself out of the bed. It wasn't easy, but I desperately needed a distraction.

I placed my iPod on my stereo and set it to shuffle. With an extra hour to get myself out of the apartment to work, I took my time with every detail of my appearance. I spent extra time in the shower and took care tying my tie correctly, placing my 'Cocky' buckle on my belt and gelling my hair. It was a routine I followed every single day without fail, just slowed down slightly this morning. It was like clockwork, a well-oiled machine. A machine powered by coffee, that is. I'd started drinking it again once my doctor had said it was safe to do so again, and I now I couldn't remember the last time I'd gone a few hours without drinking it. It helped keep me sane these past couple of years; my sanity was all I seemed to have left. And as it stood, it was holding on by a thread. Recent events weren't exactly helping, either.

I was pouring the first cup of coffee of the day when it happened: the opening strains of 'Hot Blooded' reached my ears. I threw the pot down on the counter, coming close to breaking it. I felt the same wave of emotion wash over me that I felt every time I saw her novels topping the bestseller lists. It was indescribable, bubbling up within me and taking me over. It wasn't just anger, it was a mixture of hurt, frustration, pain, loneliness…all the feelings that I felt any time I thought of her. That song reminded me of the good times long gone – gone because she took away from me. I didn't waste any time shutting it off - I didn't need this, not this morning, not today, not ever. I tried to put it out of my mind as I left the apartment early. I didn't bother getting any coffee, I'd have to do without it. I had a temper and was acutely aware of it, and I needed to cool down. This had happened many times before, and I knew by this stage that nothing good ever came from it.

It wasn't long until I found myself in my office at the FBI, leafing through paperwork, wanting to be anywhere but there. I longed to be with her, for this not to be the life she'd thrown me into, but to no avail. What difference would it make, anyway? I'd clearly misread the situation, so going back two and a half years to before all this happened wouldn't change anything. She'd just be here rather than there. She still wouldn't care about me, not the way I still do about her. She could never understand how she gave me butterflies whenever she smiled at me, how much it killed me not to kiss her like I did when we first met every time I laid eyes on her, how I could never tell her my feelings for fear they'd never be reciprocated, that they would destroy what we already had. Instead they destroyed me while she was blissfully oblivious. Maybe it was for the better that she didn't know. I wouldn't have wanted her to have felt like she owed me something she didn't have. There was a big difference between one drunken kiss in the rain and love.

I sighed, looking around the office. I needed a distraction from my inner turmoil, the useless feelings that would never amount to anything more than a storm inside me, desperate to get out but never to make their escape. A single day was yet to go past when they didn't wage war on my guts, making me feel physically sick. Usually the pain was dulled by the events of the outside world, a world that seemed a little less bright than it once did, but not this morning. I'd wrapped up a case the previous Friday, and in any other context I'd be grateful that I had nothing to do – I dealt in homicide, after all – but in that moment I actually found myself wishing I had a case. I felt awful about that, but that was the way she made me feel these days: awful.

Then something caught my eye: the London Bobby on my desk. I couldn't help feeling that same wave of emotion rise within me again, that irrational hatred of an inanimate object which held no significance to anyone else in the world but me. Before I knew it, I'd chucked the thing across the room. I looked up to see Sweets standing in the doorway.  
"Woah, dude, what the hell was that?!" He asked, a mixture of shock and fear apparent on his face. "Did I do something?" He asked, incredulously.

"Oh, God no, Sweets. I didn't even see you there." I apologised, embarrassed all of a sudden. I hadn't intended on letting him, or anyone for that matter, see me like this. "I threw it before I knew you were there." I said, shaking my head. I felt so damn stupid for letting my emotions take hold of me like that. And yet I couldn't help but think, _'she wouldn't have approved of that'_. Of course she wouldn't – she could never understand how one's feelings could have such a powerful effect on their behaviour, because she had the uncanny ability to just put all hers into a little box. While at the moment I envied that, I couldn't say in all honesty that it was an admirable trait. "I'm sorry." I avoided his eyes, but my tone was sincere.

"It's okay, it's okay." He said, walking in and rubbing his forehead a little. He sat down opposite me. "Is there...something you want to talk about, Agent Booth?" He asked, clearly concerned. I looked up. It wasn't as if that question caught me off guard or anything, him being a psychologist who seemed to have a particular interest in what made me tick, but I really didn't feel up to answering it.

"No." I lied. Yeah, as if he'd buy that.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "This wouldn't have anything to do with today's date, would it?" There was a knowing smirk upon his child-like face. It was annoying, to say the least.

"Why would that have anything to do with it?" I feigned ignorance. It was futile - I was up against a human lie detector after all.

"I think you know." I avoided his eyes. I _really_ didn't want to talk about this.

"I don't even know what date it is, Sweets."

"22nd of November." He pointed to the day-to-day calendar sitting on my desk.

"What, so you think I'm mourning the loss of JFK?" I asked flippantly. I didn't need to look at the calendar to know that it was the anniversary of his death, but we both knew well that that wasn't what made today significant.

"Of course not, Agent Booth. You know very well what I'm getting at." Sweets said, a slight hint of exasperation in his voice. He was used to my deflections when it came to this very touchy subject. He should have been expecting them by this stage.

"No I don't."

"I'm not gonna say it. You have to." Sweets looked right into my eyes. They were piercing, much more than you'd expect coming from a kid like him. I finally gave in, surprising even myself with my tone.

"Fine. Fine, you know what Sweets? I'm sick of these games. You trying to get me to face this, I'm sick to the teeth of it. So you think getting me to say it aloud will be healing or something? Fine then - it's Dr. Brennan's birthday! You want me to shout it from the rooftops? Cos I will! You just watch me!"

"That won't be necessary, Agent Booth." He said calmly, that smirk still upon his boyish face. He seemed satisfied, proud of his 'achievement'. He'd better be careful - I was extremely annoyed and he was already walking on thin ice.

"You happy now, Sweets?" I asked bitterly. I was disappointed with myself over that outburst. I'd been so determined to just deflect until he left. That was what I usually managed to do. I guess I wasn't on form today. Not surprising.

"Define 'happy'. I mean, I'm pleased you managed to do what I wanted you too, but I'm by no means 'happy' about the situation in which you currently find yourself."

"And that would be?" I didn't like where he was going with this.

"Well that you're so wound up about Dr. Brennan that you're throwing bobble-heads at people - hard, by the way."

"I didn't throw that at you, Sweets. You just got in the way."

"Not really the point, Booth."

"Then what _is_ your point?"

"That you were throwing the bobble-head in the first place. It's been two and a half years since Brennan left. You need to do something about this."

"Why do you assume I was angry because of her? I mean yeah, it's her birthday, but there's a hell of a lot of other things going on in my life right now." And there were. "I also have, you know, the fact that Rebecca thinks that just because she's married now she can just decide to move hundreds of miles away and take my son with her. What makes you think this is about Temperance Brennan?"

"The fact that it's her birthday, and that that bobble-head was a souvenir from your trip to London with her." Sweets sighed. "Look, I know that things aren't exactly going well for you right now, but do you think that these feelings are making life any easier for you?"

"What feelings? Who says I even have any feelings for Dr. Brennan?" Ha, as if I could ever get rid of these feelings. They were practically etched into my very being.

"Says me, and everyone who cares about you, Booth. Me, Angela, Hodgins, Cam - we all hate seeing you like this." Sweets looked at me, and for the first time this morning I saw a friend and not just a meddling psychologist. There was real concern in those eyes, as if they were trying to tell me that he honestly cared about the fact that I felt like shit. I believed them.

"How much d'you figure I like feeling like this, Sweets? You think I enjoy feeling like complete crap every time I'm reminded of her? And that's pretty damn often, you know." I sighed. "But what the hell am I supposed to do about it? She left me, she's the one who cut me out of her life. I'm not exactly in a position to fix things, am I? She obviously doesn't want anything to do with me."

"That's not necessarily true."

"And you would know that how?"

"Well, apart from the fact that I maintained contact with Dr. Brennan after she moved to Dublin, anyone who has read her latest novel would be able work it out."

"So what? You're saying I should read it?"

"Well, not quite, but that would certainly be a good idea." He smiled. "You have a copy?"

"You kidding me? I freak out everytime I hear 'Hot Blooded', and you think I own a copy of any of her books anymore?" I did in fact still have every single one of them, including the latest one, in a box - even if my heart was crushed now, I knew I'd regret throwing them out in the future. Sweets didn't need to know that. He'd probably read far too much into it, as per usual.

"I understand. I have mine in my bag, actually - I just finished reading it." I could tell that wasn't true. The book had been released a few weeks ago, and I knew he'd been first in line to get a copy. Chances were he'd finished it within days of buying it. He had known that I'd be agitated today and that this conversation would lead to Dr. Brennan – he had guided it there, after all. Typical Sweets. Just because he'd written a book about our relationship - one he never published, probably because Brennan up and abandoned me - he thought he knew everything there was to know about us. He hadn't the first clue.

He pulled out a copy of 'Bone of Contention' from his bag and handed it to me. I opened the first page, and was immediately confused.

"What the hell is this dedication supposed to mean?"

"What?"

"'To my dearest Olwyn, you make my world brighter with every smile'." I read out. I was confused. Firstly, this just didn't sound like something Brennan would say, and secondly who the hell was this Olwyn she seemed to love so much? I think, in the back of my mind, I knew exactly who she was, but I couldn't admit it to myself. No, that would be too painful. "Who's Olwyn?"

"It's not my place to tell you, Booth." Sweets said, with a slight sense of panic about him. Hmm, something he hadn't been anticipating, then? I looked directly into his eyes - who had the killer stare now?

"I'll repeat the question: who is Olwyn?" I said it more forcefully this time.

"I...I can't tell you, Booth." I bet he was regretting trying to pick my brain, now.

"Look, you want me to start 'healing'? Then you need to answer this question."

"I really don't think knowing who Olwyn is is going to help matters in anyway."

"Well I can always find out, you know, Sweets. Something tells me you're not the only one who knows who she is." Sweets sighed. I knew well that if this was something important, he'd want someone who understood the situation to be the one to tell me. I wasn't sure if it was reassuring or not that he appeared to be relenting. "If she is who I think she is, I think it'll definitely affect matters, anyway." 'Help' seemed optimistic, as if who she was would make me feel in any way better.

"Fine, but you didn't hear this from me, okay? I'm telling you this strictly as your friend, so you need to promise me you won't jeopardise my friendship with Dr. Brennan." He warned me.

"I promise." I said, a little nervously.

"Okay." He said, reaching into his bag again. He pulled out his phone, and tapped it a few times, before presenting it to me. I looked down at the photo on the screen, and the breath caught in my throat. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; my brain was telling my eyes that they were lying. I was looking at a photo of Dr. Brennan holding a little girl, maybe two years old at most. She had big brown eyes, gorgeous dark brown curls and a smile that would certainly brighten anyone's world everytime they saw it. There was something unmistakeably like Brennan about her, I couldn't put my finger on it, but I could tell from this exactly who she was. Even though I'd already had an inkling, seeing this photograph still crushed me.

"No, Sweets. That can't be..."

"Booth, you said you wanted to know who Olwyn was, well that's her. Olwyn Christine Brennan." I could tell that this wasn't easy for him to do. This was something he'd kept from me for two and a half years, though probably not because he honestly wanted to himself. I could see that he felt as if he was letting Brennan down. She didn't deserve his shame. This wasn't just a lie of omission, it was a secret. I couldn't get my head around how she could hide something as amazing as a child from me. I mean, I suppose Olwyn was none of my business, as there was no way she could be mine, but I still thought that she was above this. If it had been me, I would have at least let our mutual friends tell her, even if it was too awkward for me to tell her myself. I wouldn't have sworn them to secrecy. Why was it so damn important to her that I not know about that beautiful little girl?

"I can't believe she would want to keep her from me."

"Why is that?" He asked curiously.

"Because...because having a baby, that's just too big a secret. We were close back then – I thought I would have been one of the first people she'd tell. I mean, she's what, two?" He nodded. "Well I'm no Math whiz, but for that kid to be two years old Brennan had to have pregnant before she moved to Dublin, before I got sick. If she had been leaving me because I got sick, if that's why she distanced herself, then why wouldn't she have told me about the baby before any of it happened? I mean, she had to have been an accident, right? She never wanted kids, never." A look of slight confusion appeared on Sweets' face, but it faded quickly, so I ignored it.

"I don't know the ins and outs of it, Booth. All I know is she didn't tell anyone before she moved."

"Typical Brennan." I said, bitterly. "We could have helped her - she didn't have to run away. I don't understand how moving to a foreign country could have ever seemed like a good idea to her, not when she had all of us here to support her. Raising a kid is tough enough even when you have someone else to share the load, in case you didn't know."

"I know. I do have a child of my own, Booth." He reminded me. "Look, maybe she didn't want to burden you. You were very sick the last time she saw you. You had a lot to deal with."

"Not so much that I wouldn't have wanted her around. She didn't need to have to bring a child into the world without the love and support of her family and friends around her." I could have killed her now, for being so stupid. Did she not understand that it takes a village to raise a child? That sometimes you don't have to do things on your own, that looking for help isn't always a sign of weakness?

"I saw how Dr. Brennan was after you woke up - she was terrified. She's lost pretty much everyone she ever lo-... cared about. I think she was just so shaken by the um, accidental pregnancy that she acted irrationally. She may be ashamed of it, of abandoning you, so to speak. She also doesn't know you're the same guy you were before you got sick. For all you know she desperately wants to see you again."

"Ha, I doubt that." I did. Two years was enough time to get your act together, to make contact. She'd clearly decided that she didn't want to.

"Well you're going to have to face this sometime."

"Says who?"

"She's the Maid of Honour, Booth." I sunk back in my chair. Oh. So that's why Angela and Hodgins were staying so quiet on the matter of the wedding party.

"I…I didn't know."

"Well you didn't honestly didn't think Angela and Hodgins would get married without her there, did you?"

"I doubted she'd want to come."

"No you didn't. Brennan and Angela are best friends, Booth. You know that."

"Well, it's been a long time. Things change."

"Not as often as you'd think, Booth. Some relationships are made to last, despite the circumstances." Sweets looked at me. There was a double meaning to it that I picked up immediately. Why did he have to do that? What did he know? He was happy. He had this optimistic buzz about him. I hated that. I hated that he was so content with his life. But he had every right to be, with a loving wife and a perfect little girl. That could have been me, if she'd just let me in for once. But no, she just ran from her feelings, from everything that was just that little bit out of her comfort zone.

"Not this time." I sighed, not referring to Brennan and Angela's friendship, of course. "So she'll be at the wedding, so what?"

"Olwyn will be with her. She's the flower-girl."

"And? I don't necessarily have to talk to either of them."

"But you will." Sweets gave me a knowing look. "You will because you love her."

"Okay, you can leave now Sweets. Right now." I managed to keep my cool. Just about. I definitely could have cracked at any moment. That word, concept…it was forbidden territory. Love left my vocabulary two and a half years ago, just vanished. I hadn't loved anyone since she broke my heart. I don't think I'm capable of it anymore. No one could fill the Brennan-shaped hole she left in my life, because she was so incredibly unique that it could only fit her. Only she could patch it up. Well, only the woman I knew two and a half years ago could. The woman I thought I knew.

"You see, this is exactly the problem, Booth!"

"Get out, Sweets!" I looked directly at him, glaring. He'd crossed a line. I just didn't need this today. He nodded, seeming to finally realise that there was no way I was going to discuss this with him. Why was he so surprised? He'd been trying and failing to get me to open up about my feelings for two years now. What made him think that today would be any different? Today was possibly the worst day for him to come in and to try and analyse me, even though I knew that he'd come today of all days with that specific intention. I acted like I didn't care that it was her birthday – it wasn't as if she ever would – but deep down it killed me that she wasn't here.

Eventually Sweets got the message and stood up.

"I'm sorry Booth." I remained silent for a few moments.

"It's okay, Sweets." I forgave him. "I know that it's just what you do." He smiled.

"Sometimes I can't help it." He sighed. "But that's not what I was apologizing for. I let this go on way too long, this separation."

"_You_ let it go on too long? Sweets, you were just following her orders."

"But I'm not her subordinate, Booth. I didn't have to follow her orders. You're as much my friend as hers. I should have told you sooner, about Olwyn."

"It's not your fault, Sweets."

"Just promise me you'll talk to her at the wedding, okay? You know what Dr. Brennan's like; it's not like she's going to make the first move."

"Fine, I'll talk to her."

"And read the book. It'll be an eye-opener for you."

"Yeah, whatever, maybe." I said as he walked out of the room.

I sighed, sitting back in my chair. This was a lot to take in. I thought about that little girl. Olwyn Christine Brennan. It was a pretty name, it suited her. It was the kind of name Brennan would choose for her daughter. Her _daughter_. God, how the hell had that happened? How was Temperance Brennan suddenly a…mommy? It just didn't seem right. I wondered whether her father knew about her. While I could see Brennan hiding her kid from me, there was no way she could be so heartless as to conceal Olwyn from her dad. Even if she didn't love him, if she loved her daughter she would have been compelled to tell him. I knew deep down that she wasn't capable of that kind of selfishness. She was a good person, despite her many flaws. We may not have parted on good terms, but beneath that tough exterior lay a woman with good intentions. I had faith in the goodness that was somewhere in her heart. She may not have been able to access it when she abandoned me in my hour of need, but when it came to her child I knew that it would have been in overdrive. It didn't matter how emotionally-scarred you were, when it came to your child you'd move mountains to keep them happy. I know I would for Parker, even though I saw so little of him now. Chicago seemed so far from here, but comparatively speaking it was very close; I don't know how I'd be able to cope with having my child living on another continent.

Thank God there's no way Olwyn is mine.

**A/N** – Okay, I just want to clarify something for people. Booth's tumour wasn't detected until a couple of weeks later than in the original canon, so the damage was a lot more profound. He made a full recovery, but as you'll see, when he first woke up his amnesia was a lot worse… Also, what happened when Brennan first realised he was sick is the same – that was when he told her he didn't want her to go ahead with it… take from that what you may, I'm not going to elaborate just yet.

Anyway, thanks for all the wonderful feedback – it aided the writing of this and the next few chapters greatly and it also made me feel good about writing so much instead of doing study for the Junior Cert… We all know what's more important, right? Yeah, I knew you'd agree with me.


	3. Something Is Better Than Nothing

Chapter Three: Something Is Better Than Nothing

As I stepped out of Booth's office, I felt my head literally spinning, totally incapable of believing what I'd just done. I'd told Booth about Dr. Brennan's daughter – his daughter – after two and a half years of silence on the matter. Granted, he still didn't know that he was Olwyn's father, but I couldn't get over the fact that I'd finally had the courage to break that incredibly tense silence after so long. It felt good to tell him, even if it had been initially inadvertent. I had felt guilty about keeping that massive secret from him – I've always considered lying by omission to be just as wrong as outright lying – but I'd also felt that it wasn't my place to inform him that Brennan had given birth to _his_ child. That was her job - she wasn't going to get off so easily, leaving us to do her dirty work for her. And as much as it would pain Booth to be living on a different continent to his child, we – we being myself, Angela, Cam and Hodgins - all agreed that he had a right to know. Dr. Brennan didn't seem to agree, and therein lay our problem. My own lack of foresight had led me to find a common ground between the two alternatives, but I knew it was only a matter of time before the truth – the whole truth – came out.

I decided that I had to let Angela know what I'd done. Just as I had become somewhat of a confidant for Booth – though usually our interactions consisted of me throwing a lot of probing questions at him and him deflecting each one with a skill honed through practice – Angela had a direct line to Brennan. They called each other each weekend without fail and probably knew each other better now than they had when they hadn't lived thousands of miles apart. We often talked about the two of them, especially in the early days, when this situation was still foreign to us all. Angela and I were the first people that Brennan had told about her pregnancy, via the webcam we'd set up when we'd both individually realised that something was going on with her. I'm not quite sure how either of us knew; it was probably a combination of all the irrational decisions she'd made and erratic behaviour she'd displayed in those past couple of months, including her request for Booth's sperm in the first place. We'd both noticed that something was clearly wrong after she moved, but we hadn't been expecting the answer she gave us when we confronted her. Ever since that discovery, the two of us had informed each other of any developments at either end of the 'split', if you were to call it that. I figured this qualified as a pretty significant development, alright.

It wasn't long before I was walking down the corridor towards the Medico-Legal Lab of the Jeffersonian Institution, at a slightly quicker pace than usual. I was nervous, excited and somewhat relieved to have at least part of that secret off my chest. Angela would probably be relieved that it had been me who'd ended up telling him, too – she had been very tempted to do so on many occasions before. Neither of us liked to look at those sad, lonely eyes; Booth tried to hide the hurt Brennan had caused him, but as soon as he'd recovered from his brain trauma and he remembered her, what she'd meant to him, the emotional trauma set in – there was no hiding that and even he knew deep down that his efforts were futile. He said he was moving on, but not once did any first date progress to a second, not once did his eyes get that twinkle back. We felt partially responsible for that.

When I reached the Lab itself, I was greeted by just the woman I wanted to see.

"Hey Sweets." She said with a smile, albeit a slightly confused one. There was no reason for me to be standing where I was, other than a development in the love life (or lack thereof) of Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan.

"Hi Angela," I smiled, "I need to talk to you." I wasn't going to beat about the bush on this one. She nodded, understanding that this had nothing to do with any murder – well, not yet anyway. We walked straight to her office, as we had several times before in the last two and a half years.

When we got there, I wasted no time getting to the point. My nerves were practically pushing the words out of my mouth.

"I told him. I told Booth about Olwyn." The words fell off my lips in a hurried fashion as I collapsed onto the sofa. I wasn't sure if she'd understood what I'd said. Either that or the confused look on her face was the result of understanding exactly what I'd just said.

"You...Oh, Sweets. How could you? I thought we'd agreed not to tell him anything about Olwyn!" She looked disappointed as she sat down beside me.

"I didn't mean to, Angela. I told him he should read Brennan's new book and –"

"It's dedicated to Olwyn." She nodded, understandingly. "So he asked who she was?"

"All I told him was that she existed, who she was. I didn't tell him anything about him being her father. In fact, he seemingly doesn't remember anything about Brennan ever wanting kids. A residual effect of the tumour, no doubt."

"Oh. All this time I thought that he just didn't want to talk about it. I didn't think he really didn't remember it." She sighed. "So how did he take it?"

"Not fantastically, but better than I'd expected. I mean, he was fairly taken aback, and he couldn't believe that Brennan would actively try to hide Olwyn from him, but he seemed more defeated than angry."

"That's not necessarily an improvement." She pointed out.

"It is when you consider that what got us talking about Brennan in the first place was the fact that he was so angry about her birthday that he threw that bobble-head from London at me as I walked into his office."

"Oh dear." She frowned. "That's not good at all."

"You know, I'd forgotten that 'Bone of Contention' was dedicated to Olwyn." I said, wondering aloud. "Do you think that Brennan, deep down, wanted this to happen? I mean, she knew he'd read it at some stage."

"Maybe." Angela shrugged. "Bren always thought everything she did through, so I can't imagine she wouldn't have considered the possibility of that dedication raising questions with Booth. Though maybe we're just trying to make our actions feel more justified."

"Well you didn't do anything."

"Says who? Aside from the fact that I've wanted to tell Booth everything for a long time, and have come very close to spilling the beans on several occasions, he's not the only one who hasn't been kept fully in the know these last couple of years. Do you think Brennan knew about Booth's current state of depression before I told her?"

"You told Brennan that Booth is depressed?" I asked, slightly incredulously.

"Not in so many words, but yeah. I was hoping that she'd come to the conclusion that she'd have to tell Booth about his daughter when she comes for the wedding."

"Do you think it's working?" I asked, hopefully. Brennan telling Booth herself would be an ideal situation, but somewhere in the back of my mind I couldn't help but feel that it would end up being one of us who let him know. I didn't want that to be the case, but if Brennan didn't wake up to reality, then it would have to be. This couldn't go on forever.

"Maybe. I was talking to her yesterday – she said Olwyn asked her why she had no daddy." There was definite sadness in her eyes, which I'm sure my own reflected.

"Wow. If that's not going to guilt her into telling Booth, nothing will." We all knew that Olwyn was bound to ask those questions sometime. She had a right to answers too, as did Booth.

"I know, right? I can just imagine how confused she must be, and I know how that's killing Brennan. I could hear it in her voice."

"You think she might really be considering it?" She nodded.

"I think so. I mean, it's the only logical thing to do, right? He's the father of her child, and even she knows that what she's been doing is wrong."

"It's more logical than the game she's been playing for the last two and half years, anyway."

"This is just crazy, isn't it?" She said, shaking her head. "I mean, three years ago, who'd have guessed that we'd be sitting here, trying to work out how to get Brennan to tell Booth that they have a little girl together. All these insane things happened at once, and landed us all in this crazy mess of lies and hurt. You know, I wonder sometimes, if Booth hadn't gotten sick whether she would have stayed and they would have realised what we were trying to tell them all this time."

"That they belong together? Maybe. Booth likes to gamble, he might have wanted to give it a shot, but Brennan? That would have been way outside her comfort zone. She wanted to raise a child alone, or at least that was the story she was going with. I don't know how ready she would have been to commit to a relationship, especially with Booth, even if he wanted to be a part of his child's life. From what I could see, she didn't want to jeapordise that friendship and partnership by opening up to the kind of pain that she saw as inevitable in romantic relationships. The irony is that she was already doing that by asking for his sperm, whether it was agreed that he was a part of the kid's life or not. Now their relationship, in all senses of the word, is a shambles. All their bridges have been demolished. They'd be lucky to maintain a professional partnership at this rate."

"Well they'll have to see past all that, they'll have to build those bridges up again, for their daughter's sake." A small frown spread across my lips. "What?"

"'Their daughter'." I said, saddened.

"That's who Olwyn is, isn't she?" She laughed, though a little confused.

"Yeah, I know, but even after all this time, it still seems weird to think of them as having a child together. I mean, I've been rooting for them as a couple since day one, but it's still strange to think of Olwyn as _their_ daughter. She's Brennan's daughter, but I find it hard to think of her as Booth's. He doesn't think it's _possible_ that she's his child, and she's spending her formative years without even knowing what it feels like to have a dad. That's just not right."

And it was true. Brennan had taken Olwyn away from Booth _because_ he'd told her he wanted to be a part of his child's life, before he even knew she was pregnant. He was going to be devastated by the fact that he'd missed two years of her life already, especially once he realised that Brennan took her away from him with the express intention of keeping him out of his daughter's life. Okay, maybe that sounds harsh on Brennan, but let's face it, that's the way Booth's going to read it. I've tried to imagine myself in the same position with my daughter. I don't think I'd be able to forgive Daisy for stealing Avery from me before I even knew she existed. I've only known her six months, and yet she's very quickly become the most special person in my life. I wouldn't trade all those 'firsts' for anything in the world - to have them taken before I even knew they were going to happen would be unbearable. That doesn't mean I wouldn't love Avery just as much as I do now if I only found out about her when she was two; I'm sure Booth will adore Olwyn when he finally discovers the truth. It would just be difficult for me to get my head around the fact that my daughter hadn't had a father for all that time. She wouldn't understand that it wasn't my fault that I hadn't been there for her. In Olwyn's case, Brennan is her sole role model, the person she loves most in the world. Her mind wouldn't be capable of comprehending that her mother could have done that to both her and her father, so until she's old enough to understand she'll think it was just that Booth didn't care enough to be there for her.

I know Brennan never thought about all of this when she decided to have Booth's baby, because she never thought he'd confess that he wanted to be more than a sperm donor to their child, but I couldn't help but blame her for all of this. She did what she did because she thought she was protecting Booth from pain, but in reality she was causing him a hell of a lot more. Sure, she'd thought that he'd forgotten everything, we'd all thought that, but he _did_ remember, a long time ago. About two months after the surgery, in fact. She could have ended this then but no, she'd decided to keep it up. She'd chosen to hide Olwyn from Booth even though we made sure she knew how much he was suffering without her. He didn't know anything about the baby, but he still missed Bones and couldn't understand why she'd just left.

Now things are starting to unravel themselves, and she's going to start to lose control over her charade - mostly because of us - but I don't really regret that. I look at Booth and see a man who doesn't even know how much he's missing, and it makes me sick to know that that's partly my fault. I look at Olwyn Brennan and see a little girl who doesn't even realise that she has her father's warm brown eyes, and my heart sinks because I'm somewhat to blame for her not having what Avery has - her Daddy. I've sat back and let this continue for far too long, but my patience with Temperance Brennan is running thin. I don't feel angry at her personally, but she needs to get her act together or else we'll take control of this for her. I meant what I said - this simply isn't right.

"No, it's not right at all. They should be together, one big happy family. They could have been, too, if it weren't for the extenuating circumstances." She sighed. "Why did everything have to get so complicated?"

"Ha, if you ask me, things were pretty complicated before any of this happened. Booth and Brennan were messed up to begin with. Things didn't get complicated because of her snap decision - they got complicated because they had such a confused relationship already. I mean, they were practically dating, just without the whole physical or openly romantic aspect. They danced around their feelings or, what? Five years? They didn't know what they were to each other anymore, much less what they _wanted _to be. That's why the baby thing was so complex. If they were any two other people, she would have either been upfront about her feelings - as would he - ,told him she wanted his baby, no one else's, and would have dealt with the repercussions of such a confession. She wouldn't have tried to mask it all in logic, anyway. If they were any other couple, they'd be together right now, raising that little girl _together_."

"But they're not any other couple, Sweets. They're Booth and Brennan. Their quirks and faults and baggage are what make them so perfect for each other."

"They're also exactly what has always kept them apart, though. I can't see that changing overnight."

"But it's not an overnight change, remember. It's been two and a half years since they said two words to each other, and they've both changed in that time - maybe it won't be so long before they say a certain three, if you know what I mean." She smiled suggestively, and I did know exactly what she meant. It didn't mean I agreed though; Angela was an optimist, but I'd become much more realistic about Booth and Brennan recently. I know that it will happen sometime, but I can't see things being sped up by recent events.

"It's possible that it won't be two and a half years before one of them admits their feelings, but I wouldn't bank on it being before your honeymoon, either. I imagine they'll be sitting in my office several times before anything happens between them."

"Ha, I can see you trying to mediate some of that discussion. It won't be easy, Sweets."

"Of course it won't, and 'discussion' is a light-weight term for what's going to erupt between those two." I sighed. "Why are the friends the only ones who can ever see straight in a relationship? Why is it us who nearly always have to solve the problems? What did we ever do to deserve this?"

"It usually isn't, it's just with Booth and Brennan." She laughed. "They've been 'messed up' since the beginning, and we're the ones who suffer because of it."

"And they never listen to us, either. I mean, if Brennan hadn't decided she wanted a baby, I guarantee you that they'd still be at that same stalemate in their relationship right now, two and a half years later, no matter how many times I told Booth to go for it, or you told Brennan to see sense."

"They really don't know how lucky they are to have us." She laughed.

"Yeah, they know that about as well as they know how perfect they are for each other." I sighed, frustrated. "But they're going to have to face each other at the wedding, right? I mean, Booth said that he doesn't necessarily have to talk to either of them, but they're the Best Man and Maid of Honour - surely they'll have to talk to each other."

"Oh but of course - we've put them sitting beside each other." I smiled a little. Of course they had.

"Don't you think that might lead to unnecessary drama at your wedding, though?"

"Sweets, you weren't at our last wedding. Any drama between Booth and Brennan will be nothing compared to that."

"That would also be true." I smirked. I'd heard enough about their first attempt at getting married by now to appreciate this.

"And anyway, it'd hardly be unnecessary. Those two have a kid together, and they still haven't gotten to the stage of even acknowledging their feelings for one another. Drastic measures need to be taken, Sweets. I don't care if they nearly kill each other at that wedding , because it'll mean that at least they'll have spoken to each other. That's progress in my book." I nodded in agreement.

Before I could add anything to the conversation, however, there was a knock at the door. We both turned our heads to see Booth standing in the doorway. I could feel both of our heart skipping a beat, beads of perspiration erupting on my forehead. We both glanced at each other, both of our faces screaming the same thing: 'shit'.

"Can I come in?" He asked. There was nothing to his tone to suggest suspicion, anger, surprise, shock, or anything that would indicate that he'd overheard what Angela had just said. Maybe he hadn't. Maybe.

"Of course." Angela said, fear in her voice. Booth picked up on it, of course.

"You okay, Angela?" He asked, a little confused. If he hadn't heard what we'd just been talking about, I can imagine that this made him suspicious as to what the subject matter of our conversation had been.

She nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She smiled. "Did you...need anything?"

"Cam needs a sketch of the victim." He said, innocently. He knew nothing, it seemed.

"And she sent you...why?" I asked. It was now my turn to be a little confused.

"Because I didn't have anything better to be doing." Suddenly he sounded a bit irked with me. I wonder why. "What does it matter, Sweets?"

"It doesn't." I smirked. He shot me a glare as I stood up and left. Angela was already making her way down the corridor when he placed his hand on my shoulder from behind, a tad forcefully. I turned around.

"Listen, Sweets. I know what you were talking about with Angela." I froze. Once again all I could hear in my head was 'shit'.

"And that would be?" I asked, gingerly, bracing myself.

"Dr. Brennan and I. Why else would you be at the Jeffersonian when we don't even know who the victim is yet?" I nodded.

"Yeah, we were talking about the two of you." I sighed, here it comes.

"You shouldn't do that, Sweets. Me and Brennan, there's nothing there anymore. We're just two people who haven't spoken in a long time, no reason to. Old friends who lost touch, or whatever. Emphasis on _friends_. You two...you should get rid all those hopes you have of us ever...I dunno, doing whatever it is you want us to do. That thing you said earlier, it's not true anymore. Hell, I don't know if it ever was."

"All due respect, Booth, but that's a load of crap." Angela said from the doorway. Neither of us had noticed her walking back to her office. She'd probably noticed that we weren't following her out. Booth rarely spoke to her directly about Brennan, so I can't blame her for wanting in on our conversation. I shot her a look, saying 'shut up', but she either didn't notice or chose to ignore it. "You and I know well that the last time you and Dr. Brennan were 'just two people' to each other was when you first met, and it lasted for all of what? Ten minutes? You can tell yourself that there's nothing between the two of you as much as you like, but none of us are ever going to believe it, and neither are you."

"Angela, the only thing between myself and Dr. Brennan is the Atlantic Ocean." He looked at her, sincerely. There was a deep loneliness in those big brown eyes. I knew that he loved her, deep down, but he'd convinced himself so strongly otherwise that his eyes were the only part of him that still told the whole story. It was a story of a man so defeated by life that he'd given up any hope of ever finding happiness again. A man who felt so helpless to do anything about his heartache that he wouldn't allow himself to even see an opportunity to heal it anymore. A man who deserved so much better than what he let himself have, than what his crippling fear of opening up to more hurt again would ever let him have.

"That's not nothing." I pointed out.

"Yeah, it's a hell of a lot worse than nothing." Booth spat out. "And she put it between us. She wanted that to be all there was between us, so who am I to do anything about that?"

"You're that guy, Booth. That's who you are. You know that there's more than an ocean between you two. It's just...all the good stuff, it's at the bottom of the ocean, because the two of you let it sink there. But you're the guy who never stops dreaming about that day when you'll finally save it. At least, I hope you still are." She looked at him, sincerity mixed with genuine hope in her eyes. He avoided her gaze - was that shame I saw?

"Angela's right." I chipped in, when it appeared that Booth wasn't going to respond. "Sure, Brennan put up all these obstacles, but it's down to you to make her know that she means enough to you for you to fight your way past them. If you don't do that, then that ocean will become all there is between the two of you. You don't want that, and neither does she."

"It's not as simple as you seem to think, Sweets." Booth still had that bitter edge to his voice, but I couldn't be certain exactly whom his anger was directed at. Probably all of us, for different reasons.

"Booth, this is about as complicated as relationships get - we knew that before any of this ever happened. No one _ever_ thought this was simple." Angela was practically laughing at the idea of us ever thinking this was straightforward. Far from it. Of all the people involved, we saw the true complexity of the situation best - better than even Booth himself. He didn't know about the baby element of this problem, whereas we knew how that had twisted this story beyond belief. "And no one ever thought that fixing it would be easy, either. But you shouldn't let fear stop you from at least trying."

"Why should I? Why should I put myself through all that again when she'll just hang me out to dry anyway? What's there to gain from it?" I exchanged a look with Angela - her expression reflected what I was feeling too. We both wanted to tell him exactly how much there was to gain from going after her, but we couldn't. It had to be her, I told myself over and over again. But would she ever tell him if he didn't go for it first? And would he ever go for it if he didn't know? Angela couldn't have been more right - they were as complicated as it got.

"We can't answer that question, Booth," I said, "But you have to trust that it'll be worth it. Trust us, trust her, trust yourself."

There was a moment of silence, and for that moment I thought Booth might be contemplating what I'd said. It was him who finally broke it, but not quite as we'd have liked. He shook his head, making for the door.

"Look, I don't need to think about her today, okay? Not today, not once more before I absolutely have to. Surely you have better things to do with your free time than tormenting me."

"Tormenting?" Angela asked, slightly defensively.

"Trying to convince me that I can have what I can't. Giving me false hope. Whatever you want to call it. Just stop gossiping about my love life as if it actually exists." He shot me a glare once again. "I'm leaving now, and the next time we see each other, this conversation won't have happened, right?" We nodded. "Good."

And he left.

"Well, that went well." Angela said, deflated.

"It was better than I thought it would. 'That thing I said earlier', that was me saying that he loved her. The fact that he used a modifier like 'anymore' means that, at least on a subconscious level, he's starting to acknowledge to us that his feelings for her aren't non-existent. That's more than he's ever shown before, even if it seems negligible."

"I guess." Angela shrugged, as we both headed out the door. "All hell's going to break loose once he finds out the truth, though."

"I still can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing." I said, before we parted ways.

"It'll be something. Something's always better than nothing."

And she was right. I just hoped that Booth could see that.

**A/N **- Firstly, I'd like to apologise for the long delay between updates. School has been ridiculously busy lately (three weeks left until the Junior Cert...) and I've been working on this in little pieces for weeks now, trying to perfect it. I probably won't have Ch.4 up until the end of June, for the same reason, because my exams don't end until the 23rd, unfortunately. Just don't think that I've abandoned this, because I absolutely haven't! I have so many ideas for this, it's just a matter of finding time to get them written.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, anyway :) I promise there'll be more Brennan in the next one!


	4. These Things Take Time

**Chapter Four: These Things Take Time**

Seven hours after taking off from Dublin, I found myself walking down towards the arrivals hall of Washington Dulles International Airport for the first time in at least three years. One hand pulling my suitcase (and Olwyn's carseat) behind me, the other intertwined with my daughter's little fingers, I braced myself for the moment when Max saw Olwyn.

I'd made contact with my father for the first time in about three months the previous week, sending him an email to tell him – as I'm sure he'd already assumed – that I was coming to D.C. for the wedding. As I'd expected, he'd replied enthusiastically, and immediately offered to pick me up at the airport. I'd never told him about Olwyn, never thinking it was appropriate to break the news that he was a grandfather (and explain how she came to be in the first place, which he'd inevitably ask) over the Internet. I didn't want to give him a reason to come and visit, either.

I'd explained the concept of a grandfather to Olwyn on the long plane journey over, and she was understandably excited to meet hers now. She pointed to every man we passed from that moment on and asked me 'that him?', to which I had to tell her 'no' every time. It was hard to see even that flicker of disappointment on her little face each time, but I rationalised that it was necessary if I wasn't going to lie to her.

It was worth it when she eventually picked out the right man from the crowd, her face lighting up, her grip on my hand loosening. Of course, she ran over at full speed to hug him. Max seemed completely confused, but played along with it and lifted her up into one of the biggest hugs she must have ever received.

"Hey Grandpa!" Olwyn said, her eyes brighter than one would expect from a child as tired as she had been ten minutes previously. It made me wonder how she'd react to seeing her father for the first time. '_No,'_ I told myself, _'don't even go there. You're tired. No decisions to do anything that big should be made when you're tired.'_ I shook myself back to reality as I caught up to my daughter and father, the latter of whom shot me a confused look. I simply mouthed the word 'later', and he nodded.

"Hey sweetie." He said, in that voice he reserved solely for talking to children. I remember when he used to talk to me like that. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad thing after all.

"Grandpa, I drewed this for you." She said, pride filling her voice. It was a picture she'd drawn on the plane of herself and Max holding hands - even though she'd had no idea what he looked like. A wide smile spread across Max's face as she handed it to him.

"Thank you very much, Olwyn." I'd made sure she'd put her name on the picture in case she gave it to him before I could subtly tell him it myself. I didn't want it to look like he didn't know who she was; knowing Olwyn, she'd have definitely picked up on that. He lifted her up as we started to head towards the exit. "It's good to see you, Tempe." He said to me, a smirk upon his face. I couldn't work out why.

"You too, Dad." I smiled. This was going smoother than I'd imagined it would. Then again, he was probably keeping up an act for Olwyn's sake. I appreciated that, but I felt like we were also delaying the inevitable.

Olwyn chatted to my Dad until we reached the car, at which point it seemed as though she was running out of steam. She was, unfortunately, fast asleep about ten minutes after we left the airport. The facade was very quickly dropped as soon as Max realised this.

"So I guess he really wasn't gay, after all." He said, turning around from making sure Olwyn wasn't going to wake up. I was confused.

"What? I'm not following, Max." I really wasn't.

"Seeley Booth. I guess he wasn't gay, after all." He gestured towards my sleeping daughter in the back of the car.

"Okay, firstly I'd prefer if we didn't discuss homosexuality in the presence of my two year old, and secondly I still don't know what the relevance of that statement is."

"When I started working at the Jeffersonian, I accused Booth of being gay because he wasn't sleeping with you. He's clearly proven me wrong."

"Okay, I'm going to let the first part of that go, because I don't want to even think about you discussing that with Booth, and ask you again what the relevance of that is." I really didn't want to think about Max having assumed Booth was gay because he wasn't sleeping with me. Max discussing my sex life was something I really didn't need to know about - I can handle most things, but like every woman on earth, that still makes me uncomfortable.

He gestured towards my sleeping daughter.

"I was wrong about the two of you sleeping together." He smirked.

"No Max, Booth and I never slept together." That _was_ true, after all.

"Tempe, she's a miniature Booth. You can't deny that he's her father." His tone became more serious. I nodded a little.

"Yes... she is his daughter, but we still never slept together, Dad."

"Okay, now I'm confused. Again." It was understandable, but I was reluctant to explain it to him. "Care to elaborate?" I sighed. _Here it goes._

"Look, I wanted a baby, I asked Booth for his sperm, he gave it to me, I got pregnant, then he told me he didn't want me to do it unless he could be a part of the baby's life, then he got sick, forgot everything and I left." I said all of this very quickly, having been dreading this moment for a long time. Max took a few seconds to take it in. He nodded slowly.

"Huh." He said simply. "Well I wasn't expecting that explanation."

"No one ever is."

"And I'm assuming that he doesn't know about her." I nodded. "He's not going to like this, Tempe."

"I know." I sighed. "I would have told him already if I thought that he'd take it well."

"But you have to tell him. He has a right to know, whether he likes it or not."

"I know, Max. I haven't seen him in nearly three years, though. I'm not just going to land him with this bombshell before making sure he's in the right state of mind to take it in."

"Well he's certainly _not_ in the right state of mind." He said flatly. "The man has been depressed since the moment you left. You've got some making up to do, honey, and you better do it fast. If you don't tell him before the end of this visit, I can guarantee you now that he'll find out from someone else, if you know what I'm saying."

"Max, don't you even think about telling him. She's my child, and this is my job. I'll tell him when I'm ready. You know about Olwyn now, and you know that she's Booth's. I don't want to talk about this anymore, okay?"

"Fine, but I meant what I said. You've had nearly three years to tell him, so excuse me if I think you need to be hurried a little. She may be your child, but she's also his. And she's my grandchild too. This isn't just about you, that's what being part of a family is all about."

"Sorry if I find that difficult to recall." I said bitterly, reminding him of how long I spent without my family.

"Don't go there, Tempe. You brought this one upon yourself, so don't go blaming me and your Mom. We didn't choose to leave you and Russ, and you know that. You deliberately took that child from her father because you didn't want him to to be a part of her life."

"Well when you put it like that, who isn't going to side with Booth?"

"It doesn't matter how you put it, it'll never look good for you. You have to tell him."

"End of discussion, Max." I said, forcefully. I really didn't want to have to face the idea of telling Booth about Olwyn, despite the fact that I knew it was coming.

The two of us were silent until we reached my apartment, which I'd kept in case I ever had to visit DC. Max had to leave, saying something about an appointment, so I carried Olwyn and my suitcase up to the apartment alone. As I walked into it, I felt as if I was stepping back in time. Nothing about it had changed at all - I'd decided to completely start from scratch in Dublin, taking only my dearest keepsakes along with me. It was a bit dusty, of course, and the whole place needed airing-out, but it was still home.

"Mommy, where we?" Olwyn asked sleepily, stirring as I carried her inside.

"This is my old apartment, Olwyn." I said, placing her on my old bed. She yawned.

"Okay." Normally she'd be more curious, but she was exhausted. She was out like a light within a few minutes. Not feeling quite up to unpacking, I lay down next to her, running my fingers through her chocolate-coloured curls. She was the most precious thing in my life. and I didn't know what I'd do without her. She was perfect, with her infectious giggle and her incredible intelligence, her adorable dimples and of course, her warm brown eyes. They were shut now, but they were still there, one of the many things about her that screamed of Booth. I knew that I couldn't keep this up for much longer. I thought about how happy she made me feel, and it sickened me that with every second that passed, he lost another second of this feeling.

But I was scared. Max was right - he wasn't going to like this when I told him. He'd love Olwyn of course, but I was afraid that he'd never forgive me. One of the reasons I'd moved in the first place was to make sure we didn't complicate our relationship, put it in jeopardy, but of course I'd only realised recently that I'd done exactly what I'd been trying to avoid. How could you leave someone in their hour of need, move to a different continent, taking their child with them, and not do so? I needed to reconcile with him first - I didn't know how easy that was going to be, but it had to happen before he knew what I'd done.

I soon fell fast asleep, with my daughter - our daughter - in my arms, knowing exactly what I had to do.

**A/N** - This was shorter than normal, but instead of merging it with the next chapter, I decided to just publish it as it is so the gap between updates was bridged slightly ^_^ It's kind of a filler, but I couldn't just start the next chapter without it, either - and the next one is pretty major indeed...

Reviews may speed up the writing process...just to let you know ;)


	5. Hanging By A Moment

**A/N** - [Brennan's thoughts] & [_Booth's thoughts_]

**Chapter Five: Hanging By A Moment**

The following morning I awoke with a start, for no reason in particular. I found myself in exactly the same position as when I'd fallen asleep eleven hours previously with Olwyn curled up in my arms. Not wanting her to fall into a bad sleeping pattern, I woke her up.

"Olwyn? It's time to wake up, honey." I said softly.

"Tired." She said groggily, her little fists rubbing her sleepy eyes.

"I know you are, but we have to get up now."

"No wanna." She protested, pulling more of the duvet onto herself.

"Oh well, I guess you'll just have to miss out on pancakes, then." I said, getting up out of the bed. She shot up.

"Pancakes?" Her eyes lit up once again.

"We don't have any food in the house, so I thought you might like to go out for pancakes, but if you're too tired..." She hopped out of bed and ran over.

"No, no Mommy, no tired. Pancakes!" She said enthusiastically. It worked like a charm every time.

"Okay, well let's get you dressed and ready first." I smiled. If there was one thing that Olwyn loved, it was pancakes. While I had attempted to make them on several occasions, she had always preferred it when we went out for them. She was so excited for breakfast that, like she had when I'd told her we were going to get our dresses for the wedding, she rushed me through every aspect of getting ready. It was times like these, when I could see so much of Booth in her, that I knew I had to do the right thing. It was just a matter of when, at this stage.

Before long we were walking, hand in hand, down the sidewalk towards the Royal Diner. I knew it was only a matter of time before I brought Olwyn to myself and her father's favourite haunt. Walking through that door brought back a flood of memories, and I felt my stomach leaping for a moment. Olwyn was blissfully oblivious - to her, this was just some place where she could get pancakes. To me, it was much more. We were, of course, seated at the table that Booth and I had always shared. I remembered the time that he'd given me the Brainy Smurf that still resided on my bedside locker, the time that I'd given himself and Parker the keys to my swimming pool - I doubted they still used it - and the time that we'd accidentally let it slip to Sweets that we'd kissed. I missed those times when we could just go out for breakfast together, talk together, laugh together, and pretend that it didn't mean anything. I had a feeling that I'd never get those days back again.

Our pancakes had only been in front of us for all of a minute when, for some inexplicable reason, I looked up to see a familiar figure frozen just inside the door. His gaze was fixed upon me, and as soon as I looked up, our eyes met and for a moment time stood still.

_For a moment, nothing felt real. Our eyes locked, and suddenly the world around me fell away into the distance. It was as if nothing had ever changed. At first glance, who'd have thought things had ever been any different? She was sitting in the same seat where she'd always sat, a cup of coffee in her hand, her baby blue eyes sparkling as they always did, her perfect brown hair falling in soft brown curls to frame her delicate face. She was as beautiful as she ever had been._

_But upon further inspection, there was no doubt that this was not quite the woman I knew. I didn't have to say a word to her to be certain of that. As soon as our eyes met, her smile faded, being replaced by an expression of shock and panic, which I'm sure reflected my own. I stepped forward gingerly, one foot following the other, pulling on me as if some strange magnetism had suddenly taken hold of me. _

_A million thoughts flooded my mind, but only one screamed loud enough for me to be able to hear it amongst the rest. It was the fact that, although she was sitting where always had, someone else was occupying _my_ place. Someone significantly smaller and more adorable than I. Someone she loved. I'd known that Olwyn Brennan existed for weeks now, but that didn't make it any easier for me to see her there, calling the woman who'd __supposedly __never wanted children 'Mommy' as if it was the most natural thing in the world. For her, it was. That was what scared me the most._

For a moment, I could hardly believe my eyes. I had spent so long with only fading memories of him to hold onto that I was unable to comprehend the fact that it was really him, there, in the flesh - Special Agent Seeley Booth. In that moment, I fell back in time, back to when life was complicated but still somehow made sense to me. It was as if we were meeting at the Diner like we always had, to talk about a case or a personal dilemma. How I wished that playful bickering would be the extent of our conflict today.

But that moment, like so many others, passed in a skipped heartbeat. I suddenly found myself crashing back to the present, with my daughter sitting opposite me - once again oblivious to my turmoil - and the man who didn't know she existed, let alone the fact that he was her father, approaching our table. I felt like running, escaping it all, but I knew from experience that that was never a long-term solution. I'd ran before, and now he had finally caught up on me, just like I knew he always would.

He looked tired and defeated. The sparkle I was so accustomed to seeing in his eyes was absent. His face was one that looked like it hadn't been graced by a true smile in a long time. His tie was black, his 'Cocky' belt buckle was missing and I'm sure, if one were to have checked, his socks would have been a dull shade of grey or black, too. This wasn't the man I knew, and what hurt the most was the fact that it was me who'd caused him to change. I didn't like to think that I could have so much responsibility for another person's happiness, unless that person was Olwyn. It had never felt that way before, but as I had realised as Angela regaled me with stories of Booth's increasing 'depression', little by little pieces of him had become pieces of me. When I'd left, I'd taken them with me, just as I'd left large chunks of myself in his possession.

_As I took the final steps to the table, I felt my heartbeat quickening, the moment I'd been waiting for, but had been certain would never come, finally arriving. All those words I'd wanted to say to her, to scream at her, left me, while her expression exhibited a similar speechlessness. _

He was drawing closer and closer, and I couldn't think of what to say to him. I'd spent three years trying not to think about the possibility (or, rather, the inevitability) of this moment, this conversation, trying to convince myself that there was no need to think of what I'd want to tell him.

_I took a deep breath, and decided to be the one to break the silence, which was nearing three years in length._

"Hi." _I managed to utter. It didn't seem like enough. _

He broke the silence with one word. One word more than I'd heard him say in nearly three years. Even his voice sounded somehow different.

"Hi." I said, and it sounded feeble. I wanted to say so much more to him, but I couldn't find the strength.

"Hi!" Olwyn decided to include herself in our exchange, a brightness in her eyes and voice that neither I nor her father could quite manage to muster. It was as if she wanted to alert him to her presence, too. I wish she hadn't.

_Olwyn, not surprisingly, decided to greet me too. Her big brown eyes looked up at me with a dazzling curiosity that only a child's could. She was innocent, unscathed by the trauma of love. _

_Love. I found myself using that word more and more often recently when I thought about Temperance Brennan. It was a word with a double meaning for me. On the one hand, it filled me with butterflies that lifted me to a higher place whenever I thought of her. On the other hand, however, it...well, to call it traumatic would be putting what I felt very lightly indeed._

_I felt as if it was now my turn to speak, but I was still stuck for words. Breaking that silence didn't make anything any easier, as I'd hoped it would._

_Thankfully, someone else said something before I could._

"You sit 'side me." _Olwyn smiled up at me. I liked how she'd assumed I was a friend, someone who would be welcome to join them. I looked at Brennan, who nodded weakly, and I sat down beside her daughter._

I was powerless to stop Olwyn inviting her father to sit down beside her. My heart broke to see the two of them side by side, the familial resemblance too close to deny. There wasn't as much confusion apparent on Booth's face as I'd expected - was he not surprised to see that I had a child?

While the two of us were embroiled in a deafening silence, neither one too sure of what to say, Olwyn continued on talking.

"What your name?"

"I'm Booth." _She giggled_. "Oh, is that funny now?" _She nodded, a goofy little grin on her perfect little face. I recognised that smile, but I wasn't quite sure where from. Probably __whoever her father was__._

"A boot' is a seat!" _She laughed, not quite able to get the 'th' sound at the end of my name. It was pretty adorable, I must admit__._

"Don't be rude, Olwyn." _Brennan half-scolded her daughter. My attention turned to her._

"She's not being rude, she's right." _I shot Brennan a slight glare and turned back to Olwyn._ "My name _is_ like a seat. You have a much prettier name than me."

There was a playful quality to his tone, unsurprisingly. He had always been good with children, and despite the confusion I assumed he was experiencing, he managed to engage well with Olwyn. For a moment, the thought crossed my mind that maybe he already knew about her, that he'd been expecting to see her. No, he couldn't possibly know he had a daughter - he would have definitely contacted me as soon as he found out to demand he see her. Booth was fiercely protective of his family - he knew the value of those connections. He wouldn't have been able to spend another second without her knowing exactly what she meant to him.

It was hard to look at her smiling up at him like that. Neither of them could understand the pain I was feeling at that moment. I wasn't sure whether or not I was ready to let them just yet.

"You friend with Mommy?" She asked curiously. Booth looked uneasy.

"We worked together a long time ago." _I answered, a little unsure of how to respond._

"Not that long." I corrected. He looked up at me again.

"Longer than you'd think." He said, bitterly. "It was before you were born, Olwyn."

"Okay." She nodded, satisfied. "Mommy, you no talk so much. You talk to Boot'." Olwyn gave me that bossy little look I was so used to seeing. Booth smirked slightly, though still clearly uncomfortable with the idea of talking directly to me. I couldn't blame him. I felt exactly the same.

"Thank you for telling me what to do, Olwyn." I sighed. Sometimes my daughter was a bit too much like me. "So...how have you been?" I asked him, gingerly.

"Okay, I guess." He said simply, a faint sign of loneliness in his voice.

"You guess?"

"Yeah, 'I guess'. Got a problem with that?" He was on edge, just as I was. His edge was angrier than mine, however. He had a right to be bitter.

"No, but I was wondering what the source of your uncertainty was. Did something - other than the obvious - happen?" I tried to sound as genuinely caring as I really was. I couldn't be sure that he'd see that.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, Brennan." And that's where my heart was crushed. Booth never called me 'Brennan' - I was always 'Bones' to him. I felt the inexplicable urge to cry, something that seldom happened to me, though when it did it was always because of Booth.

"You're right. It's none of my business." _She looked down. She seemed ashamed. I could understand why. At the same time, however, I knew that if I continued to push her away, she would eventually just run again. I was upset, angry, confused, but I still loved her. I couldn't admit that to anyone - only recently had I managed to admit it to myself -, but I'd always known. I needed to go a little softer on her, or else I could potentially lose her again. As angry as I was with her now, I knew that those feelings would eventually pass._

"So how have _you_ been?" _I asked, a softer touch to my voice._

"I've been well." _She nodded._

"You like Dublin?"

"Yes, very much. It's a very nice place to live." _She seemed to be softening a bit too, the enthusiasm I knew was returning to her eyes, slowly. _"We live in a harbour town, and there's just the most beautiful views from our apartment."

"It's not D.C., though." _I needed to know that she missed home. Even just a little._

"No," _she shook her head_, "it isn't. I do miss it here."

"Well D.C. isn't really all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes I wish I could escape, too." _She looked into my eyes._

"Why can't you?"

"There's too much tying me to the place, Brennan." There he went again, calling me 'Brennan'. It stung.

"I thought that too, but then I was still able to leave."

"Yeah, but you went with the whole 'sever the connections with no regard for the implications' approach. I couldn't do that." _I couldn't resist snapping at her like that. I couldn't wait until we had some privacy and I could talk straight to her. There, however, I was limited to conversation __that was __appropriate both in front of a two year old and in the middle of a diner. _

_Silence descended between the two of us again, only to be broken once more by Olwyn._

"Mommy, my pancakes all gone!" She said, proudly. No surprises there. I, on the other hand, suddenly didn't feel like eating any more.

"Well done, sweetie." She feigned a proud smile for her benefit. "We can go, then."

"But you no finish, Mommy." Olwyn said, slightly confused.

"I'm not hungry anymore, Ol." _She said, standing up. _

"Well, I don't think we're finished here either." Booth added.

"We have to get to the Jeffersonian, Booth. I said I'd meet Angela there at ten, and it's a quarter to now." _She protested__. Of course she wanted to avoid what was coming. Well, now that she was within an arm's reach of me, there was no way I was going to let her escape again. I knew I deserved better than that._

"Well, as it happens, that's exactly where I'm heading now. I could give the two of you a ride over, if you want." Dammit. I nodded, reluctantly.

"Fine, we'll go with you. I don't have a car, anyway." _Success. There were several parts of the Jeffersonian where we could have a proper conversation - I could see Angela being eager for this to happen, too. _

He lifted up Olwyn who, to my surprise, didn't protest. Usually she liked to walk by herself, and never let me carry her. It was worrying me how well she seemed to be taking to him, as if deep down she somehow knew he was more than just some random stranger to her. I looked at the two of them together, and for a moment, I saw what could have been, if I hadn't been so stupid.

I hadn't wanted it then, but now I longed for it more than anything. I longed for it, but I was also terrified by it, and what it would take to get there, too. He was going to hate me before he could love me, if that could ever happen. But I knew I had to tell him, because I'd never seen a smile so bright upon my daughter's face before. They deserved to know the truth, even if it was going to hurt.

**A/N** - I hope you all enjoyed that one :D If you didn't, well rest assured that even bigger things are coming in the next few chapters (especially the next one).


	6. Silence Is Easy

**Chapter 6 - Silence Is Easy**

The car ride over would have been tense but for the constant ramblings of Olwyn from the backseat. Booth was quite amused by her chattiness, it appeared, and talked to her the whole way there. I didn't engage too much, too distracted by the the fact that I had to tell Booth about Olwyn's parentage in the very near future. I kept imagining how it would play out, and every scenario seemed to end badly. The more I thought about it, the less and less likely it seemed that he would ever be able to forgive me. That said, he didn't seem to very pleased with me as it stood, so how much did I really have to lose?

_I couldn't help but grin as Olwyn regaled me with the ins and outs of the Teletubbies, as if they were some alien concept to me. She was a fascinating child, and the only person I'd ever come across like her before was her mother. The way she talked, even at just two years old, was scarily like how Brennan had always spoken about things she was passionate about. I had no doubt that she would grow up to be just like her mom, though I hoped that she might be a little less cold, a little better at human interactions, at expressing her feelings._

Words can't describe the look on Angela's face when I walked through the sliding doors of the Jeffersonian with Booth by my side and Olwyn still in his arms. She looked like all her Christmases had come at once - if only she knew the truth of the situation. She probably thought we'd all made up and Booth knew the truth and we were somehow all miraculously happy together. She couldn't have been more wrong.

"Brennan!" She practically squealed when she saw me, running as fast as she could to embrace me.

"Hey Angela." I smiled. "It's good to see you too."

"And Booth?" She asked half-suspiciously, half-delightedly. "I can't believe the two of you are here, together. I think I may just have a heart attack."

"That not good." _Olwyn looked suddenly concerned. Only Temperance Brennan's two year old could know what a heart attack was._

"Don't worry, Bug, I'm only joking." Angela laughed. Angela just adored Olwyn, whom she affectionately called 'Bug' for reasons of which I wasn't quite sure, almost as much as she loved Genevieve and Noah. She was like the aunt that Olwyn didn't have, doting on her even though she'd only met her a handful of times. That was one of the things that often tempted me to move home - in Dublin it was really just Olwyn and me. I had a few acquaintances, a couple you could call 'friends', I suppose, at UCD, but for the most part it was just us. It would be nice to raise Olwyn with such a loving 'family' around her, but I wasn't ready to move back just yet. However, something told me I wasn't going to have much of a choice soon.

"We're not together, Ange." I quickly corrected her. "We ran into Booth at the Diner and then he gave us a ride over here."

"Whatever you say, Brennan." Angela smirked.

"We do need to talk though." Booth said, that edge never having left his voice.

"Well I need to speak to Angela about the wedding first. It's in three days, after all." _She sounded like she was beginning to panic. She didn't want me to confront her about her leaving me. She couldn't keep running, though. How could she not see that by now?_

"Sweetie, I think whatever we were gonna talk about can wait. Don't you think this might be slightly more important?" Dammit Angela, why do you always have to side with Booth?

"But who'll look after Olwyn?" I asked, in a last-ditch, futile attempt to avoid the conversation.

"I'll take her, Bren. You guys can go to my office, and myself and Olwyn can go for a nice little walk. How does that sound, Bug?" _Good old Angela, knowing what was important. I'd have to thank her later._

"Sound good, Auntie Angela!" Olwyn giggled, as Booth put her down. She ran over to take Angela's hand and led the way back through the sliding doors. "Let go! See you later Mommy and Boot'!" _She waved back. She knew her own mind, that was for sure. She was so much like Brennan it almost scared me. I never thought I'd see the day when Brennan would have a child; I was still adjusting to the fact that Olwyn existed. She'd accepted me so quickly - I wondered how long it would be before I could accept her Mom back into my life._

"Well, let's go, then." Booth said, turning to me. I bit my lip, not quite sure that I was ready to do this. Then I shook myself, reminding myself what was at stake. I needed to be brave, because I knew this was going to hurt, but it needed to be done.

"Okay." I nodded, leading the way to Angela's office. I was hoping Cam or Hodgins or Daisy would spot us, but to no avail. We made it inside without a single interruption. Once behind closed doors, the act was dropped. Neither of us needed to pretend anymore, it was just us. I could be honest with him, if I really wanted to. And I did. I liked the _idea_ of telling him the truth. Actually doing it, however, was a different story altogether.

_There was so much I wanted to say to her, so much that I wasn't sure what to say first. Should I start by asking her about Olwyn? Why she left? What I did wrong? Why she never told me she was pregnant? Why she thought I couldn't help her? Why she never called? Why she made everyone keep so many secrets? I wanted to ask all these questions at once, to get them out of my system, but I knew this was not possible. _

I waited for him to say something - he was the man with all the questions, after all. I knew everything I needed to know about his life - I was the one holding all the secrets.

_There was a tense silence between the two of us. It was easier for us to say nothing, but this wasn't meant to be easy for either of us - especially her. She was supposed to suffer, it was only fair. Wait, what the hell was I saying? This anger was consuming me. I loved her, didn't I? How could I be consciously willing someone I loved to suffer? God help me, this woman was driving me crazy._

"Are we going to talk or not?" I eventually decided to break the silence. Saying nothing was just passively delaying the inevitable, anyway.

"I dunno, Brennan. Are we? Because it doesn't seem as if I have all that much to say, relatively speaking." _It was true. She was the one with all the answers. That said, you can't answer a question before it's asked._

"Well what do you want to know? I don't even know where to begin." I sighed, sitting down on the sofa. I was hoping he'd join me there. He didn't. He stood against the opposite wall, looking at his feet. Was it really that difficult for him to look into my eyes?

"Well maybe start at the beginning, with why you decided to leave it the first place."

"Booth, there are so many reasons why I left. It wasn't just one, and it wasn't just you."

"Well I'm in no hurry." He looked up at me. "I've waited nearly three years to hear this - I wasn't waiting for half-truths. I want to hear everything."

"Well firstly I was offered the job in Dublin. That was in early February, about a month before I left. I didn't actually accept until a week or so before going, but the offer was always there."

"Was I the only one who didn't know about that?" Booth seemed hurt by the possibility. If he thought not being told about a job offer was bad, he hadn't a clue.

"No, I didn't tell anyone until I made the decision to leave." _Damn Temperance and her secrecy._

"You made that decision alone?" He sounded a little angry at this.

"Yes, but it was in combination with a lot of other factors, which I'll explain if you let me." He nodded.

"Okay. Go on."

"Well then there was your illness. I was scared, Booth. You didn't know who I was, you looked into my eyes and told me you hadn't seen me before in your life. That was really hard to cope with. I felt as if I'd lost you, along with everyone else I've ever lo-...cared about." I was careful not to use the 'L' word. I didn't want to scare him away.

"But then I remembered. You didn't come back when I asked for you. I missed you like hell and I know you knew that. You didn't care." He was looking directly into my eyes now. The anger was coming, I could tell.

"You couldn't possibly know that I didn't care, Booth! Do you think I didn't miss you too?" _In fairness, I didn't think it was possible that she didn't miss me at least a little. Even if I didn't mean anything near as much to her as she did to me, you can't just leave someone you're so close to and not miss them at all._

"Well you certainly didn't let me know! How do you think it feels just to be left by your partner, one of your closest friends, and have her say absolutely nothing about it?" His voice was raised slightly. He didn't seem to care. "And not just that, but for her to actively hide something as huge as a kid from you? Brennan, that really hurt. When I found out about Olwyn, I wanted to kill you."

"When you found out?" I asked, confusedly. Had he known about her already? No, he couldn't have. Not the whole truth, anyway.

"Yeah, I've known about her for about a month." _She still looked confused. _"Really? You thought I wouldn't find out when you dedicated your book to her?"

"Well I didn't expect that you'd be reading it, all things considered."

"Well I did, and I found out that you had a two year old daughter, a little girl you went well out of your way to hide from me. I just don't get why you would do that."

"I don't know why I didn't tell you, Booth. I'm stupid, okay? I thought I was protecting you, but I clearly wasn't."

"Protecting me from what? Olwyn is the most perfect little girl I've ever come across." His tone was softening slightly. "She's beautiful and smart; how could it possibly hurt me to know about her?" _I moved a little closer to her, trying to be a bit softer with her. _"Did you not want me to know about her Dad?"

"What?" _Okay, surely she knew the basics of human reproduction. She had to have been intimate with another guy, and as much as it hurt me to think about that, there was no question of its necessity._

"Yeah, her Dad. You know, the guy you slept with to make her. Well, I mean, not with that in mind, but like, it happened anyway." Oh Booth, ever so eloquent and tactful.

"Well, it didn't happen quite like that, Booth." _She looked down, biting her lip once more. She seemed to be ashamed of this in particular - did that mean what I thought it meant? I sat down beside her. I knew that if something terrible had happened, she would only open up to me if I was gentle with her. My anger could have been misplaced - I wouldn't know until I let her explain herself properly._

"Brennan, if there's something you need to tell me, you know you can." _She looked at me, her eyes glazing slightly. I placed my hand on hers. _ "If Olwyn's father did something to you, you shouldn't be ashamed." _Her expression became suddenly confused, and she quickly removed her hand from under mine._

"No, Booth. He didn't do anything to me. Olwyn's father was just the sweetest guy I knew. He wouldn't have dreamt of hurting me." _She was choking up a little. _

"You don't have to protect him, you know. You don't have to lie for him."

"I'm not lying. I'm the liar in that relationship. He doesn't know about her." _No. She couldn't have kept Olwyn from her father. Why the hell would she do that to him or their daughter? She must have had a reason._

"Why didn't you tell him? Were you running from him, when you moved?" I couldn't believe I was having this conversation with him.

"A little, Booth. I was sort of running from him."

"What did he do to you to make you want to run, then?" There was genuine concern in his eyes, in his voice.

"He didn't do anything to me. He did everything right. I'm just a horrible person." _There were tears welling up in her eyes._

"No you're not, Brennan. Sure, you haven't exactly made the best choices the last couple of years, but that doesn't make you a horrible person."

"You don't know the half of it, Booth. You're going to absolutely hate me."

"Temperance, I don't hate you." He looked deep into my eyes. I melted at the sight of that shade of brown. Even if Olwyn had his eyes, there was definitely something unique

"You don't hate me _now_. But you will" I sighed, choking a little on the tears I was fighting back.

"You know I could never hate you. All this time I've just been angry and frustrated with you because you blocked me out of your life, but I never hated you for it. I mean, I came close, but you can't hate _and_ love someone at the same time." _Shit. Had I really just said that? Her eyes became wide with shock. She could believe it about as well as I could._

What had he just said? Had he just...no, he hadn't. Had he? It wasn't possible. He probably meant it in a professional way, right? He couldn't have meant it in a romantic way. No, he couldn't have. Booth...he never saw me like that. How could he ever? Not after everything I'd done.

"Brennan-"

"Don't worry, I know you didn't mean that. Just a Freudian slip. I get it." _She nodded, avoiding my eyes. She seemed eager to move away from the topic. I went with that - I didn't need to make this even more uncomfortable than it already was. _"Anyway, I know you're going to hate me when I tell you what I did to Olwyn's father."

"What happened?" There was an innocence, a naïveté in his eyes. I took a deep breath, bracing myself.

"He gave me his sperm to have a baby, because I asked, and I got pregnant, but then before I could tell him, he told me he didn't want me to go through with it. I can't believe, in hindsight, that I didn't see it coming. Who in their right mind would let his friend just have his child and agree to watch her raise it without being allowed to be a part of their life? Without being able to be that child's father? How could I have expected him to even consider going through with it?" _Tears were streaming down her cheeks. _"I was a horrible, horrible person, Booth. I never told him that I was pregnant with his baby and then I left without even saying goodbye. He still doesn't know about her. He's going to hate me for it."

"I don't get it, Brennan. Why would you ask for this guy's sperm?" _That just seemed plain out of character for her._

"I realised that I wanted a child - his child - but I didn't want to commit to a relationship with him, even though I think I may have loved him. I thought, as I think I still think, that all my romantic relationships were doomed. I didn't want to ruin what we already had. I was confused and I, well you know how terrible I am at trying to convey my feelings. So I asked him if he'd be a sperm donor." _She thinks she may have loved this guy? How the hell could I have missed this? I didn't remember Brennan getting close to any men in the months before Olwyn must have been conceived. Was my tumour-frazzled mind once again playing tricks on me?_

"And he just let you take his sperm, just like that?" _This didn't make sense._

"Yes, but then he realised too late that he'd made a mistake. We'd both made a mistake. Olwyn shouldn't have been made that way. I decided not to tell him that I'd been inseminated and I took the job in Dublin. My pregnancy was confirmed a couple of weeks later, but I could never bring myself to tell him."

"But wouldn't this guy have thought it was weird that you just up and left? I mean, don't you think he would have put two and two together?" _Surely they knew each other well enough that he'd have found out about Olwyn by now. He'd have to have been an idiot not to have figured it out._

"He doesn't remember any of this ever happening. He...he got really sick and lost his memory. I still don't think he remembers." _She said quietly through her tears, looking up at me. It was then that realisation hit me. I backed away from her slightly, not quite able to believe what I thought she'd just said. She saw it in my eyes, she knew exactly what I was thinking._

"No, Brennan, you're not saying that she's...no. That...she can't." _I shook my head, not wanting to believe it. No, Olwyn couldn't be _my _child. I wouldn't have let her, would I? Brennan couldn't have kept her from me for two years of her life. She wasn't that selfish, or at least I thought she wasn't, until she nodded feebly, confirming my fears. _"NO!" _I shouted, rage filling my insides as I started to properly take in what she was saying - or what she wasn't. I stood up, unable to contain myself. _"You...you look me in the eyes right now and you tell me that I'm not Olwyn's father!" _She was silent but for her tears._ "ANSWER ME, BRENNAN!"

"I can't...I can't give you the answer you want, Booth."

He was shaking with rage - I'd never seen him so angry before. It was as if a dam was bursting inside of him. I bet he really hated me now.

"So you're telling me that you gave birth to _my _child, you named her, you gave her a home and you raised her for two years without even a word? You let my daughter get to two years of age without knowing who her Dad was? You let me go all this time without even knowing that I'd become a father again? That there was a little girl growing up half-way around the world who was half me? When all this time you could have easily told me? What kind of monster are you?" His voice was louder than I'd ever heard him use with me before. Much louder. I was scared of him, for the first time in my life. I felt the tears I'd fought so hard flowing down my cheeks, crying more than I'd ever cried for him before - and believe me, I've shed more tears than you can imagine for Seeley Booth. I hated myself. He turned away from me for a moment. He shot me the filthiest look I'd ever seen him give me. "I have absolutely nothing to say to you." And without a moment wasted, he stormed out of the office.

_I couldn't believe this. There I was, doting on little Olwyn Brennan, thinking her Mom was the luckiest woman in the world to have such a perfect little girl, when in fact I was meeting my own daughter for the first time. She was my child. Me and Brennan, no matter how convoluted the means, had made her together. Sure, I'd forgotten ever giving Brennan my stuff to make a kid, but there was clearly a lot I still didn't remember yet. That didn't mean she wasn't mine as much as she was Brennan's. I thought things had been bad when Rebecca took Parker to Chicago - at least I still saw him on holidays and every couple of weekends, when it was possible. At least we still called each other every other night. At least he knew I loved him more than anything else in the world. Olwyn didn't get any of that, and neither did I. Until this morning, we barely knew anything about each other - she didn't even know what I was to her. She still didn't. I doubted she even understood what it meant to have a Daddy - how could she?_

_It was at that moment that I saw Angela and Olwyn walking back up the hall, and I was overcome with this indescribable feeling of love for my little girl. She smiled when she saw me, as if she somehow sensed how I felt, and ran to meet me. I lifted her up into a hug, holding her close, never wanting to let her go. She was mine, and I can't tell you what that meant to me. She giggled as she threw her arms around my neck, though not quite understanding why I was acting so oddly. She'd barely known me a couple of hours, and yet she had no problem embracing me like this. It was as if, if it were possible, she already knew that I was so much more than a stranger to her._

_I turned around to _see_ Brennan coming out of Angela's office, tears flowing even freer as she saw me holding Olwyn. She was frozen. Angela seemed to understand immediately what was going on, but she said nothing._

"Brennan, don't you even think of taking her from me again." _I warned her, holding Olwyn close, her head nestled against the crook of my neck. She fit in my arms perfectly, as if this was where she had always belonged. _"You have absolutely no right." _She shook her head._

"I know." _She said quietly. I began to walk down the hall with her in my arms. _"Where do you think you're going?" _She called after me._

"What, you get two years on another continent with my child and I can't have a few hours with her? You didn't exactly ask my permission when you took her from me."

"Booth, don't do anything stupid." Angela warned him.

"Do I look stupid?" _I was insulted by the implication that I would do anything that would harm my child._ "She is my daughter, and I'm gonna go get to know her, if that's okay with you!" His voice was still raised significantly.

"Please, Booth, just come back and let me explain. You can have all the time you want with her, but please just let me explain first." _Tears were streaming down her face, but I found it difficult to feel sorry for her. I couldn't even comprehend the extent of what she'd done to me yet. I was never going to get those two years back, because she'd stolen them from me. Why should I give her a chance to explain - how could she say anything to make this better? Nothing she could say would ever justify this._

"Why should I humour you? What have you done for me these last three years except turn my whole world upside down to suit yourself?" There was an icy tone to his voice.

"You said you didn't want half-truths, right?" _I nodded. _"Then let me explain, not for my sake, for yours, Booth, and for hers. Do you think this is helping her?" _I looked at the little girl whose arms were wrapped around my neck, whose big brown eyes were wide with terror as I shouted at her Mommy. This wasn't about me or Brennan, this was about her. She was the real victim here, and as much as I wanted to kill her mother for putting me through this hell, I had to keep Olwyn's best interests at heart. She was scared and confused, as were we all. I couldn't just take her from her Mommy like this - it may have seemed fair to Brennan, but how would it seem to a two year old? This wasn't her fault._

_I couldn't forgive Brennan for doing this to me, but for Olwyn's sake I decided to cool down a little and hear her out. After all, she did have a _lot_ of explaining to do. Maybe it might help me get my head around what exactly all this meant, too._

"No." He shook his head. He walked back towards us slowly, Olwyn gripping her little arms around him with a look of both fear and confusion on her face. How could she possibly understand what was going on? He turned his attention to his daughter. "I'm sorry for scaring you Olwyn, sweetheart." He placed her in Angela's open arms. He kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, kiddo." My heart broke at this sight. It brought home the reality of the situation to me, seeing Booth like that with my - our - daughter. At the heart of this was a man and his child, who I knew he loved more than even he could understand. As angry as he was with me, I knew that he'd do anything for Olwyn. Why couldn't I have seen that three years ago?

"Love you too, Boot'." _ She reached out her little hand and patted my cheek, that little smile returning to her lips. I couldn't wait until she could call me 'Daddy'. I knew from experience what an amazing feeling that would be. I just had to be patient._

_I turned to Brennan, my expression turning sour again._

"You have some _serious_ explaining to do." I nodded meekly as he led the way back to Angela's office. He was right. I had never felt so ashamed of myself before in my entire life. I returned the wave Olwyn was giving me with a feigned smile, for her benefit. This wasn't going to be easy for any of us, especially her.

But then again, had this ever been easy?

**A/N **_**- **_Hope you enjoyed that ^_^ This is definitely the last update until at least the 18th of June, as my Junior Cert is starting on Wednesday and I _really _need to do some work! Chapter Seven is in the works, and I'm by no means abandoning this, but with 15 exams on three years' coursework ahead of me, I should probably adjust my priorities temporarily xD


	7. What Hurts The Most

**Chapter Seven – What Hurts The Most**

"I don't know what to say to you." Booth said, looking away from me once he'd closed the door to Angela's office. "This is just...I can't understand this." He seemed to have calmed down slightly – he was still angry, but he now appeared more vulnerable than before. I could see the hurt that he was feeling just by the way he spoke to me, the way he stood there, leaning against the wall. He looked as if he'd seen a ghost – if that were possible. This was what I feared the most, not the borderline violent side of him I'd just seen. You expect that reaction from a man like Booth, who liked to characterise himself as an alpha male, who liked to be in control. To see this side of him, however, was almost unsettling. Sure, I'd seen his sensitive side on many occasions before, but never like this. Never because of _me_.

"I don't expect you to, Booth." _She said, through her tears, which seemed to be easing off slightly. I understood that this wasn't going to be easy for her, either, but I hadn't done anything to her. She'd brought this upon herself – and me – so why should I be sympathetic?_

"But she's mine. You had my kid." He sounded as if he still didn't quite believe it. I didn't really believe it either, not fully, even though all of the evidence was clearly in front of me. Sometimes seeing all the facts still doesn't make something like this _feel_ real. I was finally beginning to understand where Booth had always been coming from when he had those 'gut feelings'. Three years ago, my gut told me to stay in DC, but I let my over-rational head dictate my decisions. I never thought I find myself admitting this, but I wish I'd listened to my gut. "What the hell happened?"

"Are you sure you don't remember any of it?" He shook his head.

"If I did, do you think I'd be half as confused as I am right now?" _And_ _if I did, don't you think I'd have made the connection earlier? Surely she didn't think I was _that_ stupid. Or maybe she did, and that's why she thought she could get away with this for so long. She was surprisingly arrogant when it came to her own intelligence, particularly in relation to mine. _

"No, I don't." _She said, shaking her head a little. _"Just let me explain, Booth." 'Just let yourself explain, Brennan.' I told myself. It was harder to do than I'd imagined. No one expects to ever have to explain to someone they love why they took their child away. No one expects to get sympathy for it, either. No one expects forgiveness and yet somehow I still hoped I'd get it from him. Hope really was a dangerous thing.

"I'm not stopping you." _I wasn't. I wanted to hear this. It would probably be a pathetic excuse for the world of hurt she'd caused, a world that had just come crashing down around me. How was I ever going to get past this? How could I ever look at her the same way again? She was the mother of my child; I was supposed to feel something for her. In an ideal world, she'd let me. It seemed as if she actively prevented me from loving her at every opportunity available, but somehow I'd managed to get around every obstacle she'd placed before me. I wasn't certain I'd ever be able to overcome this particular road-block, however. This was...this was too much. _"But just tell me, why did you ask me for my, you know, 'stuff' in the first place?" _I didn't understand why she wanted _anybody's _'stuff' in the first place – I had been under the impression that she never wanted kids at all – but right now I figured that wasn't the most important thing to be asking. What I needed to know was why she asked _me_, and especially why she never let me know I was a father again. I didn't expect a very convincing argument, but I reasoned that it was better to just hear her out._

"You mean your sperm?" _No, Brennan, my baseball card collection. I nodded. _"I wanted a baby, and you seemed like a good candidate for sperm donation. I mean, Olwyn looks mostly like you, and you said yourself that she's very beautiful. It's an evolutionary thing, Booth, that drives the need for us to find an attractive mate. We want to ensure the best possible genetic make-up for our offspring." _Hang on, did she just say, in her roundabout kind of way, that I was hot? _

"But can't you, you know, go to a...bank, and just pick a random guy?"

"Well I didn't want my child to have some random stranger's DNA, Booth. I know you, and I know your personality. I also wanted my child to inherit some of those other aspects of you, too. I wouldn't be able to know everything I knew about you about an anonymous donor."

"So basically you're saying that you wanted _my _child? Specifically?" _That was...interesting. _

"Yes, I won't deny that I did want your child."

"But why did I agree to this? I mean, as good as your arguments are, there's no way I'd just let you have my kid, Brennan. We'd have to be _together _before that could happen. I'd have to be a Dad to our child, not just a donor." _If only you knew how much I wanted you to let me in, to let us have that kind of family._ _Don't you see that we could have been so much happier _together_? Maybe if I'd just come out and told you that, none of this would have happened. _

"I don't know why you agreed, Booth. I did make myself very clear, that you wouldn't be the child's father, but you said yes anyway."

"But then …I didn't?" He seemed confused. This must have been difficult for him, not remembering what happened, especially when he needed to get into the mindset that he was in three years ago. Otherwise, I couldn't see him understanding those decisions. Not when they seemed so ludicrous to him now.

"Yes, you changed your mind. You told me that you couldn't bear to let me have your baby and not be a part of its life. Apparently you came to that decision with the help of a cartoon baby."

"What?" _Wait, what?_

"Yes, you had hallucinations of a cartoon baby, and they helped you come to the conclusion that you couldn't let me go through with it. Of course, that's when I realised that you had a tumour."

_What the freakin hell was she talking about? _

"A…cartoon baby?"

"Yes, I believe it was the child from Family Guy. The one with the completely out of place accent and oddly-shaped head."

"Stewie Griffin. Okay, well that's not weird at all. And how the hell do you know who he is, anyway?"

"I googled 'Stewie Griffin' and came across a YouTube video in which the child pole vaults into a glass cabinet and then runs around the room with a large piece of glass protruding from his forehead. It seemed like a television programme that you would have appreciated more than I do." _Again with the insulting of my intelligence. _

"Okay, whatever, me seeing Stewie Griffin is really not important right now. If I told you I didn't want you to do it, why did you go ahead?"

"Remember what I said earlier? I was already pregnant before you had that tumour-induced epiphany of sorts. I was about to tell you I'd been inseminated when you told me not to do it. I became distracted by the clearly worrying symptoms you were presenting, and then before I knew it I was sitting at your bedside for a week, waiting for you to wake up. When you did, you looked me in the eyes and told me in all sincerity that you had no idea who I was."

"And you thought _then_ would be an appropriate time to just up and leave? How was that supposed to be protecting me?" He asked, incredulously.

"When I'd gotten inseminated, I was under the impression that you didn't want anything to do with my child. When you said you couldn't do that, that you had to be a part of her life, Olwyn suddenly became _your_ child, too. I'd seen what having Parker out of wedlock had done to you - this wasn't your fault, you didn't deserve that again. So I left, and you didn't have to even know she existed." _This really made my blood boil. She made it sound as if I resented having Parker, as if she would have been placing an extra burden on me by having my baby. I could barely look at her - not that I was making much eye contact to begin with._

"What the hell are you talking about, Brennan? You think I don't love Parker with everything I have, just because I don't see him all the time? Just because ours isn't exactly a nuclear family? He's the most important person in my life, or at least he was until about fifteen minutes ago. I don't understand why you couldn't have just told me about her! I would have been there for my daughter, no matter what! I would have been there for both of you!"

"But neither of us wanted to start a family _together_." _Hey speak for yourself, Brennan. You can't imagine how privileged I would I have felt to be the father of _your_ kid. Back then, anyway. When I was still naïve enough to believe we could actually have a relationship that would work. _"I wanted a child on my own, and I thought you understood that. I wasn't ready to become the mother of _your_ baby - I wasn't even ready to be more than a friend to you."

"Well when you ask someone for their sperm, you're kind of going beyond the friend zone." _I can't believe I actually had to tell her that._

"I understand that _now_, but it didn't feel that way when I asked you. All I could see was that it made logical sense: I wanted a child, and you had sperm that would provide my child with excellent genes. I didn't understand the emotional implications for either of us, no matter how many times Sweets tried to explain them to me." _Of course she didn't. She was emotionally stunted. _"When you didn't object it only reinforced my skewed perspective, made me think my over-rational and logical approach to conceiving a child was valid. I was able to ignore all the emotions involved until you finally owned up to your true feelings. Your timing was impeccable, by the way."

"Hey don't try to pin this on me. Just because you can't understand normal people's emotions doesn't mean this is my fault! I was sick!" _I couldn't believe she was trying to make it out as if I'd caused this. Okay, sure, I wasn't completely innocent – I'd made my fair share of mistakes – but you gotta admit that she was most at fault. And I wasn't in the best frame of mind to be making those decisions, even if none of us were aware of it at the time. Who knows whether or not the tumour had been the only reason I'd been willing to let Brennan have my stuff in the first place? I know I certainly wouldn't let her if she asked me now that I was tumour-free._

"That's not what I'm trying to say, Booth! This is _my_ fault! All I'm trying to do is explain my reasoning behind what I did. Obviously you contributed to my decisions, but I never even thought of blaming you. You were just trying to make me happy, despite your own feelings. You did the right thing when you told me the truth. Your timing was just unfortunate."

"Look, I get that I changed my mind too late; I don't blame you for that. _That_ was my fault. I should have been straight with you from the beginning. But if you'd just been straight with _me_, we wouldn't have had a problem. I would have understood the situation. It's not like you forced me into giving you my stuff. I made a conscious decision to let you have it. When you got…"

"Inseminated." I never quite understood why Booth had such a problem with saying that word.

"Yeah…that…anyway, you had my permission. It was my own damn fault that I didn't tell you the truth in time. I wouldn't have punished you for doing what I told you you could do. I mean, I get that you wanted to be an independent mom, and while I'm not saying that I could have been completely on-board with you raising my kid alone, we could have worked something out. I'm not an unreasonable guy, Brennan. You know that.

"What I just don't get is why you left when I was sick."

"I was trying to protect you, Booth."

"Stop saying that! I didn't need protecting!" He snapped back at me.

"Well I thought you did. I felt like I'd made a huge mistake and I didn't want you to have to suffer because of it."

"Oh yeah, because it would be such a _pain_ to know I was the father of your baby. I don't know how I could have possibly survived." His tone was laced with sarcasm. "You seriously think I would have resented Olwyn?" _As if it were possible for me not to love that little girl with all my heart._

"No, but I thought I was doing you a favour. You didn't ask for any of this. I thought that you wouldn't want to have to go through what you do with Parker, all over again, and I wasn't prepared to let you be the father you would want to be to her. I was being selfish. I was putting what I _wanted_ before what you and Olwyn _needed_. That was wrong, and I understand that now." Angela had helped me to put that into words where I had always failed. If I hadn't had her unconditional support and realistic outlook throughout this, I'm not sure I ever would have been able to understand my own reasoning behind these decisions.

"So you thought that me losing my best friend," _and so much more than that_, "when I was seriously ill, and then not hearing from her for nearly three years was better than me finding out I had a kid who I couldn't be a father to. Yeah, that makes total sense."

"Booth, what you're failing to see is that I'm not defending myself or my actions, I'm just explaining _why_ I did this to you; my perspective on the situation is clearly different _now_! What I did was selfish and irrational, and there's no excuse for it; I can see that now that I've had the privilege of having Olwyn. That's why I'm telling you about her now, Booth. That's why I want you to be a part of her life. I can't change the idiotic decisions I made or their consequences, but please recognise that I'm trying to fix this." _And I think I could see that. I know Brennan was a bit obtuse when it came to human interactions, but having a child changes you, gives you a new outlook on life. I didn't expect Brennan to be an exception to this. What remained to be seen was the extent to which she'd evolved. I didn't want to get my hopes up - it doesn't take an emotional genius to work out that it was a bad move to hide a person's kid from them for three years. _"If I could change what I did, I would, but you and I both know that's unfortunately impossible."

"Look I get that you regret what you did, but you can't expect that I'm not gonna be seriously pissed off with you about this for a long time." _'Pissed off' was probably putting it lightly._

"No, I get that. I don't…I don't expect you to forgive me for this. All I want you to know is that I _am_ sorry." I could feel the tears prickling at my eyes, which were so weak from crying that they weren't ready to put up much of a fight. "I just…I just don't want you to miss any more time with her because of my stupid, selfish mistakes."

"So I can tell her who I am, then?" _I really couldn't wait to hear her call me 'Daddy'. It's just this feeling I can't quite explain…I barely even knew this child, and yet I suddenly loved her more than anybody else in the world, except for Parker of course. I was still reeling from the news that I had a daughter, still not quite able fully understand what it mean, but this love felt real. That's all I needed._

"No." _She said this very quickly. What the hell? She couldn't just stop me from telling my kid I was her Daddy. It was her fault that Olwyn wasn't aware of that fact for the last two and a half years – she had absolutely no right to keep up this charade._

"I wasn't really asking, to be honest." He said, making towards the door.

"No! You can't. I mean, of course you can, but just…not yet. You can't just go up to her and tell her who you are, Booth. She won't understand." Olwyn was highly intelligent, but she was still only a highly intelligent two year old, after all. This was going to turn her world upside down – we had to do this carefully.

"Brennan, I have dealt with kids before. Unlike you, I'm not a first-time parent here."

"But you don't understand her like I do, Booth." _She tried to explain. Of course I didn't understand her like she did – I had missed over two years of her life. _

"And whose fault is that?" He snapped back.

"Look, I've said that I'm sorry, Booth. This is my fault, but that doesn't mean I'm not right, either." I sighed. I was the 'bad guy' here, for sure, but I needed him to see that I did have his and Olwyn's best interests at heart. I _was_ trying to help. "I just want to tell her with you. She has to be able to see that we're both her parents, together, that she has both of us, not just one or the other." I feared that if Booth told her he was her father alone, and then took her out by himself, she'd get the impression that I was abandoning her, that she could only have one parent at a time. I didn't want it to be that way. I needed her to know that I would always be there for her, as would Booth. Two year olds are highly impressionable; you can't underestimate the effect that anything has on them.

"Fine, we can tell her together." _I relented. I figured that if we were going to be parenting Olwyn together, we might as well start that way. _"But I want to spend time with her afterwards."

"If she doesn't seem too perturbed by the news that you're her father, then I see no reason why I shouldn't let you."

"Well you know, I wasn't actually asking for your permission. She's my kid just as much as yours, Brennan. It's not your job to tell me what I'm _allowed_ to do with her anymore." There was a venomous edge to his tone. "You're going to have to get that in to your head, okay? I know you're not used to sharing her, but as we both know, it takes two to make a kid, as much as I'm sure you wish that wasn't the case. You gotta share her."

"I know, Booth. I just…I want to make sure she's okay. I want you to spend time with her, more than anything, but children need to feel safe, they need stability. We need to ensure that she knows that she's safe, that while things are going to change, she's not going to lose anything. Like you said, she's the most important person in this equation."

"Fine, I get that." He nodded. "She _is_ the most important person here. She doesn't need to suffer because of whatever we have going on between us. Now I don't think we should keep her waiting any longer, do you?" He made for the door, and I followed him out. I hated it when he looked at me like that, the hurt and anger evident in his eyes. I couldn't live with myself knowing I'd done that to him. All I wanted was for him to flash me that irresistible Booth smile and for everything to be okay again. I wasn't sure that he'd ever smile at me like that again, and that killed me inside. But this wasn't about Booth and me. This was about Olwyn and her Daddy. He'd smile like that at _her_, he'd hold _her_ tight and he'd tell _her _he loved her without a second thought. I couldn't help but find myself feeling slightly envious of my two year old daughter at that moment. What in the world was I becoming?

And more importantly, why?

**A/N** – Thanks for all the great feedback (and messages of good luck ). The exams went well, it's great to have them over with now! The gap between updates won't be so long from now on…I have two weeks at home before heading to CTYI for three weeks, but I promise I'll write enough in those two weeks to keep updating while I'm away ^_^

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that chapter! Review whether you did or didn't – your feedback is always so helpful!

And thanks to my friend Sadhbh, who has been reading all these chapters before I publish them, discussing this fic with me and generally being someone to bounce ideas off for how this story is going to play out Merci beaucoup Sadhbh P:


	8. Swings and Roundabouts

**Chapter 8 – Swings and Roundabouts**

_I led the way up the corridor, eventually finding Angela, Cam and Olwyn sitting in Cam's office. They were chatting and giggling – if only I could be in such high spirits right now. When I found out that Brennan was coming for the wedding, I prepared myself to finally tell her how I felt about her, despite everything she'd done to me. I had promised Sweets that I would talk to her, but I knew that I couldn't waste the opportunity to tell her the truth. _

_Now, I wasn't sure I could ever look at her the same way again. I could forgive her for moving away, I could try to move past her cutting off contact and keeping the fact that she'd had a baby from me, but discovering that Olwyn was mine had changed all of that. She hadn't just moved away, she'd moved away with _my_ child. She hadn't just cut off my contact with her, she cut off my contact with my daughter. She'd kept the fact that she'd had _my_ baby from me. I spent three years trying to convince myself that she hadn't left because of me, that she must have had other reasons, but now I knew the truth. It was a horrible truth, a truth I could have never imagined Temperance Brennan causing. _

_But that wasn't important right now. The only thing that mattered was making sure Olwyn knew I was her Daddy. Like I said to Brennan, whatever we had going on between us shouldn't affect our daughter. I wasn't sure what the hell _was_ going on between us, but I didn't even want to think about that. That was… well that required a hell of a lot of energy that I simply didn't have in me anymore._

"Boot'!" Olwyn exclaimed when she saw Booth enter the room. She ran over to him, her smile perfectly reflecting his. Angela and Cam exchanged excited glances, before realising I was standing behind him. They both gave me a sympathetic look, but neither could hide her grin. I admit, the sight of Booth and Olwyn together was heart-warming, but the pain of him hating me was clouding my ability to appreciate it.

"Hey sweetheart." _I lifted her up into another hug, a little taken aback by the welcome I got from her every time she saw me when she didn't even know I was her father yet. She clearly hadn't inherited her social skills from her mother._

"Thanks for watching her." I addressed Cam and Angela, with a slightly forced smile.

"Not a problem, Bren." Angela beamed back at me. She was a hapless romantic, excited beyond belief to see the three of us standing there together. If only we were as close to being a family as we appeared. No, we couldn't have been farther from it.

"It was a pleasure." _Cam smiled. I assumed she'd never met Olwyn before, though I knew she'd been fully aware of her existence. I looked at the two women who I counted among my closest friends, and wondered how they could have kept this from me for so long. I mean, this was Brennan's fault, but somehow I couldn't help feeling a little betrayed by everyone else who'd been in on the secret too. _

"Yeah, thanks for_ everything_." _I said, with a bitter tone. I think they understood exactly what I was talking about, both of their heads dipping a little in shame as I began to walk out of the office._

"See ya later, Bug." Angela said to Olwyn, in a slightly less upbeat tone. From what I could read of the situation, Booth was annoyed with Cam and Angela, probably because they'd kept my secret for me. As if I needed something else to make me feel guilty.

"Bye-bye, Auntie Angela, Auntie Cam!" Olwyn beamed back as she waved at them from Booth's arms. She raised her head from where she had immediately buried it in the crook of his neck. "Where go now?" _Olwyn asked Brennan as the three of us headed back out to the corridor_

"To Auntie Angela's office." I answered.

"Why?" _She had definitely inherited Brennan's curiosity, anyway._

"We have something we need to talk to you about." _I decided to answer that time._

"I in trouble?" She asked, suddenly fearful.

"Of course not, sweetie. We just have some really good news for you." He placed a kiss on her forehead. Despite his fury with me, he was incredibly gentle with Olwyn. The second he found out she was his he immediately gave her all the love he could give. How could I have possibly deprived Olwyn of this? I felt like such a monster.

"Good news?" _She asked, confused._

"Yeah, _really_ good news." I could hear the excitement in his voice. He just couldn't wait to let her know who he was. If Olwyn had known what was coming, she would have been equally excited.

_Brennan pushed the door to Angela's office open, and I proceeded to place Olwyn on the sofa, the two of us sitting down either side of her. She looked back and forth between the two of us, confusion still apparent on her face._ _I smiled at her, while Brennan tried to force a smile. She clearly wasn't as happy about this as I was. Of course she wasn't – she'd moved half-way around the world to make sure I didn't know about Olwyn. No matter how many times she said she wanted me in our daughter's life, I still got the impression that she wished this wasn't happening._

"What go on?" Her big brown eyes were puzzled. I took her little hand in mine, not sure which one of us needed the comfort of the other's hand more. I liked to believe it was her, but then again I'd probably end up taking this harder than she would.

I took a deep breath, bracing myself.

"Olwyn, sweetheart, do you remember the day we went to buy our dresses?" She nodded.

"I gots a red dress just like you." _She smiled._

"Do you remember what you asked me, when we were on the bus?"

"'Bout the signs you didn't know how to read?" Of course that was what she remembered, my inability to understand the bilingual signage.

"No, not that, Ol. I mean, what you asked me about your Daddy." _Wait, they'd already talked about me?_

"You say he live long way away, like you Daddy, but he love me lots."_Brennan stole a glance at me. She had probably never anticipated me finding out about that conversation when she had it. _

"Yes, I did say that. You want to meet your Daddy, don't you?" She nodded her little head furiously.

"I wanna meet him lots."

"Well what if I told you that…Booth is your Daddy?" Her brown eyes grew even larger, and for the first time in her short life she was rendered speechless. She turned to Booth, who beamed back at her with the biggest smile I'd ever seen upon his face. Something told me he hadn't had reason to smile like that in a long time.

"You...my Daddy?" _Olwyn looked up at me, not quite able to believe what she was being told. I didn't blame her; _I _was still having difficulty getting over this news, and I was far from being two years old. _

"Yeah, sweetie, I'm your Daddy." He said softly, placing his hand on her back.

"Why no say 'fore?" _She asked, confusedly. _

"We wanted it to be a surprise for you, Olwyn." I answered, unsure of quite how to gauge her reaction.

"So you my Daddy." She said it again, a little more definite this time.

"Yeah, I'm your Daddy." _I repeated. It might take her a little while to understand, but that was expected. It was difficult enough to get your head around._

"Okay." _She said slowly._ "So I no call you Boot'? I call you Daddy?"

"Yeah, you call me Daddy. Like you said, Booth is a silly name anyway."

"Yeah it is." _She grinned. _"I love you, Daddy." _She smiled as she hugged me. I pulled her closer, finding myself fighting tears. Hearing her call me 'Daddy' was just...words don't come close to describing this. I felt like I had been waiting for this moment my entire life, even though I'd only known it was coming for what? Less than an hour? Whatever, it really didn't matter. This was...priceless. _

"I love you too, Olwyn." Booth said as he held her close to him. I felt a wrenching sensation in my gut, reminding me once again of my sickening guilt. I thought it would start to dissipate once I told Booth the truth, but it seemed as if it was only getting worse.

_She turned to Brennan._

"Mommy you love Daddy too, you say so." Oh shit. Why did she have to remember every single thing I ever said? Booth avoided my eyes – it wasn't as if I was eager to make eye contact either. What was I supposed to say? I couldn't tell my two year old I didn't love her father, could I? Especially not when I knew that would be an outright lie.

"I...did say that." _Wow, this was awkward. Well of course she'd told Olwyn she loved me; as a mom you can't tell a child you _don't_ love their dad, can you? But just because you say something for the benefit of your kid, that doesn't mean it's true, does it? Hadn't I been the one who'd convinced Brennan that it was okay to lie to kids sometimes? And anyway, even if she did...love me, it was probably in a platonic way, right? There was no way she could love me the way I loved her. No, that...that wasn't possible._

"And Daddy, you love Mommy." _It wasn't so much of a question as a statement. Through the eyes of a child, it seemed like an unconditional truth. Mommies and Daddies love each other. It was just a fact. I had no choice but to tell the truth._

"Yeah, I love your Mommy." Of course he had to say that. That didn't make it the truth. 'Up to a certain age, kids deserve to live a different kind of truth' were Booth's own words, right? Sometimes you have to tell children lies to allow them to have the 'transient experience of innocence and joy', as Sweets put it. It was our responsibility to spare Olwyn the whole truth of this situation until she was older, until she could really understand. He himself had taught me that lesson.

An awkward silence descended between the two of us.

_We _really_ needed a change of subject._

"Say...Olwyn, what would you say to going to the park?" _She turned back to me, her attention diverted._

"The park? There swings?" She asked him, excitedly. Of course that was her first question.

"Yeah there's swings. You like swings?" _She nodded excitedly._

"Like swings lots." She grinned. Olwyn had a thing for swings, reminding me of my own affinity for them as a child. Many a Saturday afternoon had been spent in the People's Park pushing her back and forth on the swings; they were the only part of a playground she had ever had any time for. "Mommy push me on the swings, and I like that lots." She smiled up at me.

"Well how about if Daddy pushed you on the swings this time? How about if Mommy...didn't go to the park?" Olwyn furrowed her brow at my suggestion. The only two people who had ever taken her to the park were me and Adele, her nanny.

"I go with...just Daddy?" _She didn't seem so hot on the idea._

"Yeah, but if you want, Mommy can come." _ I added. Brennan was right: we needed to show her that we were in this together.  
_

"No." She said this very definitively. "No I want Daddy push me on the swings. I wanna go with just Daddy." She nodded. She seemed pretty sure. I wasn't certain how I felt about this.

"And if Daddy wanted to take you to do some other things after the park, do you think it would be okay if Mommy wasn't with us?" _She thought for a moment._

"Okay. But I still see Mommy after?"

"Of course, Olwyn. If you want Mommy, Mommy will be there." I reassured her. "If you don't want to spend all day with Daddy, you can come back to Mommy."

"No I want go with Daddy." She kept nodding.

"Okay, whatever you want sweetheart." I smiled. She was taking this better than I'd expected.

_She hopped up off the sofa excitedly. She had clearly been distracted from the more pressing issue of finding out who her father was, more interested now in playing on the swings. _

"'Kay now we go play on the swings." _Again a statement more than a question. I smiled as I got up._

"Yeah, let's go play on the swings." He stood up and she took his hand. I knew it was only a matter of time before she tired of being carried around, even if it was her Daddy of all people carrying her. She was a natural born leader; you can't lead the way if you're in your Daddy's arms.

He turned his attention to me.

"I can drop her back to your place whenever suits you."

"Why don't I pick her up from your place? I don't know when I'll be at home and I'm picking up the rental car in a little while anyway."

"Yeah, sure, that sounds fine. Say around six? Is that too late?" _I wanted to make sure I wasn't over-stepping the mark too much. Okay, I was angry with her and she was in the wrong on so many levels, but when it came down to it I had zero parental rights. I would make sure that changed very soon, but as it stood Brennan _was_ still Olwyn's sole guardian. She _did_ have the right to tell me what I could and couldn't do with her. _

"That's perfect." I forced a smile. He seemed to be cooling down a little, which was slightly reassuring.

I bent down to Olwyn's level.

"You behave for Daddy, okay?" She nodded with a little smile.

"I be good for Daddy." She repeated.

"That's my girl." I genuinely smiled. "I love you, Olwyn."

"Love you too Mommy." She grinned, never looking more like Booth than at that moment. She loosened her grip on her Daddy's fingers for a moment to hug me. "Love you lots."

When she let go of me, she returned to Booth.

"Now we go to the swings!" She ordered him. She knew exactly what she wanted. Booth played along with her.

"Whatever you say, Boss." He smiled down at her. She led the way out of the office, turning just before she toddled out the door to wave back at me.

"Bye bye Mommy!" She called back.

"Bye Olwyn." I waved back.

Booth looked at me, and nodded.

"See you later, Brennan."

"See you later." I echoed, before turning away to break the eye contact. I knew if I held it much longer the flood gates would open. I didn't want him to see that again; more importantly, I didn't want Olwyn to see that. Not after the scare we'd given her earlier.

_She turned from me, and before I had a chance to say anything else, Olwyn pulled me out the door._

"What you wait for Daddy? Let's go swings!" _I smiled. She was Brennan all over._

**A/N **– Hope you enjoyed that one Make my week by reviewing if you did, or even if you didn't – I'm always open to feedback so I can make this even better for you guys to read :D (Lots of reviews might also speed up the writing of chapters nine and ten…just saying :P).


	9. Something Beginning With Hope

**A/N – This chapter begins in Cam's office, just before Booth and Brennan arrive to take Olwyn ** ** (And it's from Angela's P.O.V.)**

**Chapter Nine – Something Beginning With Hope**

"I spy with my little eye, something beginning with...C." I said in a slight sing-song voice, as Olwyn looked excitedly around the office.

"Chair!" She exclaimed after a moment of thought, pointing at the chair Cam was sitting in. I shook my head.

"Nope, it's not a chair." She furrowed her brow.

"Computer?" She asked. I shook my head again.

"Nope."

"Cam?" The two of us laughed.

"No, it's not Cam." She frowned.

"I don't know what is." She sighed.

"Keep looking, sweetie." I encouraged her. She looked around again. Her eyes lit up like the metaphorical light-bulb above her head.

"Calendar!" She pointed at the wall behind Cam, sure she was right that time.

"That's right! Well done, sweetie!" She giggled.

"Now you turn, Cam!" Cam nodded, a smile upon her face. She hadn't believed me when I told her that Olwyn was a mini version of her mom, but there was no way she didn't now.

"Okay, I spy with my little eye, something beginning with...B." Olwyn's big brown eyes searched the office.

"Book!" She pointed at the bookcase. Cam shook her head.

"Not a book, keep guessing."

"Hmmm..." There was a click behind us: it was the door. We all turned our heads. "Boot'!" Olwyn squealed, hopping off my lap and running towards the door as soon as she saw her father standing there. It didn't matter if she was right or wrong anymore; she was too preoccupied with hugging Booth to care about a game of 'I Spy'. Cam and I looked at each other, neither of us able to contain our excitement. From the moment we found out that Brennan was pregnant with Booth's child, we'd waited impatiently for the moment when Booth finally discovered the truth. The sight of Olwyn running into Booth's open arms was heart-warming, and for a moment it felt like all was right in the world.

But then we both simultaneously caught sight of Brennan, still standing in the doorway, and we were reminded of the less than ideal consequences of this reunion. As expected, Booth had pretty much exploded when Brennan told him Olwyn was his, and it was difficult to see him forgiving her for that any time soon. She forced a smile for Olwyn's benefit, but I could see that she was hurting. It broke my heart that the two of them couldn't let themselves be happy together. Fate had brought them into each other's lives and made them soul mates, but since then it had also done everything in its power to keep them apart. It was hard to believe either of them had ever done anything to piss fate off _that_ much.

"Hey sweetheart." Booth said as he picked Olwyn up. She snuggled her head into the crook of his neck and he held her close, just like before. This shouldn't have been a new experience for either of them, he should have been holding her like that from the time she was born. That was why this was such a poignant moment. That, and the fact that Olwyn had no idea that Booth was her Daddy, but something told me that that wouldn't be the case for much longer.

"Thanks for watching her." Brennan spoke up from behind Booth and Olwyn.

"Not a problem, Bren." I smiled back at her.

"It was a pleasure." Cam added. It really was. Olwyn was the most gorgeous little girl. She was smart, and asked an endless amount of questions, but she was also remarkably well-behaved and mannerly for a two year old. Brennan was definitely raising her well, anyway.

"Yeah, thanks for _everything_." Booth's expression turned sour. This was the part I had been dreading: when he realised we'd been in on the secret, too. Both of us avoided his eyes, ashamed of what we'd put him through. Brennan wasn't the only one with apologising to do.

"See ya later, Bug." I gave Olwyn a little wave, trying to mask my nervousness. She didn't need to see all that. She was a child. The world was still fluffy and soft and inherently good in her eyes. If only we could all see the world through the eyes of a two year old again.

"Bye-bye, Auntie Angela, Auntie Cam!" She waved back as Booth carried her out of the room. I heard her ask Brennan where they were going once they were outside; they were going back to my office.

I looked at Cam.

"They make a gorgeous family, don't they?"

"Too bad they're the farthest thing imaginable from one." Cam sighed.

"Do you think they're going to tell Olwyn now?" I wondered aloud.

"That Booth is her Daddy? They better be. She deserves to know." I nodded. "I hope she takes it well."

"This is Olwyn we're talking about. She loves Booth." I smirked. "She's just like her mom."

"She _is_ Brennan, just smaller." Cam chuckled. "I don't know how this is going to work, though. I mean, apart from the fact that they're living three thousand miles away from each other, Booth and Brennan have some _serious_ issues."

"You don't have to tell me, Cam. I swear, I've spent more time trying to convince Brennan to try to work things out with Booth this year than I've spent planning my wedding. Even now, when my wedding's the day after tomorrow, I'm still more interested in their problems."

"You shouldn't be worrying about any of this, Angela. You should be getting excited about the happiest day of your life."

"Cam, the happiest day of my life was 18 months ago, the day Genevieve and Noah were born. This wedding is just a formality – I've felt married to Hodgins for three years now." I smiled. "I'm pretty excited about it, but I just think Booth and Brennan problems are a little more important. I have my happy family – I want them to have that too."

"It's hard to imagine Brennan and Booth playing happy families, but it's a nice thought all the same." She said.

"I think it could happen! Maybe not any time soon, but eventually…with a little help from their friends." Cam smirked.

"Correction: a _lot_ of help from their friends."

"Good thing we're always more than happy to help, even if they don't think they need it." I laughed. "I'll probably be counseling Brennan in the middle of the wedding reception by the looks of things."

"A few years from now, they'll look back and appreciate all that you and Sweets have done for them these past couple of years. Right now they're just too proud to admit you're right."

"It'll be a cold day in hell before Temperance Brennan swallows her pride."

"Well let's hope that day comes soon, because I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. Or, more importantly, how much more of this Booth can take. That man has been torn up by all of this."

"He's angrier now than I've ever seen him before." I sighed. "And not just at Brennan, either."

"Yeah, I saw that look he gave us." She looked nervous. "I really hope this doesn't make things awkward or anything, you know, at work."

"Don't worry, Booth's just angry at the world in general at the moment. It won't last. I mean, we'll have to apologise to him of course, but Booth isn't really the type to hold a grudge, especially once he understands why we did it."

"I hope so." She nodded, though not seeming too convinced.

"Cam, hope's not a component here. He'll realise what's really important and he'll forgive us, just like he'll eventually forgive Brennan."

"You seem so certain."

"But I'm not, because very little is ever certain with those two. Remember that pool Hodgins started a few years back, betting on when they'd finally hook up? Only the ultimate pessimists are still left in the running. Actually, I think it's just Fisher that's left, and he doesn't even work here anymore. We were all sure they'd be together by the end of 2008 at the latest, now look at them." I smiled, remembering the day I'd placed my bet. I had been a little optimistic, saying they'd have sealed the deal by Christmas 2007, and though I'd heard some still unsubstantiated rumours that they'd been seen kissing (with tongue!) under the mistletoe, unfortunately I'd lost on that particular wager. "The one thing that you can count on is the inevitability of them actually getting together…eventually."

"Yeah, eventually." She said, her attention diverted by something behind me, something outside the room. I swiveled around in my chair, to see Olwyn leading Booth down the corridor. She was babbling to him about swings, and from what I could hear she was calling him 'Daddy'.

"Something tells me that her Mommy might need a shoulder to cry on right now." I said as I watched the two of them go past.

"I think that something might be right." Cam nodded. "You should probably go make sure she's okay."

"Yeah," I agreed, getting up. "This hasn't been a good day for her."

"Far from it." She shook her head.

"Maybe I'm being too optimistic, but I think we might be able to forge a happy ending from this sticky situation."

"How so?" She asked, as I made for the door.

"Oh, you'll see." I smirked. "You'll see." And I left her sitting there with a slightly confused expression on her face, as I strolled out onto the corridor. Barely an hour ago, I'd stood here as I watched Booth explode at Brennan, presumably moments after discovering he was the father of her child. I'd never seen Booth like that before – I doubted Brennan had either – and I have to say it was a little disturbing. This whole mess was screwing with all of us, not least of all Booth.

I meant what I said to Cam though. I was genuinely hopeful that those two would find their happiness.

They were going to need more than a slight nudge from us, though.

**A/N – Hope you liked that one ** ** I got a little distracted while writing this…wrote a songfic one-shot called 'The Scientist' because I felt a bit inspired xD I know this is quite short; it was originally 5000 or so words long, but I split it into two chapters; I'm going to CTYI tomorrow so I won't be able to write as much over the next three weeks, and I wanted to make sure I had enough to keep updating while I'm away! **

**I want to thank you all for the great feedback I always get from you ** ** It really makes my day to get a review – even if it's only a few words, it's nice to know people enjoyed reading your work. So if you have the time, please do review – it's what makes all this writing so much more worthwhile!**


	10. Black Holes and Revelations

**Chapter Ten - Black Holes and Revelations**

I pushed the door to my office open to find Brennan sitting stoically on the sofa, staring into space. She looked defeated; she reminded me of how Booth had appeared every time I'd seen him that past year, at least. She wasn't crying, but I had a feeling her tears weren't a million miles away. These days, they rarely were.

As interesting as the plant that her eyes were fixed on was, her attention turned to me as soon as I entered the room.

"Hi, Angela." She managed to choke out, wiping her eyes before she even shed a tear.

"Hey, Sweetie." I smiled sympathetically, sitting down beside her on the sofa. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Ange. I'm fine." She sounded as if she was trying to convince herself as much as me.

"Bren, you and I both know that you're not fine." I placed my hand on her shoulder, giving her one of those 'I-know-you-better-than-you-know-yourself' looks.

"I'm fine." She was stubborn, but so was I. And I had the advantage of actually being right in this situation.

"No, you're not. And no one expects you to be, either."

"This is my fault. I'm supposed to just take it up, and get on with it."

"I think you mean 'suck it up'." I smiled a little.

"You know what I mean. I caused this; I'm not supposed to feel sorry for myself." She sighed.

"Just because you caused this doesn't mean you can't be upset about it."

"It doesn't feel right, though. I'm supposed to feel better for telling him the truth, but seeing Booth and Olwyn together just makes the guilt worse."

"That's natural, Bren. It makes everything you've done that bit more real, I get that." She nodded. "And having Booth shouting at you like that can't be easy, either." She shook her head.

"I've never seen him like that before, Ange. Ever." A single, solitary tear made its escape, running down her cheek and falling into her lap. "He hates me."

"He doesn't mean it, sweetie. He doesn't hate you. You can't hate someone and love them at the same time."

"That's what he said. All it means is that he doesn't love me." Wait, what?

"Hold on a second – he told you that? Was this before or after you told him he was Olwyn's father? Before or after the explosion?"

"Before I told him he was Olwyn's father, and if by 'explosion' you're referring to when he started shouting, then before that too."

"Well then he was obviously trying to say that he loves you!"

"He wasn't _trying_ to say anything, Angela. It was just a Freudian slip."

"I thought you didn't believe in psychology."

"It's a soft science, but a science all the same."

"But isn't a Freudian slip the result of a repressed feeling or train of thought?" There's no way she didn't know that.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean that Booth said that because he loves me. It could have just been a slip of the tongue, not even Freudian."

"But it also could have, you know, meant something more. I mean, I don't need any more convincing that he's head over heels for you. You shouldn't either."

"Maybe he _was_, but I know he isn't now." She shook her head. That was strange – never before had she actually admitted that there was even the slightest possibility that Booth could love her. Something had definitely changed, alright.

"Whether or not you love someone doesn't change because of something like this, Bren."

"How do you know? When was the last time you were in this position?"

"Look, I just know, okay? The man has been pining for you for three long years – that kind of love doesn't just disappear." She shook her head.

"What difference does it make if he loves me or not? He can't even look me in the eye anymore." She looked down, trying to fight back more tears.

"Sweetie, it makes all the difference in the world. Especially when his love isn't unrequited." She looked up at me, shaking her head, but remained silent. Her head was telling her to deny it, but her heart wasn't so sure. "There's no use denying it; anyone with eyes can see it."

"It doesn't matter whether I love him or not. It doesn't matter whether he loves me or not. The fact is that it wouldn't work. A relationship would be nice for a while, but then it would eventually breakdown, like everything else." Well that was complete bullshit. I decided to explain this to her in words she'd understand.

"The fact? And exactly what evidence do you have to support your claim that that's a fact?"

"Experience, Angela."

"But you've never experienced a romantic relationship with Booth before. It doesn't have to end badly. It doesn't have to end at all."

"But it will, and when it does, where will that leave us? We need to be on good terms, for Olwyn's sake."

"You're not exactly on good terms now, are you? What have you got to lose?"

"A hell of a lot, Ange. I can't get close to Booth, bring him into Olwyn's life as more than just her father, but also as my romantic partner, and then let it end badly. She needs stability."

"Then don't let that happen. You can't sacrifice a chance at true happiness for the very slight possibility that it mightn't work out." I sighed again.

"It's more than a slight possibility. Booth deserves someone who can love him for a lifetime. I don't know if I can do that."

"Well I know that you can. It's not like it's something that's out of your control. You don't just wake up one morning and stop loving someone. Not when you love them like you love Booth. If you love someone enough to want their child, then you know you'll love them forever."

"That's not why I wanted his baby."

"Yeah, I believe that. One hundred percent."

"I know you're being sarcastic. I've gotten better at that." She sighed. "Love is ephemeral, Angela. It doesn't last."

"You know, the last time you told me that, you used Hodgins and me as an example. Clearly our love was not ephemeral at all."

"But you're a naturally loving person. You can see yourself with Hodgins forever."

"Brennan, whoever told you you're not a loving person was blind. What about Olwyn? You love her more than anything."

"That's different, Ange."

"Not that much." I argued. "And you really can't see yourself being with Booth forever? Or do you just not want to admit that it's actually possible for the two of you to be really happy together?" I gave her a knowing look. I didn't need her to answer that question. I already knew the answer. I also knew what answer she'd give. The two weren't necessarily the same, either.

She looked down. She seemed conflicted. Was that – no, that couldn't be hesitation, could it? Was it really possible that she had to think about this answer?

Her eyes began to water up and her expression became pained.

"You say it's…it's not out of my control." She sniffed slightly, looking up. "But I didn't choose this. I didn't choose to fall in love with Booth." Wow. Did she really just say that?

There was a moment of silence while I gathered my thoughts, trying to work out how to respond to that.

"Well not _everything_ is in our control. Things happen that we're not always happy about. Life throws us a few surprises along the way. It's how we deal with all those things that gives us back the power. Right now, all you're doing to deal with this is hiding from it, pretending it doesn't exist. What good is that doing either of you?" She shook her head, her gaze returning to her lap as a couple more tears made their escape.

"None." More and more tears flowed down her cheeks.

"So why are you _choosing_ to not let yourself be happy?"

"I don't know." She choked out. "I really don't know." I placed my hand on hers, squeezing it tightly.

"It's okay, Sweetie. It's okay." I tried to reassure her.

"Angela I want to be happy. But what makes me happy now…what if it isn't enough in ten, or twenty, or thirty years? What if it isn't enough in one?"

"How will you be able to answer that question without taking that chance? How will you know if you can even be happy with Booth at all if you don't try?"

She shrugged, a lost expression upon her tear-stained face.

"I don't know."

"Look, you know you love him , right?" She nodded gingerly. "Okay, and you know that Booth loves you, right?" She didn't nod. "Oh come on, Bren. Of course you know he loves you!"

"Fine, fine. He loves me." She said a little shakily as she voiced what she knew well was the truth. People have been less sure of the laws of physics' accuracy than I was about that particular statement.

"And don't you know it." I smiled. "And you two have a beautiful little girl together. Emphasis on _together_."

"I don't see where you're going with this."

"Of course you do. You're not _that_ clueless." She sighed.

"Fine then, make your point."

"What I'm seeing here is two people who are in love with each other, know each other better than anyone else, trust each other with their lives and have a child together. What I'm not seeing is why that isn't a perfect scenario for happiness." I was beginning to lose my patience.

"It just…isn't, Angela."

"Newsflash, Bren – the only reason it isn't is because you say so! You've never even admitted you love him to his face before – how could you possibly know that it wouldn't work? You two have skirted around this issue, pretending like it didn't exist for seven years! And now you have a child together, a perfect little girl who deserves to see that her parents don't just love her, but they love each other too! Because you two do love each other. And so what if you have issues – everyone has issues! Do you want to teach your daughter that it's better to ignore your problems than to face them and try to solve them?" She shook her head. "I didn't think so."

"He doesn't want me anymore, Angela." She said, wiping tears from her eyes. "He calls me…he calls me 'Brennan'. He doesn't call me 'Bones' anymore. I don't mean anything to him anymore." I hadn't even noticed that he'd stopped using her nickname. I think we'd all underestimated how much that name meant to her.

"That doesn't mean he doesn't love you, Brennan. You hurt him, and sure he doesn't look at you the same way as he used to, but that doesn't mean that will last. What you need to do is be completely honest with him, show him that _you're_ ready to put _your_ heart on the line for _him_!"

"It doesn't make sense to open all of this up if I'm just going to leave." She shook her head.

"Makes more sense than leaving it closed indefinitely." Her eyes told me that she knew I was right. Of course I was. That didn't mean she wasn't going to poke holes in my reasoning to satisfy her denial further.

"But what if he rejects me?" There was fear in her eyes.

"He won't, Bren." I tried to reassure her, but somehow I felt it was falling upon deaf ears.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just am. But how will you know if I'm right or wrong if you don't try?"

"So you're saying I have to go to Booth and tell him I love him? Even though I don't know whether I will love him forever?"

"Well that's the truth, isn't it?" She nodded. "Then yes."

"That doesn't sound like something a man would like to hear."

"Believe me, Booth wants to hear it. He doesn't think you love him at all."

"That can't be true. Booth can read people, especially me, like books. There's no way he wasn't aware of the mutual attraction. Not if _I _of all people was."

"Well did you ever do anything to show him you were attracted to him?"

"I kissed him. Twice, actually. But the second one wasn't because we were attracted to each other." Wait…what? My jaw dropped, practically hitting the floor in fact. There was no way…how did I never find out about this?

"Seriously? When? How could you not tell me?"

"Yes, seriously, Angela. The first time was when we first met, but we were drunk. You remember how hung-over I was the following morning. He got me drunk so he could sleep with me, or at least that's what I thought. I was…I was ashamed of that kiss when I woke up the morning after, so I didn't tell you about it." How could she be ashamed of kissing Booth?

"Wow. How was it?"

"It was what you would expect from a kiss with a man to whom you're attracted."

"So it was hot?" I smirked. She nodded, tentatively.

"Based upon what I've gathered to be your definition of 'hot', yes." She smiled a little. How could she not, if she was recalling a hot kiss with Booth?

"And what about the second time? Don't tell me that was the one I heard about at Christmas 2007, under the mistletoe in your office." She nodded again. "How did you never tell me about that? _That_ wasn't drunken, I'm assuming?"

"No, it wasn't, but that one didn't happen because we wanted it to. Caroline Julian blackmailed me into it; she said if I kissed Booth she'd give my imprisoned family a trailer for Christmas. We had no choice."

"A kiss is still a kiss." I quoted from the Sinatra song. Of course, she wouldn't pick up on that.

"It was of no consequence, Angela. Our first kiss meant more, and that meant very little to me to begin with." I didn't believe that.

"How can your first kiss with the love of your life mean very little to you?"

"It was alcohol-induced. It wouldn't have happened if I had been in the right frame of mind. I wasn't able to be in the same room as him for a full year after that, either." She shook her head. "And don't...don't call him the love of my life. You know I'm not certain that he is yet."

"Brennan, he _is_ the love of your life. Do you think you'll ever find a man you'll love like you Booth?" She shook her head.

"There's no way I can know. I never anticipated meeting Booth. I could meet another man tomorrow and end up loving him even more than I love Booth, being able to picture myself with him forever, having a family with him. But I would have never seen that coming, because to be perfectly honest I don't think I'll ever be able to do that. However I didn't think it was possible for me to connect with any man like I did with Booth, but I was proven wrong, so I can't rule anything out." She shook her head, seemingly confusing herself now.

"Well based on that, don't you think it's entirely possible that you could spend the rest of your life with Booth? I mean, if you don't know what true love feels like, how do you know that this isn't it?"

"I don't know, Angela. That's my problem!"

"Look, I'm not going to keep telling you this: you can't _know_ everything. Sometimes you just have to take a chance, gamble a little. If you don't take that risk, it's worse than taking it and losing it, because there's always that 'what if?' element, hanging over you. Wouldn't it be better to know for sure that it couldn't work, than to live like you are now, tormented by the prospect of the unknown?" She looked into my eyes, and I could see something finally giving in. A wall was crumbling; it was the wall that had supported her web of denial all this time. Something had clicked within her. A penny had dropped.

"It's the only way I'll ever know." She nodded. "The only way to answer a question is to ask it."

"Exactly." I smiled brightly. Finally, a revelation. "So you have to ask him. You have to put yourself out there. Before you leave."

"Fine." She nodded. "But if this doesn't work out, I'm blaming you."

"Fine by me." I smirked. This was definitely progress.

"Thanks, Ange. For letting me use your office, for minding Olwyn, for this." I nodded as she got up.

"It's not a problem, Bren." I smiled. "It's all worth it if it contributes to the greater good." She rolled her eyes, smiling. Somehow I don't think she believed in a greater cosmic balance like I did.

"Look I have to go. I have to pick up the rental car soon and I have to buy some groceries; my apartment is understandably bare." She said, making for the door.

"You're going to see him later, aren't you?" She nodded.

"I said I'd pick Olwyn up from his apartment at six." She didn't appear entirely happy about that.

"I guarantee you he'll be in a better mood."

"You can't-"

"Yes, I can. Trust me." She sighed.

"Fine." She was beginning to accept that I did tend to know best when it came to her and Booth.

"That's more like it." I continued to smile. She sort of returned it.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Ange." She said, pushing the door open.

"I look forward to it." I grinned as she left. I couldn't believe what I'd gotten out of her in the space of a few minutes.

Brennan had definitely changed those past few years. I wasn't sure if it was because of the fact she was now a mother or because she'd lived for three years without Booth. Probably a combination of the two. Whatever it was, she had evolved into a better person. What she had done three years previously was inexcusable, but the fact that she was only paying for it now didn't mean she would do the same thing if put in that position again, today. She had grown; she had a new perspective on life in general. She may have still feared loving Booth and hurting him – or being hurt herself – but I think she was a little more open to the possibility now than she was before she left.

Personally, I was brimming with hope for those two. I knew Booth was still madly in love with her, in spite of the immense hurt she'd caused him. It might take a little while for either of them to be able to see that properly, but I was sure of it.

I walked over to my desk, clicking my mouse to bring my computer monitor to life again. I opened my email and began to type a message to Sweets. He was definitely going to want to hear about this...

**A/N - I hope you guys liked that one ^_^ As my pseudo-muse Sadhbh pointed out to me, the last six chapters all took place on the one day, and this is kind of dragging a little. Worry not if you also think this is the case - the next chapter (and possibly the one after, if I decide to split it in two if it gets too long...because believe me a lot is going to happen in that part) is the last to take place on this day (which is, by the way, a Friday, in case you were wondering). There'll be one about Saturday, then Sunday is the Wedding :P and I'm not going to go into what happens after that... A lot happened on this Friday, in fairness, so I couldn't really leave anything out :D**

**Reviews make Megan happy :) So go on, share your thoughts...make my day ^-^**


	11. Daddy's Little Genius

**A/N - Okay I'm going to start by apologising profusely for my extended absence! Life has been busier than I ever expected these past few months, and I've been spending a lot of my time writing my blog - La Vie En Ross - so this fic has taken, unfortunately, a backseat! But hopefully I'll post more frequently from now on!**

**I hope you all stick with this story, because I won't continue it if the reviews etc. don't come in...I can't justify spending all this time on a story no one's reading!**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, if you're reading it! Please let me know with a review...it really doesn't matter if it's only a couple of words :D**

**Chapter Eleven – Daddy's Little Genius **

"What you wait for, Daddy? Let's go swings!" I smiled as my daughter led me out of Angela's office.

"Yeah, let's go." I agreed, as she tugged on my hand. It had been a long time since fingers that small had squeezed around mine. She led the way, even though I'm fairly sure she didn't know where we were going. I subtly guided her towards the parking lot, back to my car, as she babbled away about the swings. Five years of working with her Mommy had taught me that it was better to let her think she was in charge.

Her car-seat was still fitted in the car, so it was just a matter of strapping her in when we got there. She was so little, but you wouldn't think it from the way she spoke, from her personality. It made me wonder what she was like when she was even smaller. I hated that I would never really know. But I tried to look on the bright side – at least I had the chance to get to know her now. At least I had the rest of my life left with her. What was two years in the grand scheme of things? It was something, sure, but it wasn't everything. Far from it.

As soon as she was sitting comfortably, I closed the back door and got in myself.

"Olwyn, before we go to the park and the swings, we just need to make a quick stop at Daddy's work, is that okay?" I had left my cell phone in my office, only realising this as I went to set my alarm that night. I couldn't really do without it much longer. Plus, I needed to explain the circumstances of my taking the day off to Agent Hacker, the guy I report to. It didn't feel right to call in sick when I honestly wasn't, especially when I was taking the weekend off for the wedding as well. I had a feeling that he wouldn't be happy to hear that I had a kid with Brennan. I'd always suspected that he had a thing for her; he met her once, shortly before I got sick, and ever since she'd left, he would constantly ask about how she was, if she was ever planning on coming back to visit. I didn't want to tell him that we weren't in contact, though I'm not sure why. Sweets would probably say it was because I too had a 'thing' for Brennan. I didn't want to think about whether I agreed with him right there and then. It was just...a mess.

"That 'kay." She nodded. "What you do at work?" She asked as I pulled out of the parking space.

"Daddy catches bad guys. Bad guys who do very bad things." That's how I explained it to Parker, though that question came when he was four or so.

"So you like a superhero?" I caught a glimpse of her eyes widening in the rear-view mirror. "Like Wonder Woman?" I laughed. Of course that was the first superhero she would think of.

"Well, more like Superman." I smirked.

"My Daddy's Superman!" She exclaimed.

"Well not quite, Olwyn. It's not quite that glamourous. I'm like a police man, except a lot cooler. A _lot_ cooler." I had to make that distinction.

"It a secret? Cos Superman can't tell no one who he is."

"Well I'm not actually Superman, sweetheart."

"Well you like Superman."

"Yeah, I'm like Superman. A little." I smiled.

"Okay." She giggled.

She talked away the whole way to the Hoover Building, mostly asking questions about me. She was very curious to find out all about her Daddy, and I was equally curious about her. I was relieved at how well she was taking all of this. She seemed to have immediately accepted me as her father, with no objections or confusion. I was sort of thankful that she was Brennan's kid – not many two year olds would be able to understand this like she did.

A few minutes after we arrived, we found ourselves exiting the elevator on my floor. People gave me sort of strange looks – what was I doing with a two year old girl? Most of them said nothing, assuming whatever it is they wanted to assume. Most, but not all. As the two of us approached my office, we bumped into a familiar face.

"Oh hey Chéri." Caroline greeted me, with a smile on her face. That smile quickly turned to a look of confusion when she noticed Olwyn at my side.

"Oh, hi Caroline." I muttered, as she examined Olwyn's little face with her legally-trained eyes.

"Is this..._your _little girl?" I nodded, slightly nervously for some reason I can't quite explain.

"Yeah, this is my little girl." It felt odd to say this, still. "This is Olwyn."

"Hello." Olwyn said, seeming a little intimidated by Caroline. I didn't blame her.

"Wait. Isn't that the name of the lady scientist's daughter?" She asked, her eyebrow lifting. I nodded. "Oh, I get it." Her mouth cracked into a wide grin.

"Yeah, Brennan's her mom." I conceded. She was never going to let me forget this. I could hear her saying 'I told you so!' ringing in my ears before she'd even said it.

"Oh, this day just keeps getting better." She chuckled. "I have to go, but believe me we will be talking about this at a later date, Chéri. You can count on it."

"Don't I know it." I sighed as she walked away, that grin still plastered across her face.

"Daddy, who that?" Olwyn asked once Caroline was gone, a confused look on her face.

"Oh that's just Caroline, sweetie, someone I work with."

"Okay." She nodded, seemingly satisfied with this answer, as I led her to my office.

"This is my office." I announced, pushing the door open for her. She toddled in, looking around. She wandered over to my desk. She pointed up at the bobble-head.

"What's that?" She asked. I picked it up, handing it to her.

"It's a bobble-head. I got it in London when I went there with your Mommy. Look, his head bobbles up and down." She giggled again.

"Me and Mommy go to London before." She said.

"Really?" She nodded.

"I liked it lots." She said, as she shook the bobble-head, smiling as its head bounced to and fro. Holding onto it she began to explore more of the room, while I went over to my desk drawer to retrieve my cell phone.

"Who that?" She asked inquisitively, pointing up at a photo of Parker. I walked over and took the photo down from the shelf where it sat, crouching down to her level and showing it to her. She put the bobble-head down on the ground and took the frame into her hands.

"That's Parker. He's your big brother." She put her little hand on his face. Unfortunately all she could feel was glass.

"Brother? I have...big brother?" She furrowed her brow, not quite sure what to make of it.

"Yeah, he's coming to the wedding. You'll be able to see him there."

"I like have a big brother. I no have one before."

"Well Parker's never had a little sister, either."

"He very big?" She asked, looking at me.

"He's twelve years old." Her eyes widened.

"That very,very big." She said, astounded. "I no count to twelve with my fingers!" I laughed.

"That's right. He's a big boy."

"He like me?" She asked.

"Even better, he _loves_ you. And you'll love him. He's gonna be a great big brother." I could say this without another thought, because I knew it was the truth. Sure, Parker didn't know about Olwyn yet, but just as Brennan had been able to say I loved her before I knew about her, I could say the same for him. How could he not? He had always wanted a little brother or sister, anyway. I had a feeling he was going to take this news pretty well. At least I hoped so. It felt nice to be able to share all of this with Olwyn, even though I wasn't sure how much of it she really understood. She seemed to be taking it all in pretty well, anyway.

"And I be his sister!" She said, proudly.

"That's right! You're his little sister! He's very lucky to have a wonderful little sister like you." I smiled, and she reflected it right back to me. I took the photo from her, placing it back up on the shelf. "Now, let's just go to see Daddy's boss and then we can go to the swings."

"Yay!" She giggled, as I lifted her up. "No, I walk!" She protested. I put her down on the ground. "Thank you, Daddy." She beamed up at me. "I like walk better." She was fiercely independent for her age. Why was I not surprised?

I knocked on the door.

"Come in." Came a familiar voice from inside. I pushed the door open, walking in. "Ah, Booth! It's good to see you." Hacker smiled. "And who's this?" He directed his attention to Olwyn, who was standing a little behind me.

"This is Olwyn, my daughter." Hacker seemed quite surprised.

"I didn't know you had a daughter."

"Well she lives with her Mom in Dublin so I don't see her very much." I dropped in a not-so-subtle hint.

"Dublin? She's not..." I nodded.

"Temperance's daughter? Yeah, she is." I was less reluctant to admit this to Hacker, for some reason. His jaw dropped slightly.

"...I had no idea the two of you were together." He blushed a little.

"It's... a long story." I shook my head. "Listen, I just found out this morning that Brennan was in town...do you think it'd be okay if I took the day off to spend with my little girl? I know I'm taking this weekend off but...I mean, if something comes up, I'll come back but, you know, I've no case at the moment..."

"Yeah sure, Booth. No problem. Just...just count it as one of your personal days." He nodded, still reeling slightly from the 'news' that Brennan and I had 'slept together'. Yeah, because that had happened. I didn't really matter – he could assume whatever he wanted. I wasn't going to explain the truth to him, in any case. Not then, in front of Olwyn, and probably not ever. It wasn't as if he knew Brennan all that well anyway.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

There was an awkward silence for a moment.

"Okay, well we're going to get going then..." I said, heading back out the door.

"Yeah, sure. Enjoy your day." He smiled a little, but I could see it wasn't entirely genuine.

"Bye bye." Olwyn said cheerfully, completely oblivious to the tension between the two of us.

"Bye bye." Hacker gave her a little wave. She returned it as we walked out of the room.

"Higher, Daddy!" She called back to me, as I pushed her on the swings. We'd been at the park for a half hour, but she hadn't tired of the swings yet. The place was near deserted, with a couple of little kids out with their Moms or nannies. It had been a long time since I'd been at a playground. I missed the days when Parker was still this small. He was growing up way too fast.

After a few more minutes of pushing, Olwyn finally seemed to have had enough of the swings.

"Daddy, want get out now." She announced. I slowed the swing down, and once it came to a halt, lifted her out, placing her on the ground.

"What do you want to go on now, sweetie?" She shook her head.

"I no want go on the other things."

"Okay, you wanna go somewhere else?" She nodded. I looked at my watch; it was nearly one o'clock. "You hungry?" She nodded again. "You wanna go get some lunch?"

"Yeah!" She smiled. "I hungry!" She took my hand as I led her out of the park.

"What do you like to eat?" She tilted her head, thinking for a moment.

"I like spaghetti." She stumbled over the word, but got it out better than I expected.

"You wanna go get some spaghetti?" She nodded furiously. "Okay, then let's go get some spaghetti."

"Yay!" She giggled. I loved it when she giggled like that. It was the most adorable sound in the world.

"So is spaghetti your favourite food?" I asked her as we wandered down the winding path to the little street where I'd parked the car.

"No I like pancakes the best. And strawberries. I like strawberries lots." She smiled. "But I no like them for lunch. That be silly."

"Yeah, spaghetti's better for lunch, isn't it?" She nodded.

"Daddy what you favourite food?" She asked.

"Hmm…probably pie. Apple pie, to be precise. You know what that is?"

"Course I do Daddy I no stupid." Ha, as if _anyone_ could ever think that. When your kid is able to tell you they're not stupid at two years old, you kind of have to take their word for it.

"Oh I know that, sweetie. You're very smart, just like your Mommy is."

"My Mommy's the smartest person in the whole world." She said, quite matter-of-factly. Well, she had some competition by the looks of things.

"Did she tell you that?" I smirked. It wouldn't be surprising if she had.

"No, I just know 'cos she know _everything_." She explained.

"You're right there, Olwyn." I laughed. Well, almost. There were a few things I wondered if Brennan could ever learn. Like how not to break a man's heart – or crush it, as she would say.

"You smart, Daddy?" She asked.

"Not like you or your Mommy, no. But I'm not totally stupid, either."

"No, I know that." She smiled. "You no stupid, you my Daddy!" If only this opinion would stay with her her whole life.

We reached the car, and like before I strapped her into her car seat in the back before sitting down in the driver's seat myself. All the while, she continued to ask questions.

"Daddy why you sit on the wrong side of the car?" She asked, her brow slightly furrowed.

"I'm not on the wrong side, sweetheart."

"No when Mommy drive at home, she sit in the other seat. Why the wheel on the wrong side in your car?" Well you couldn't fault her observational skills, anyway.

"Oh, well here the cars are all like this."

"That silly. It like backward land." She giggled.

"It is silly, isn't it?" I smiled. There was a lot going on in that little head of hers. I loved that she was so smart; it was weird, alright, but I couldn't have imagined her any other way. It was probably impossible for Temperance Brennan _not_ to have a genius of a child. It surprised me that my genes hadn't interfered with her brilliance though. I kind of hoped that she had inherited more than just physical attributes from me. I liked to think I mattered a little bit more than that.

Either way, I was determined to make sure that I did matter more to her from that moment on. I was prepared to do whatever it took.


	12. If It Isn't Broke, You Can't Fix It

**Chapter 12 – If It Doesn't Exist, You Can't Fix It.**

It was about four o'clock by the time Booth and Olwyn arrived back at the former's apartment. The little girl hadn't run out of steam just yet, eagerly exploring her 'Daddy's house' for the first time. Of course her attention was immediately drawn by the large collection of DVDs that lined the shelf below Booth's widescreen.

"Monsters!" She exclaimed, obviously recognising a film. Booth hurried over, not sure if she was afraid or not. She fumbled to remove the case from the shelf, presenting the film "_Monsters, Inc._" to him.

"It's okay, it's just a film." He tried to reassure her.

"I know I know we can watch!" Ah, she wasn't afraid. Of course. "Kitty!" He smirked. So Brennan hadn't deprived their kid of television, after all. They had two hours left before she would show up to collect Olwyn, precisely on time at six. Might as well make the most of it.

"Okay, we watch." He took the film from her with a smile, crouching down to switch the DVD player on and insert the disc. She clapped happily, running over to the sofa and clambering up as best she could. She required a bit of a leg-up from Booth when he was finished setting up the TV for the film.

She snuggled right up to him as the film came on. She was such a loving little girl. There was so much about her that was Brennan all over, but he had to wonder where her open heart came from. He hoped it wouldn't fade away like her mother's.

It wasn't long before the energy left the two of them, and they were dozing off half way through the film. Olwyn went first, although she tried to stay awake for a bit. Once she was out, it didn't take Booth too long to nod off too. They were a picture of peace and contentedness. Too bad the image didn't reflect reality.

As Booth had predicted, Brennan arrived two minutes after the clock struck six. She didn't like to keep people waiting, though perhaps in this instance she could have afforded to be 'rude'.

She rang the doorbell tentatively. Memories were flooding back to her, and that would only get worse once she entered the apartment.

Inside, the sound of the doorbell knocked Booth out of his slumber immediately. Thankfully, Olwyn didn't even stir. He gently lay her down on the sofa, against a cushion, and tip-toed out to the hallway and over to the door.

He knew Brennan was on the other side, and he knew that she'd probably heard him approaching, but he hesitated to open it still. Their last encounter had been so heated; he'd cooled down now. His more rational mind was telling him to just _talk_ to her, but his heart wasn't quite there yet. Perpetuating the tension wasn't going to get him anywhere, but it sure felt good to let all his emotions towards her out. Well, some of them. Others were probably never going to see the light of day as far as she was concerned.

Eventually, he reached for the doorknob and twisted it open. It took a moment for their eyes to meet. When they did, shivers ran through their spines. It was all Brennan could do not to let the floodgates in her eyes burst open once again. Booth didn't know what to say.

"Come in." He mumbled. She nodded slightly and obliged. He pushed the door to the living room open and Brennan smiled through her strained features. Booth had forgot to switch off the TV, which was running the menu screen of the DVD on an endless loop.

"She loves that film." Brennan said quietly, not staring at the screen but rather at her – their – sleeping daughter.

"She recognised it straight away on the shelf."

"Of course." She smiled again. "You must have had a good day, it takes a lot to tire her out."

"Yeah, we did a lot." He didn't elaborate. Olwyn would end up giving her chapter and verse on it all anyway.

"I feel bad waking her." She thought aloud.

"You don't have to yet, if you don't want to." She turned to him, a little confused. "I mean, do you want some coffee or something?" He didn't know what was making him reach out to her like that, but something felt right about it. She was equally puzzled by the gesture.

"Um, okay." She followed him out of the room through to the kitchen. She didn't need his guidance to get there – she'd walked between those two rooms more times than she could remember.

Maybe it was her subconscious, or merely a habit, but upon entering the kitchen, Brennan found herself immediately sitting down in the same seat she always sat in before. Booth noticed this too, but neither said anything about it.

Neither was sure how to feel. It was a familiar but altogether strange feeling, to be upset by fond memories. Normally one would expect to derive comfort or happiness from remembering good times, but neither liked to be reminded of the good times they'd shared. Shame filled Brennan when she remembered, anger overcame Booth. It was sad, but they'd almost become _bad_ memories.

Nevertheless, Booth allowed his memories to give him an excuse not to ask another question. He made the coffee and added a small drop of milk to Brennan's mug, before placing it in front of her. He hoped her taste hadn't changed in the last three years. If it had, it was her problem.

She lifted the mug to her lips, sipping the coffee and smiling a little. She liked that she still didn't have to tell Booth how she liked her coffee.

She placed the mug back in front of her, watching convection currents swirl the coffee around. Eventually she raised her head to meet Booth's eyes. He couldn't take them off her, as much as he have liked to be disgusted at her presence.

"I'm sorry, Booth." She blurted out. He turned his head away slightly.

"Better be." He didn't mean to say that.

"I don't expect you to ever forgive me, I did a stupid, horrible thing." A tear slid down her cheek, falling into the mug her head was bent over.

"You bet you did." He sighed. "But I wouldn't say never." She looked up again.

"What?"

"I know you didn't actually say 'never', but it would be stupid of me to never forgive you. It'll take time. I'm not there yet." He remained stern, to make sure the message got across.

"I understand. That's more than I could have expected." She smiled a little, but solemnly all the same.

"It'd be for Olwyn, not for you. She deserves more than to have her parents fighting all the time."

"Of course." She nodded. "She didn't do anything."

"Exactly." He took another sip of his coffee.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." She looked into his eyes, and he turned away again.

"You did."

"But I didn't mean to. It wasn't intentional." Her voice broke a little.

"But you still did." He almost spat, bitterly.

"Does it not make a difference that I was trying to spare your feelings?"

"Not really. I mean, since when have you been the best judge of emotional situations, Brennan?"

"I wish you wouldn't call me that." She said, almost silently.

"You're lucky I call you anything at all." He sighed.

"What happened to us, Booth?" She couldn't stop her tears now. Everything was just spilling out.

"You're asking _me_?" He said, incredulously. "Brennan, you happened."

"There is no 'us' without me."

"There never was an 'us'." He snapped. "There was 'you' and there was 'me' but there was never 'us'."

"Why?" She choked out.

"I don't know, Brennan. Maybe there could have been. Maybe there almost was. But you ruined any chance of that ever happening when you had my kid on the other side of the Atlantic."

Tears were streaming down her face. Why did everything have to be so awful? Why did she have to be such an idiot?

"Why can't we fix it?" She pleaded.

"It was never there to begin with."

"If it was never there, it was never broken, and therefore it can still happen."

"Not everything has to make sense! Logic isn't everything!" He shouted. "This was a mistake. This was all a mistake. I wish you'd never come into my life. You have ruined _everything_ for me! Now I have one kid living in another state, and another living on another continent! How do you think I feel about that?"

She was silent. Seconds later, they heard the pitter patter of little feet approaching the kitchen. Olwyn pushed the door open, rubbing her eyes.

"Daddy why you sad?" She asked, innocently, before noticing Brennan across the table from him. "Mommy! No crying!" She ran over to her mother's chair. Brennan lifted her onto her lap and held her close.

"It's okay sweetheart. No one is sad."

"Then why cry?" She asked, concerned.

"Because I'm silly, that's why." She forced a smile for her daughter's benefit. Olwyn giggled.

"You _are_ silly Mommy!" She smiled, nuzzling her head into her chest. There was something about her warmth that calmed Brennan down significantly. Booth remained silent as he watched their exchange.

"Okay, we're going to go now, sweetie." She stood up, shifting Olwyn in her arms.

"No I no want leave! Daddy!" She pointed at Booth.

"You'll see Daddy…tomorrow?" Booth nodded. She turned to speak to him. "I have to meet Angela tomorrow, can I drop her here around midday?"

"No problem." He nodded. It was difficult to shake off the resurgence of anger towards her, but for the sake of their child he had to. They all began to walk toward the front door.

"Okay, we'll see you then." She said, again with a forced smile. Olwyn seemed to be oblivious once more to the tension. Or at least they hoped she was. "Say bye bye to Daddy Olwyn!" Olwyn raised her little hand to wave as Booth opened the door.

"Bye bye Daddy. Love you." She said, smiling brightly.

"Bye bye honey." He stroked her cheek with his hand. "See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." She repeatedly, slowly. It was a big word, even for her.

Brennan nodded at Booth, and they left without another word.

**A/N – Ugh I apologise once again for the horrid amount of time between chapters. Life has been quite busy in the last few months, plus getting time to write this has been hampered by my blog (La Vie En Ross), which I'm writing for every day this year…**

**But I'm on holidays in France now so hopefully I'll get time to write a few more chapters **

**Reviews would be extremely welcome!**


	13. All Talk

**Chapter 13 – All Talk**

Six o'clock on a Friday afternoon. Time for a bit of relaxation for Lance Sweets. It had been a long week, and all he wanted to do was sit down and play with his six month old daughter Avery until her bedtime, then curl up on the sofa with his wife.

As he turned the key in the door of his apartment, he felt his phone begin to buzz in his pocket. He fumbled to retrieve it as he pushed the door open, and knew as soon as he saw the caller ID that it wasn't going to be a short conversation.

Daisy appeared from the kitchen and gave him a warm smile.

"Hey honey." He said, lifting the phone to take the call.

"Hi Lancelot, you coming in for dinner?" She asked, in a sing-song voice.

"I really need to take this call from Booth. I'll explain in a bit, it's just really important." He said, apologetically. She nodded, understandingly. She knew Booth was having issues at the moment.

He hit 'answer', just as he expected the phone would stop ringing.

"Hey Booth, what's up?" He knew exactly what was 'up'.

"Sweets I really need to talk. Brennan arrived in DC today, with Olwyn. You can guess what's 'up' from there." He sounded more distressed than Sweets had been expecting. "I don't want to do this over the phone, can we meet to talk or something?" Booth had really come to see Sweets as a close friend those past few years. He wanted to talk, but not because Sweets was a psychologist, because he was among his best friends now.

"I've literally just arrived home, Booth. But you're more than welcome to come over here if you'd like." He couldn't face going out again.

"I'm on my way over." Booth paused. "Thanks, Sweets."

"Not a problem." He smiled, though still very concerned for his friend. He hadn't heard him sound so desperate for help in a long time, not since he was sick. "See you soon."

Their phone conversation ended there. He walked into the kitchen.

"Hello again." He smiled, hugging Daisy close, then moving over to place a kiss on Avery's forehead. She was sitting in a high chair, eagerly awaiting her dinner.

"Hey Lance." Daisy said, a tinge of concern in her voice. "Is Booth okay?"

"No, Brennan came back today and told him about Olwyn. It does seem like he's taking it too well." Lance shook his head.

"It's so sad. I hope the two of them can work it out."

"Me too. Now listen, if he asks, you knew nothing about any of this. I wasn't supposed to tell you that Olwyn was his kid." She nodded.

"Gotcha." She smiled. "Now, you want some pasta?"

Less than a half-hour later, Booth arrived at Sweets' apartment. He didn't hesitate to ring the bell for a second, not like he'd hovered behind the door earlier on.

Sweets answered the door with a look of concern upon his face.

"Hey Booth, come in." He greeted him. Booth nodded, and followed him inside. Daisy came out for a moment to say 'Hi', and Booth returned the gesture somewhat half-heartedly, before Sweets led him into his study for some privacy.

"Thanks for doing this for me Sweets. I know you'd probably prefer to relax with your kid and Daisy right now." Booth said apologetically.

"This is important too Booth." Was all Sweets said. Yes, he'd rather be playing with Avery right now, but he did that every evening. And what was one evening missed with his infant compared to the two years of Olwyn's life that Booth lost? "So tell me what happened."

Booth began to recount the day's events, starting with his running into Brennan and Olwyn in the Royal Diner, and ending with what had just taken place in his apartment. Sweets nodded, sometimes shaking his head at the ridiculousness of it all.

"…The weird thing is, I don't know how I should feel about this. I'm a mess, Sweets. On the one hand I'm fuming at Brennan. Not only did she do all that shit that I knew she'd done to me before, but she also had my kid! _My_ kid! In Dublin, for two years without a single word. I don't even want to look at her." He spat out, then his tone softened. "But then on the other hand, now I've got Olwyn. She's just…perfect. She's crazy smart, adorable, the sweetest little thing. She got the best of both of us. And I love her so much already. I want to make this work, for her sake."

"I understand. You're torn between your anger at Brennan and the joy of having a child. And you _should_ want to make it work. I know this sounds naïve of me, but letting your emotions control everything you do isn't healthy. And not just the negative feelings. You should let yourself calm down and think rationally. It takes time, but you're better off taking it slowly and really fixing things, than rushing in and making a mistake."

"But I don't have time! They're here for two weeks before they go back to Dublin! There's too much damage here to be fixed in two weeks." He didn't like to think about the fact that he'd have to say goodbye to Olwyn in two weeks' time, either. It was like Parker all over again. He'd promised himself he wouldn't let this happen again.

"Is there really?" Booth's gaze shot up at him. "Listen, just hear me out. You and Brennan, you need to sit down and really _talk_ about what happened. I can facilitate that if you'd like." Booth nodded slightly. "A lot of this has to come down to forgiveness. I know you're probably not ready to do that yet, but what more can you do than talk to her? And maybe…give a little. Let her show you that she's changed. Give her a chance."

"She doesn't deserve it."

"I know. And you've had to put up with a lot of crap, I get that. But Brennan has changed a lot since she left. Maybe you haven't got a chance to appreciate it yet, but motherhood has changed her. For the better. She's a warmer person. And she realises her mistake."

"But…I want her to know the pain I've felt in the last couple of years, you know? I want her to understand all the shit she's put me through."

"I know, that's natural. But where's that going to get you two? You want to fix things. That's destructive, rather than constructive."

"It doesn't seem fair, that she should get away with it."

"But she hasn't. Imagine how you've felt for the last few years. Now imagine being the _cause_ of all that. She's had to live with the pain of not knowing what the hell to do about this. She's been keeping this horrible secret from you and knowing it's hurting you, but how much could she really do about it? And she's been living with the fear of exactly this happening, too. You're entitled to react exactly as you have, but that doesn't make anticipating it at the other end any easier."

"You're making it sound like she's the victim here."

"Honestly, I think you both are. You forget that you told Dr. Brennan it was okay for her to have your kid without you. It was too late to reverse the situation once she realised you were sick."

"She didn't have to leave."

"That was also a mistake, but again it wasn't an easy situation to be in. She wasn't ready to raise a child with you, and it would have been unthinkable for you to watch your child grow up and for you not to be her father. It was an extremely emotional period for Dr. Brennan, everything was thrown out, and she was pregnant. It's not all that surprising that she took the opportunity to leave, when you consider her history." Sweets sighed. "A child in the foster system, she learned to live independently of others. She was used to having to leave when things got rocky. Hell, her parents abandoned her as a child, after having already changed her identity as a toddler. Does that sound like the history of a person all that willing to attach themselves to any situation, let alone one they are very uncomfortable with?"

"I guess not. It still doesn't excuse her behaviour."

"Not entirely, but it makes it easier to understand, right?"

"A bit. But I mean, you say I should talk to her about all this, yeah? Can you imagine Brennan admitting any of that? She doesn't open up, to anyone. She never talks about how she feels."

"You shouldn't assume that. Like I said, she's changed since you last saw her. Give her the benefit of the doubt, give her a chance. I promise you, she'll surprise you."

"Maybe." Booth huffed. It wasn't something he particularly wanted to do, but deep down he knew it was necessary. They had to talk. Like, really _talk_. There was some serious shit to be dealt with.

"And what about your feelings for Dr. Brennan?"

"Consider them irrelevant." Booth shook his head.

"They're not, though. When you love someone, that doesn't just go up in smoke when something like this happens. I mean, how do you feel about the fact that the two of you have a child together, regardless of the other circumstances?"

Booth was silent for a moment, considering his answer.

"I suppose she's not the last person I'd choose to have a kid with." Sweets smirked.

"So you _like_ that you and her are Olwyn's parents?"

"Well, like I said, she's not the worst person to father a kid with. Honestly, I love Olwyn. But if I was going to have a kid with Brennan I'd have preferred to do it properly, you know."

"I know, I know. You're a traditional sort of guy, I get that. Dr. Brennan, well she isn't all that traditional. But look how well her 'traditional family' served her. She was alone by the time she was 15."

"No reason to think that it couldn't work for us."

"She didn't know you felt like that. I mean, I have no doubt she loves you as much as you love her, but how could she possibly know that you reciprocated her feelings?"

"I never told her." Booth sighed. "I should have never let her have my stuff."

"You weren't in the correct state of mind to be making that decision in the first place, but you had no reason to believe that that was the case. It was unfortunate, but its consequences weren't all bad."

"Of course not. And I do want to move forward from all this eventually."

"Why don't you tell her _that_? I mean, if you aren't ready to tell her about your feelings."

"And I'm not." Booth affirmed. "But how are we supposed to make this work if she lives on the other side of the Atlantic? It wouldn't be fair to ship Olwyn between the two of us, and Brennan probably can't move back here."

"Honestly, I don't know. That's something you and Dr. Brennan need to work out between the two of you."

Booth paused once again. He stared out into space, contemplating it all. It had been a long, long day. This morning he woke up with sorrow playing a tiny violin in some little corner of his brain, as he did every morning, but since, it had grown to a full-blown orchestra, playing so loud he couldn't think of anything else. It had some joyful movements now and then, but for the most part it was a confused sort of sound. It didn't know what it was playing.

"I'm seeing her again tomorrow. She's dropping Olwyn to me before meeting Angela. I won't get a chance to talk to her then."

"Maybe afterwards, when she's picking her up. Like this evening."

"Only better than this evening, I should hope."

"Definitely. What happened today didn't sound constructive at all." Booth shook his head.

"It was my fault. I shouldn't have invited her in if I wasn't ready to listen to her. " Booth bowed his head slightly. "I mean, for a second I almost let her in. I told her not to say that I'd _never_ forgive her. But then it was almost like I took it all back. I was confused, I didn't know what I wanted to do."

"Well work it out before you see her again. Mixed messages aren't helping anyone." Booth nodded.

"I know, I know." He exhaled loudly. "I really wish this hadn't happened, Sweets. Well, I don't, because then we wouldn't have Olwyn, but I wish it hadn't happened like _this_."

"It's too late to change what's happened, you know that. But you can work to move past it, to make everything right again. I know it's not your fault, but Dr. Brennan can't fix this on her own either." Booth nodded again.

"There's two of us in this. Three, actually." His heart warmed slightly at the vague possibility of them being a family together. It was quite unlikely, but sometimes our wildest dreams are our greatest source of comfort.

That said, the only obstacles standing between it happening were him and Brennan.

"We could be great together." Booth was more thinking aloud than actually talking to Sweets. "Brennan and Me, with Olwyn. I always had it at the back of my mind, you know? That maybe someday we'd overcome whatever it was that was stopping us from getting together and just…be together. I don't think a couple should stay together entirely for the sake of a child, that's not healthy for anyone. But Brennan and me…it's not so crazy, is it?" He turned to Sweets this time.

"Not at all. Not if you don't think it is." Sweets smiled. He hadn't heard Booth talk about Brennan like this since…well, ever.

"I think she does."

"You haven't spoken to her about it, though."

"No, that's true. But then again I can't imagine Brennan just up and admitting whatever feelings she has, if any. I know you said she's changed and all, but it still doesn't seem like her."

"Well, this isn't something you should open the conversation with, anyway."

"No…this is more down the line. This isn't something we're going to fix and just move on from. We're connected forever now. We have to live with this situation, whatever it becomes." Booth sighed. He was sighing a lot lately. "What you said, about facilitating us talking. Do you think you could do that? I just think it would be better if we started somewhere solid. I'm not sure we could do it entirely on our own. Or at least, that I could."

"Absolutely. If Dr. Brennan agrees to come, I can sit down with the two of you as early as tomorrow."

"That might be a bit soon. Maybe…maybe I'll get back to you on a time."

"Whatever you need, Booth. I'm here to help. You remember how we met in the first place, right?" He smiled.

"How could I forget? 'Couples counselling' we used to call it. It wasn't like that back then. Now…now it almost is." Booth smirked. "I know I'm hard on you sometimes, Sweets, but you're actually a lot better at this than I give you credit for. Thanks."

"You're welcome. There's nothing I want more than to see you two work this out. Especially because there's a kid involved."

"You've wanted us to get together since you met us, Sweets."

"Yeah, but fatherhood has made me appreciate this whole situation with a new mindset."

"Oh yeah, how's everything going with Avery? She's what, six months old now?" Sweets nodded.

"Almost seven." He said, proudly. Avery was the first blood-relation he'd really had in at least twenty years. He loved her more than life itself. He spent every free moment he had with her, not wanting to miss a thing. Which reminded Booth that he should probably let Sweets get back to his life.

"I should really let you get back to her." He smiled. He almost envied Sweets and the fact that he and Daisy were happily married and raising their baby girl together. It was almost like what he and Brennan could have had.

"There's no rush."

"You're lying." Booth laughed, as he made for the door. "What I would give for Olwyn to be her age again." He sighed, ever so slightly.

"You've still got a whole lifetime ahead of you with her." Sweets was an eternal optimist. "And she loves you already, you said it yourself. She's not even going to remember the first two years of her life in ten years' time." Booth smiled, opening the door to leave.

"I suppose you're right." He said, half-heartedly. He knew that in the greater scheme of things, he was entering Olwyn's life early. But nothing could replace all he'd missed, no matter what way you looked at it.

Daisy came out of the living room, carrying Avery. Avery was bigger than Booth remembered – they grow so fast at that age – looking more like her Daddy with every passing day.

"Leaving already, Agent Booth?" Daisy asked, almost disappointed.

"Yeah, I've got to get home." To what? An apartment even emptier than it was this morning?

"That's a pity." She frowned a little. "We'll see you at the wedding, right?"

"Oh absolutely." He smiled. "Are you bringing Avery?"

"At first we weren't, you know 'cos she's so small, but Hodgins and Angela told us it was going to be an infant-friendly ceremony. Kind of has to be, after all, with the twins being so small too. Dr. Brennan's daughter is the flower girl, isn't she?" Daisy said, as innocently as possible. Sweets shot her a slight glare for a split-second. Booth didn't notice it.

"Uh, yeah, I think so. Her and Genevieve." Booth suddenly felt awkward. It was clear to him that Daisy didn't know the situation. It comforted him somewhat that Sweets hadn't told her. He wasn't ready to explain it to her, though.

"They'll be adorable!" Daisy squeed. "And Noah is the ring-bearer too! It'll all be so cute." Daisy couldn't help but get caught up in everything 'cute'. She was just that sort of person. "Is Parker coming too? Though I suppose he's not so little any more."

"Yeah, I'm picking him up from the airport tomorrow evening." Booth smiled. "And yeah, he's practically a teenager now. Or at least, he likes to act like it."

"They grow up so fast." Sweets mused.

"Listen, I should probably be going." Booth said, again mostly a lie. Sweets half-guessed this was the case, but went with it anyway, opening the front door on his behalf.

"It was good talking to you. If you need anything else, you know I'm all ears." Sweets said, echoing his earlier sincerity.

"Thanks, Sweets." Booth half-smiled. "I'll see you all soon." He gave a sort of wave to the three of them. Avery in particular returned it, gurgling 'bah bah' as he left.

When the door was shut behind Booth, Sweets turned to Daisy.

"What was that about?"

"What?"

"You, mentioning Olwyn like that. I thought we were going for the 'Daisy doesn't know anything about Olwyn being Booth's' angle." He said, annoyed. The last thing he needed was to lose Booth's trust.

"Yeah, and if I didn't know anything about it, there would be no reason for me to feel awkward mentioning her as Brennan's kid. I think I played innocent pretty well, anyway." Daisy defended, moving back towards the living room.

"He didn't seem suspicious, I don't think." Sweets admitted. "But jsut be careful. I just don't want him to think everyone else knew and he didn't. I mean, plenty of people know Brennan has a kid, but next to no-one knows she's Booth's." He warned.

"I didn't tell anyone, you know that. Trust me, Lance. I know you're the psychologist in this family, but I do know a thing or two about how to keep a secret."

"I do trust you. This is just such a sticky situation for all of us, but in particular Brennan and Booth. And Olwyn in the middle of it." He sighed, once again. How thankful he was that he and Daisy never had anything like their problems. He couldn't imagine missing not just Avery's life so far, but four times that long. It'd be unbearable. Not to mention the heartbreak both of them had gone through. He didn't know how they'd survived so long with it, without it consuming them.

"Honestly, I don't understand why Dr. B and Agent Booth never just told each other how they feel. It's not _that_ hard."

"Daisy, none of us understand. And I don't think we ever will."


	14. Civil War

**Chapter 14 – Civil War**

Saturday morning. The beginning of a new day. As per usual, Temperance Brennan was awake far earlier than necessary. While Olwyn slept, Brennan sat in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee and reading a newspaper online.

She had subscribed to all the online versions of the US newspapers when she'd first moved, and now she found herself reading the online edition of _The Irish Times_ in America. She had become more and more interested in Irish current affairs the longer she spent there. It was a tiny country, but she was quite fond of it. She'd have a hard time leaving it should the time ever come, and she had a feeling it would, sooner rather than later.

That particular morning, she found it rather difficult to concentrate on the articles in front of her. Playing on her mind always was Booth. She tried to push him out, just for an hour or so, but ultimately failed.

There was just so much to worry about. Would he ever _really_ forgive her? How were they going to make this work? Would he make her move back? Would they agree to shared custody? And what about how she felt about him? Would she admit it to him? He surely did not reciprocate her feelings. How would Olwyn feel about all this? Why did this have to happen?

Around eleven she woke Olwyn. It didn't take long to get her dressed and give her some breakfast. She was well-rested following her long day with Daddy. She had recounted every last detail to Brennan before bedtime. They had had a good time together. It warmed and broke her heart at the same time. How was she ever going to separate them again? How would Booth ever let her?

They arrived at Booth's apartment at precisely midday. Booth greeted them with a warm smile – both of them. Brennan couldn't help but be confused.

"Hey, Olwyn, Brennan." He said, scooping the little girl into his arms. "How are you?" He directed this at Olwyn.

"Good, Daddy." She replied, brightly. Booth walked with her towards the living room. Brennan followed.

"Olwyn, will you sit here for two minutes while I talk to Mommy?" She nodded as he placed her on the sofa where she'd dozed the previous evening.

"Ok." She beamed up at him. Brennan gulped a little. Was this all an act for Olwyn's sake? Was he going to give her more of what she got when they last spoke?

"Good girl." He patted her on the head, then gestured towards the hallway to Brennan. She obliged, and walked back out, a little nervously. Booth closed the door behind them. He turned to her.

"First, can I start by apologising for last night. I shouldn't have invited you in if I wasn't ready to, you know, listen to you or accept your apology. That was stupid of me." He said it with a humbleness that she hadn't heard in years.

"Booth, I think as far as stupidity goes, you're still a long way off of anything I've done recently." She said, laughing ever so slightly, her arms folded nervously. She found it a little difficult to look him in the eye. She felt like an awkward teenager all over again.

"I didn't help anything by saying what I said." He said, with a sort of finality to his tone. "Listen, Brennan, we have to do something about this situation. I mean, this isn't going away." She was confused as to exactly what he was getting at. "I mean, we have a _kid_ together. We need to work this out."

"I agree." She concurred, despite her confusion. Hey, they had to sort _every_thing going on between them out at some stage, didn't they?

"I was thinking, you know, if you want to do it this way, that we could sit down with Sweets at some point and talk about what's happened."

"That's very…progressive of you." She was surprised, considering how furious he'd been before. Maybe the night's sleep had done him some good.

"I'm still mad at you, and I'm still really upset about this whole situation. But we have a limited time-frame and a child to think about. We need to work this out and move past it." He had practiced these lines a million times before she arrived. He wanted to be as diplomatic as possible.

"I understand. It's a good idea. Although you know Sweets has his own opinions about the two of us."

"I think maybe the fact that he likes interfering in our lives might be of benefit here." They both smirked.

There was a moment of silence. It wasn't awkward.

"What time should I pick Olwyn up at?" Brennan broke the silence.

"Well, see, Parker's flight gets in at about four thirty-"

"Parker?" Brennan's face lit up. It had been almost three years since she seen him. She really missed him.

"Yeah, he's coming for the wedding. He's going to spend a week here before flying home. I don't see him as often as I used to, you know. He'll be with me for Christmas this year." She nodded. Another kid Booth had limited contact with, despite his own efforts. It was a most unfortunate situation.

"I'll be finished with Angela by half two, I imagine." They were just meeting to finalise arrangements before the big day. Brennan had, in spite of the distance, played an important enough role in organising the wedding. "I can pick up Olwyn before three, if that suits."

"Well, I was thinking of bringing Olwyn to meet Parker, actually." Booth suggested. "He's her brother, after all."

Brennan thought about it for a second.

"That's a good idea. But could I come too?" She chanced it. She really wanted to see Parker, and didn't particularly want to miss Olwyn meeting her brother for the first time, either.

Booth too paused to consider it.

"I guess so, it's no harm." He nodded. "And to be honest, Parker would like you to be there. He never understood why you left." Neither did Booth.

"I have missed him too." She admitted.

There was another silence, like before.

"I appreciate your being civil towards me, Booth. You would be very much justified in holding what I have done over me and not speaking to me." She said gratefully.

"Well, it's not about me. It's about Olwyn."

"Your feelings are very relevant too." She wasn't sure what she meant exactly by this, either.

"I know, but Olwyn comes first. We have to work out the best solution for her." She nodded in agreement.

"That's true." She paused. "Thank you, Booth." She smiled weakly, only because she found it difficult to look at him due to her own shame. Booth didn't really know how to respond, because he wasn't all that certain what she was thanking him for.

"I'll see you later Brennan."

"Before three." She affirmed. "I'll just say bye-bye to Olwyn before I go." He noticed her use of baby-talk. That was a far cry from 'dancing phalanges', her old concept of how to speak to an infant.

She pushed the door to the living room open, and Olwyn, who had patiently sat on the sofa for the past few minutes, ran over.

"Mommy!"

"Sweetie, Mommy has to go now. But I'll see you very soon." Olwyn didn't need any reassurances. She was too distracted by the rare treat of spending time with Daddy to be overly worried that Mommy was leaving.

"Okay, see you soon." She smiled up at her. Brennan was comforted by how at ease Olwyn was in Booth's company, and left without much hovering.

As she drove away, towards the Hodgins' house, she thought about her conversation with Booth. She'd been really impressed by his maturity and even-temperament while talking to her. It gave her reason to believe that sitting down with Sweets would lead to good things for both of them, or rather all three of them.

She pulled up outside Angela and Jack's house shortly afterward. She was greeted at the door by Angela, with Genevieve running up behind her. The last time Brennan had seen either twin, they were barely able to walk yet.

"Hey Brennan! How are you?" Angela exclaimed, and before giving her a chance to answer, "Where's Olwyn?"

"With Booth." Brennan smiled.

"Ah, right." She nodded, not sure what to take from it. She let Brennan in. "Have you just come from his place, then?"

"Yeah."

"And?" She drew out the word, expectantly.

"And what?"

"And is he still pissed?"

"He says that he is still mad at me and upset at the situation, but he's being quite mature about it all now. When I picked Olwyn up yesterday, he was 'pissed' as you say, but now he seems to be ready to work things out. He wants us to sit down with Sweets and talk about everything."

"That's great, honey! Before you know it everything will be fine between you two. Or even better than 'fine', if you know what I mean." She winked. Brennan knew exactly what she meant.

"That is very unlikely, Angela." She shook her head. Not in her wildest dreams could she imagine Booth having any feelings of the sort for her, not now. Though she would always have a sliver of hope left in her that he would, sometime.

"I wouldn't think so." Angela had heard this from both Booth and Brennan for years. She knew better.

"I don't know why you care so much anyway, Angela." Brennan sort of laughed.

"Because I'm your friend, and as I've told you many times, I just want to see you happy." Angela was almost fed-up saying it. It was certainly frustrating to watch two people who were blatantly in love with each other constantly deny it and be unhappy because of it. They both deserved better than that.

"I know you do, Angela. But it would be far too much for me to expect Booth to still love me." Brennan made it sound like she was sure of this. She wasn't. But that was just her optimistic side getting the better of her.

Angela shook her head. She didn't believe a word of it.

"Can we not talk about it anymore? Don't you have a wedding tomorrow?"


	15. Too Much Too Soon

**Chapter 15 – Too Much Too Fast**

That wasn't the last time Angela brought up Brennan's personal life, but they managed to get everything finalised before two-thirty. Angela had left the seating plan at their table, reserved for the small wedding party and their kids, until last. Brennan took issue with Angela placing her and Booth beside each other. Angela totally didn't see that coming. They eventually decided to place Parker and Olwyn in between the two of them, so that they were close but still had a certain amount of distance should they need it. Brennan was comfortable enough with that, and she was sure Booth would be too. Unless something major was to happen in the next 24 hours, which she doubted.

Angela was surprised to hear that Brennan was going to meet Parker at the airport with Booth and Olwyn. She was pleased to see that they were already doing things pretty much as a 'family', though Brennan vehemently denied that it was anything like that at all. Angela wasn't really convinced, but sure what else was new?

Brennan bid her adieu for the last time before the big day, and drove straight over to Booth's apartment. Her stomach fluttered on the drive over, that familiar ambivalent feeling overcoming her once more. This was the first time she'd considered that perhaps Parker wouldn't want to see her. She knew that Booth had said to the contrary, but how could she expect him to be happy about her departure? He didn't know the half of it, and yet he'd still be justified in being angry at her. And how would he feel about Olwyn? And how would Olwyn feel about Parker? Was this all too much at once?

There wasn't much talk when she arrived at Booth's. He was trying to tidy up the apartment a bit in light of Parker's arrival. It wasn't too messy to begin with, surprisingly enough. Well, not all that surprising considering Booth lived alone.

They were back on the road by three o'clock, with Booth driving his car and Brennan in the passenger seat. It was just like old times, only now they had Olwyn in the back-seat too. Booth seemed to have explained the concept of a brother to Olwyn already, and she couldn't wait to meet him. Brennan was relieved to see this. Booth was surprised Olwyn hadn't mentioned it to her Mommy earlier, given that he'd told her the previous day.

"You're sure Parker will want to see me?" Brennan asked, tentatively, as they drove towards Washington Dulles. Olwyn had dozed off in the backseat, surprisingly. They could talk freely.

"Yeah, he's always asking where you are."

"But he won't be angry with me, for leaving?"

"He might be." Booth said, curtly. "He doesn't have as much reason to be angry as I do, but he might be a bit confused, you know." She nodded. She was looking for reassurance, but appreciated his honesty more.

"And he doesn't know about Olwyn, does he?" Booth shook his head.

"Haven't had a chance to tell him since yesterday, surprisingly." Booth was losing civility with every passing minute. He'd have to rein himself in a bit before Parker arrived.

"Okay. It will be a surprise." Brennan nodded. She wasn't convinced it was a good idea to land Parker with all this on his arrival. It was a similar situation to Max's when she and Olwyn had arrived, but the difference was Parker was 12. Would it be too much for him?

"A good surprise." Booth affirmed, nodding. Brennan remained quiet for a few minutes.

"When would you like to meet with Sweets?" She asked.

"I guess Monday or Tuesday. As soon as possible after the wedding."

"Either works for me." She nodded in agreement. Booth kept his eyes fixed on the road.

"I'll work it out with Sweets then."

"Let me know when you do."

Brennan hated this tension. They had been so civil earlier on, and now Booth had snapped back to annoyance with her. Her ability to read people's emotions was limited enough as it was; Booth's mood-swings didn't help. Now, more than ever, she longed for the old days. When neither had any reason to hate the other.

They arrived at the airport a little before four. Early, as expected. It took a few minutes to awaken Olwyn, who was suddenly cranky. She was picking up on Daddy's mood, it seemed.

"No! No wanna get up!" She wrestled out of Brennan's arms as she tried to remove her from her car-seat. "Noo!" Her new favourite word, after 'why?'.

"Ssh, Olwyn. It's okay. We're going to meet your brother, remember? Remember Parker?" Brennan said, calmly. Booth couldn't resist observing how she dealt with this.

"No no wanna. No wanna." The toddler protested.

"Don't be silly, sweetie. You want to meet your brother, you know that."

"No." She said, definitively.

"Okay. We'll just drive back home then." Brennan said, maintaining her calm tone. She closed the back door of the car and sat in the driver's seat. "C'mon Booth." He played along, in spite of himself. He walked around and sat into the passenger seat.

"No no! Wanna meet Parker. Wanna go see brother." Olwyn had a sudden change of heart.

"Are you sure?" Brennan asked.

"Yes, I sure Mommy!" She sounded a little desperate. Brennan smirked, stepping out of the car. She had no trouble lifting Olwyn from her seat this time. Booth followed her out.

"Now, what do we say?" Brennan asked of her daughter, crouched down to her level on the ground.

"I sorry Mommy." Olwyn apologised. Brennan grinned at her.

"Thank you, sweetheart." She hugged her, standing up and lifting her simultaneously. Olwyn didn't protest this time, obviously too tired to want to walk this time. Booth got the impression that these incidents were fairly frequent. Brennan was well-practised in any case.

Booth didn't say a word, but the look on his face told Brennan that he was somewhat impressed by her behaviour. See? He could trust that she was raising their child well so far.

It was a bit of a walk to the arrivals hall from their space in the parking lot. Olwyn was surely grateful that she hadn't insisted on walking. It was busy – a few days before Christmas wasn't the best time to find yourself in an international airport. Olwyn placed her hands over her ears, a little overcome by the noise.

"Mommy I no like it here." She whispered loudly in Brennan's ear.

"It's okay, honey. It's just lots of people. See?" She directed her daughter's attention to all the people around them. "And we'll go as soon as Parker gets here."

"When get here?"

"Soon, I promise." Brennan checked her watch. It was four-fifteen already. Only a quarter of an hour left until the flight landed. Not that long, but to a toddler it could feel like a lifetime. Hopefully Parker wouldn't delay before coming through to them.

Miraculously, they found seats in view of the arrivals area. They could keep an eye on the screen which would indicate when Parker's flight had landed, as well as the doors he'd emerge from eventually. Olwyn clutched onto Brennan, dozing slightly in the heat of the crowded hall. Booth ran his fingers through her hair a couple of times, calming her. Not a word was uttered between Brennan and Booth, until Parker appeared.

Booth stood up as soon as the mess of sandy brown curls came into view.

"Parker's here." He couldn't help but smile. Olwyn became alert at the sound of these words.

"Parker!" She echoed. Brennan followed Booth over to greet his son.

Parker's eyes were searching the crowd for a familiar face. What he found was two. And another, smaller, not so familiar figure.

"Dad!" He called out, running over – suitcase wheeling behind him – into his father's embrace.

"Hey bud." Booth said, hugging him close. "It's good to see you." It was hard for him to put into words how good it felt to hold his son after all that had happened in the last day or so.

"And Dr. Bones!" Parker exclaimed, his attention turned to Brennan. Trust Parker to be the first to address her by her nickname since her return to DC.

"Hey Parker!" She smiled warmly at him. "Look at you, you're all grown up. I'd hardly recognise you." She was lying. He was easily the same boy she'd always known, but she'd observed this to be something adults said frequently to growing children when they hadn't seen them in a long time. But she was telling the truth when she said he'd grown up. He certainly wasn't the _little_ boy she knew. He was a bit taller, slightly more adult-looking. He still had a fair bit of growing left to do though.

"It's really good to see you, Dr. Bones." He bounced her smile back. "And who's this?" He asked, curiously, looking at Olwyn, who had silently observed the exchange.

"Olwyn!" She proclaimed. Brennan laughed, as they all started to head towards the doors to escape the crowds.

"This is my daughter, Olwyn."

"Wow, Dad never told me you had a daughter! How old are you Olwyn?" Parker took an immediate shine to the toddler he still had no idea was his sister.

"I two. You twelve." She said, matter-of-factly, as she tended to do. He laughed.

"How d'you know that already?"

"Daddy say." She pointed at Booth. The same word crashed into Brennan and Booth's minds at the same time: shit. They were hoping they'd get a chance to explain before this happened, even though in reality it was inevitable that they wouldn't.

Parker stopped in his tracks, turning to his father with a confused look on his face.

"Dad, what's she talking about?" Parker had an inkling. He watched enough prime-time drama to know how these things happened. He wasn't dumb. But at the same time, he wasn't sure what to think. After all, when does anyone like to realise they're living a prime-time drama of their own?

Booth was panicking. He didn't want to do it here. Not at the doors of Dulles arrivals hall. Why the hell hadn't they thought of this? Why had he ever thought that bringing Olwyn here was a good idea?

He took his son to the side. He didn't have to bend down very far to be at his level anymore. He placed his hand on Parker's shoulder.

"Parker, I promise I will explain everything. I will answer all of your questions. But not here, okay?"

"Why not? I mean…it's pretty obvious what's going on here." Parker wasn't sure if he was angry or happy or upset. "You and Dr. Bones had a baby together and you didn't tell me until now! Why did you hide that?" Had Booth really been expecting a different reaction than he himself had given Brennan, from his son?

"I didn't. She did. I didn't know about Olwyn 'til yesterday, bud. I'm not even kidding."

"Woah. That's shit!" He exclaimed.

"_Language_ Parker!" Booth scolded, even though he agreed with the sentiment. "Look, that's not something you need to concern yourself with. Me and Brennan, we're working this out." Well, that was an exaggeration, for now. "Look, Parker, I understand this is a lot to take in. And I'm not just saying that. I was in this position yesterday. But I would really appreciate it if you could just hold on until we get home."

Parker looked from his Dad to Brennan and back. Then he nodded.

"Fine." He accepts. As he and Booth walk back to join the others, Parker isn't sure what to do, unable to make eye contact with Brennan.

Booth sighed to himself. What had he gotten himself into?


	16. I Wonder

**Chapter 16 – I Wonder**

It's five o'clock. I've been in DC less than a half hour and I'm already wishing I'm back home.

Normally, this isn't how things are. I run to meet my Dad, we walk to the car, we stop for ice cream on the way home and we talk and talk and talk.

Now, I'm sitting in the back-seat of my Dad's car, with a toddler sitting a couple of feet away who's supposed to be my sister. No one's talking.

I stare at Olwyn. Now that I realise my Dad's her Dad, it seems so obvious. Yeah, she looks like Dr. Bones, but I mean she looks more like my Dad than I do. When her eyes were open, it was like a mini version of my Dad was looking at me. And there's something about her nose and her cheeks and her face in general that just make her a Booth. When you look for it, it's there. She's my little sister.

But how did this happen without me knowing? Well, it wouldn't be all that hard, really. I mean, what's the likelihood that my Dad would actually tell me that he slept with Dr. Bones? Not high. It's not the kind of thing you tell your kid.

Yeah, I know how sex works. Don't look so surprised. I'm 12, not 10!

Why did Dr. B not tell him about Olwyn until yesterday? If she hadn't come back to DC from Ireland, would she have ever told him?

Ever since I was little, I was sure that my Dad and Dr. Bones would get married. I don't know why, but it seemed like an inevitability, you know? When I was a bit older, I wondered if they were dating, like my Mom was. I never asked my Dad. I guess I chickened out every time. Maybe I preferred to pretend that they were secretly in love than to hear my Dad actually tell me that they weren't.

I have always wanted a little brother or sister. But I always expected that it would be my Mom who'd have one, not my Dad.

Dad was really upset when Dr. B left. Well, he was sick, but when he got a bit better and remembered who everyone was, then he got sad. Like, a really depressed kind of sad. He pretended he was okay when he was around me, that everything was fine. I knew it wasn't. It took me a while to figure out that it was Dr. Bones leaving that was really hurting him. I wonder how he would have felt if he'd known she had his kid, too. That thought kind of scares me.

I look at the four of us, sitting in the car. We could be a happy family, driving home from the airport after a vacation, for all anyone else knows. I won't lie, sometimes I wished Dr. Bones was my Mom. Not because I don't like the Mom I've got – I love her – but If I could have two Moms as well as my Dad, Dr. Bones would have been my first choice to be my other one, if you know what I mean.

Now I'm not so sure. What kind of person hides a baby from her Dad for more than two years? I used to think Dr. Bones was the coolest, nicest, smartest person ever. Now I don't know if she's any of those things.

Dad says they're working it out, that it's none of my concern, but I don't understand that. He's my Dad, Olwyn's my sister. Dr. Bones is…well, I hope she becomes something to me. I hope she can explain why she did what she did. I don't _like_ to think she's a bad person. This is my family. It does concern me!

I look out the window, and I can see a few flakes of snow falling. Usually, I'd tell my Dad right away – even though he's driving and has probably noticed already - but today I stay quiet.

Dr. Bones is staring out the window. I can't see her face, but I know it's sad. I've never seen her cry, but I can imagine it. I could tell, when I looked at her earlier, that she's cried a lot recently. I could see it in her eyes. It was like when my Grandpa died. My Mom cried and cried and cried. Days later, she had that same kind of look in her eyes. Pretending it's okay, but ready to burst into tears again at any second.

Now, more than ever, I wish that I could just talk to Dr. Bones. I have missed her so much since she left. I miss all the smart things she used to say, all the things she used to tell me. I wonder how someone so smart could make such a mess. But maybe it's my Dad's fault too.

I wonder if my Dad and Dr. Bones will work things out and be happy again. I wonder if they'll fall in love again. I know for sure that they loved each other some time. I could see it when my Dad was sad. You only get _that_ sad when you lose someone you love.

We _could_ be that happy family, the four of us. I wouldn't always be there, but somehow I like the idea of my Dad, Dr. Bones and Olwyn living together in a house, being a family together. Maybe they could have another baby. Dr. Bones used to make my Dad _so_ happy. And I think he made her happy too.

Maybe I'm wrong, because I don't know all that much about love like _this_, but I can't believe that two people who used to make each other _that_ happy could lose that connection forever. I don't _want_ to believe it, anyway.

I bet Olwyn is really smart, like Dr. Bones. I wonder if her name is Brennan, like her Mom. I guess it has to be. I wonder if they will change it. It would be nice if she was a Booth, too. I like the name a lot. But Brennan is nice too.

I think it's weird that Olwyn knew about me before I knew about her. Why did Dad bring her here, anyway? Wouldn't it have been better to come alone and tell me about everything and then let us meet each other? I guess he wasn't thinking properly. If I'd just found out I had a toddler, I guess I would be a little mixed up, too.

Olwyn calls my Dad 'Daddy'. I still think that's kind of weird. In a good way, though. I'm just not used to sharing a parent – my parents have been sharing _me_ my whole life – but I think it will be okay. She's really cute, and very pretty, for a two year old. She talks a lot, more than I've heard a kid that small talk before. She's like her Mom. I think she will be a pretty cool little sister.

Have they moved back here, or are they just on vacation for the wedding? What will happen if they go back to Ireland? My Dad has a hard enough time with me living in Chicago. It'll make him sad if Olwyn – and Dr. Bones – live in another country. I don't want him to be depressed again. It wasn't fun for anyone. Especially not for Dad.

Will they spend Christmas with us? It would make sense. I know I like having Christmas with just my Dad, but it would be so much better with Dr. Bones and Olwyn. Little kids are great at Christmas. They still believe in Santa and everything is so magical for them. And Christmas is a time for family. Maybe my Dad and Dr. B will remember that and have a happy Christmas together. Maybe it'll be the start of a happy life together.

But maybe I'm getting my hopes up too high.

I just want to talk to them. I don't care if the car isn't the right place for it, I just want answers. But I guess, maybe they don't want to talk about it in front of Olwyn. I get that, she's only little. Even if she's sleeping. I have never felt this impatient in my whole life, not even last Christmas Eve when I had asked 'Santa' for an iPod. I didn't sleep a wink that night.

I pull that same iPod out of my pocket, unravel the headphones and place them in my ears. I don't know what song to listen to. I just hit shuffle and listen to whatever comes on. I'm not even really concentrating on what's playing.

I've spent my whole life just wanting my Dad to be happy. He and Mom, they sorta get along. Most of the time. In an ideal world, _they_'d be together. But that's not gonna happen. I think Dr. Bones could make my Dad happy, or at least I always imagined so.

My head is going in circles. Nothing really makes any sense to me anymore. I want everything to just _be_ okay like it used to be. Part of me really wants to talk to them and find out what happened but at the same time I kinda want to just accept everything the way it is and move on and just be happy. But that wouldn't work. It'd be like tidying your room by putting all the mess in a closet and leaving it there.

My Dad pulls up outside his apartment building. It's already kinda dark out. Olwyn is still sleeping. I've been so wrapped up in my worries I barely noticed the car journey pass by.

I step out of the car and feel the snow crunch under my shoes. It's not very thick but it's still coming down. I like snow when I'm wearing the right clothes, but I'm not right now. Right now I'm already starting to shiver. I waddle through the snow up to the door of my Dad's apartment building. Dad's getting Olwyn out of the car – she's still pretty much asleep – and Dr. Bones is typing the code in to unlock the door. I guess my Dad must have told her it before, when they were still friends.

I drag my shoes across the mat behind the door. The warmth inside hits me really hard, even after only being out in the cold for a few minutes. We all head up to Dad's apartment in silence – we don't want to wake Olwyn.

Dad lays Olwyn on his bed and puts a little blanket over her. She mumbles something I can't hear and turns over, back to sleep. Then the three of us go to the kitchen.

Well, here it goes.


End file.
